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  • Robert D. Bessler

“But” – Excuses Disguised As Reasoning

Updated: Jun 17, 2019

As an author, coach, speaker, and teacher, I constantly listen to people who express themselves and their heartfelt goals only to follow it with the kiss of death – “But.”


“You know Robert, I would love to create a life that is heaven on earth… but…” – its then that the excuse is released that destroys the positive charge placed upon the previous statement, rendering their intentions and ability to manifest it mute. Words like “but” hold us back, limiting our successes in many areas of life.


“I want to move to a new location, but I can’t afford it and it’s just impossible to move.” “I would love to travel to more sacred sites, but I don’t have anyone to go with me and I can’t really afford it.” “I want to exercise more, eat right, and be healthy, but it costs too much and takes too much time.”


“But” is a self-sabotaging word that is used constantly to precede an excuse disguised as reasoning. The problem is that most people don’t even realize they’re caught in its clutches. They are simply unaware of it. They follow a positive, highly charged statement with an excuse for why they cannot have it or don’t deserve it. Usually these excuses are just lies that they continue to tell themselves in order to feel justified in their shortcomings or to remain confined in their comfort zone by particular beliefs. You do deserve it and you can have it! I give you permission to go for it! Now, give yourself that same permission, because its your own permission that really counts. We have occasionally heard that we need to get our head out of our butt, right? Well, I feel we can do that effectively by getting the “but” out of our head! Shift your mentality from one of a victim to one of empowerment.


When we speak from a place of honesty and authenticity, we’re expressing the voice of our Higher-Self or Spirit. We may present our desire to make a positive change in our life. We are being guided to make this change by our Higher-Self so that we may live our purpose. By thinking and saying what we are being guided to do, feeling it in our heart, and not allowing the ego to express its opinion on the matter, we can be well on our way to all new heights of personal and spiritual development. The only thing that is truly in your way is what you allow your mind to believe is in your way. Most obstacles are not real, they are the imagined creation of the ego designed to cause fear based paralysis in order to keep you from moving forward.


When we follow our declaration of positive growth with a “but,” we negate the positive energy of the previous intention, cancelling out the soft voice of our essence with the thunderous voice of the ego. The word “but” is the tool of the egoic mind, it is the misguided mental barrier created by the ego to keep us who we are instead of allowing us to become who we might be. It will sound logical. It will seem reasonable. It will almost make sense. The only problem is that it’s all crap! “But” is an expression associated with the mind’s inability to comprehend how something could possibly come into reality. Don’t allow the mind to focus on the “how” or the “should” or anything else that triggers the egoic mind. Focus clearly on the goal – no “buts!”


The next time you are expressing yourself, speaking from your heart and expressing your deepest desires, catch yourself if you hear the word “but” suddenly leap from your tongue. Stop