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  • Robert D. Bessler

Practical Truths For Finding Your Soul-Mate

Updated: Jun 17, 2019


I have been hearing that 2013 is off to a rough start for many, I hope these posts help you to turn it around and get yourself on track for a wonderful year. Our year is already off to a great start and filled with fun and exciting surprises.I hope the same for you.


Yes, I am a believer in the soul-mate concept. I wasn’t sure I did in the past, but I know with complete clarity now that soul-mates exist. I feel that people have different ideas of what a soul-mate is, so please allow me to share mine. I believe that a soul-mate is someone who is your other half. In the universal law of duality, we have a male and female. This is the same with the natural energies in the universe. The energies of masculine and feminine are not opposites, but compliments. I believe that we are linked to our soul-mate throughout every lifetime, that you have been together throughout countless lifetimes and have the potential to continue finding one another in many more. I also believe that finding one another, while being a challenge, is not always the difficult task it is made out to be in our mind. Remember that the Universe is always conspiring in your favor, attempting to bring you what you desire and are a match for vibrationally. Becoming a vibrational match with our soul-mate is a huge key to finding them.


Understanding what it takes to find your soul-mate is more involved than merely aligning your vibration. While that is certainly a determining factor, there are others things that will need to be brought into alignment as well. I would like to share some of them with you and offer personal examples that expand upon the topics I included in the section of my book on this subject. I hope you find them useful and that they can lead you to a happy and healthy soul-mate experience. I feel it is worth noting again, that opposites do not attract, at least not for long. The belief of opposites attracting should be changed to the understanding that “like attracts like” in order to find true happiness and your soul-mate.


I am going to be honest and share some insights that may be tough to hear. My goal here is not to offend, but to shed the light of honesty on this topic and areas of truth that others may not dare to share. I feel the truth is necessary if you intend to achieve success in finding your soul-mate. Not being ready to hear these truths indicates that you may not truly be ready to meet your soul-mate until such a time that you can hear and act upon the things shared in this article. I hope that if you are reading this that you are ready to progress in a positive direction. My agenda is to serve and assist you in the best way that I can so that you can do just that. I hope for your happiness that you are able to develop a truly honest, open and healthy relationship with the person perfectly suited to you and you to them.


The first step in finding your soul-mate is realized through finding yourself. This may sound strange, but it’s impossible to find your soul-mate if you are not crystal clear on who you are and who you desire to be. Coming into a state of clarity for who you are and who you desire to become is critical for attracting your soul-mate. This requires you to be completely honest with yourself, and you must develop the ability to listen to the voice of your heart instead of the voice in your head. We tend to make most of our life decisions based on social expectations and not truly from a place of personal honesty. Being honest with ourselves can be one of our greatest challenges and yet, failure to do so almost always results in a relationship that ends in unhappiness.

Here are some ideas to help you in this area…


1. Know what your spiritual foundation is in this moment and where you desire it to go in the future as you grow and mature. This is the core of your being and cannot be sacrificed or compromised. The spiritual foundation of your soul-mate will match yours. There will be no need for either of you to change. Converting someone is another form of forcing someone to become someone / something they are not, and is not necessary if they are truly your soul-mate.


2. Be honest with yourself on the things you do and do not like in life. Know yourself. This is your life! We are conditioned into feeling guilty of our behaviors when we focus on our true selves, believing we are being selfish. Living your life, your way is not selfish, it is what you are here to do. This area can include topics such as where you want to live, what type of hobbies you enjoy, what type of lifestyle you desire, what you expect from a relationship, what career you desire, what your personal morals are, what you prefer for a living environment and so on.


3. Be honest with yourself on the type of person you are attracted to. It helps to gain great clarity here as well. Knowing yourself will help you to be better in connection with the type of person you desire to share your life with. The type of person you are attracted to may have something to do with directing you toward your soul-mate. Living this way allows you to connect to your life purpose.


Another crucial factor is the ability to hold your state of authenticity within the unity of a relationship. It is all too common for people to sacrifice their authentic selves in the name creating a relationship, and then they further slip away as a family takes form. Of course, this begins with the relationship built upon untruths and will most likely not end positively. Usually, people attempt to give up part of themselves to fit with someone else or they pretend to be someone they aren’t, but this is not healthy and certainly no way to align yourself with your soul-mate. This is often viewed as compromise, or working at it and are signs that you are forcing a relationship that is not meant to be. It is great for each person to hold onto their individual identities and have their own personal interests, but the majority of interests should be the same as yours.


Here are some ideas to help you in this area…


1. Your soul-mate will like the things you like, there is no reason to compromise. The need to compromise means you are giving up part of yourself (or they are). Either way will lead to unhappiness at some point in the relationship. The need to get away from each other and “do your own thing” is a sign that you are not with your soul-mate.


2. Your soul-mate will love you for who you are now, not who they can train you to be or change you to fit the mold of someone they want. This is goes for you as well. You should love everything about them right now. There should be no desire to change them or train them, but instead, there should be the desire to help them to grow and expand who they are. Here are a couple examples of what I am referring to:


Women must break the cycle of falling for the proverbial “bad boy” in hopes that they can save them or change them. This is a no-win situation because you cannot force someone else to change, and even if you force them to want to change, as soon as they do change, the bad boy is no longer being authentic and then the woman doesn’t love them anymore because they are not the bad boy. The opportunistic man finds this type of woman an easy mark to live off of or cheat on and get away with it because they are addicted to the drama a “bad boy” provides. This whole cycle is one of insanity. You cannot fix someone who is broken; they will stay broken until they make the conscious decision to fix themselves. Releasing your need for drama will allow you to gravitate toward someone who is well adjusted and will provide a harmonious partnership.


Men must escape the cycle of falling for the proverbial “damsel in distress” in the hopes of saving them and being a hero. This hero complex is a weakness of the oversized, yet fragile, male ego and never results in a healthy relationship. The larger the male ego, the larger the hero complex. Often times, this makes the man an easy mark for an opportunistic woman as they find this type of man easy to manipulate by appealing to their inflated ego. Soon to follow is the “accidental” pregnancy as a way to trap you into a relationship. This type of situation doesn’t work out for a couple of reasons. Firstly, as soon as the woman doesn’t need saving anymore, the man loses interest and begins looking for another who does. The second reason is that for the woman who plays this game, the man eventually grows tired of the game and decides to change the rules; this usually means the end of the relationship. As you learn to subdue the ego you will no longer find it necessary to save the damsel in order to stroke your ego. It is then that you will gravitate toward someone more honest and well adjusted, providing you with a more harmonious relationship.


3. You should share the same ideas and discuss desired lifestyles at the beginning of the relationship. Things such as “do we even want to have children?”, “I like a clean, uncluttered home,” and other relationship preferences should be decided upon. The key here is honesty, right from the beginning. Knowing what you desire from a place of authenticity, not social expectation. Be honest with yourself and them; if you have different ideas regarding these things then the truth of the matter is that this is not your soul-mate. The relationship cannot be forced into existence and then expected to be healthy.


Yet another factor is the ability to raise your vibration to the level of the type of person you would like to attract as a mate. Remember that “like attracts like.” That means that if you desire to be with a high quality person with much to offer a relationship, then you must have your personal vibration to the level of a high quality person with much to offer a relationship. Often people look to someone else to lift them up, but this is not how you find your soul-mate; that simply results in a dysfunctional relationship. You must lift yourself up in order to attract someone else who is uplifted. That’s how this universal law works. Align your personal vibration with that of the type of person you truly desire and they will come to you. This is how you find you soul-mate – you attract them to you. The Universe will provide the opportunity to meet, there will be no need to force that either.


There you have it. Three key areas to help you find your soul-mate. You may have noticed the underlying theme of honesty running deeply through this article. It is typical to the point of being cliché’ that people desire honesty in their relationship. Yet, they themselves do not possess the ability to be honest with themselves or truly honest with the other person they are forming a relationship with. The ability to be completely honest with yourself is vitally important. How can anyone expect someone else to be honest with them when they cannot be honest with themselves? I stress this because it was my experience.


I wish you luck in your own journey for a soul-mate. Trust that they do exist and that they are waiting for you. I wish that you come to know the happiness that I know and live a life that feels like heaven of earth. I hope the ideas I share are able to guide you in the process and maybe even speed it up so that you spend many years together experiencing unified love, happiness and appreciation.





– P.S. – Don’t forget to grab your copy of Expansion Mastery! Its for sale on the website and each copy is signed and personalized to you or anyone you desire. While you are there, don’t hesitate to download your copy of on FREE e-book on Reinventing Yourself Through Re-Alignment. Visit www.expansionmastery.com today!

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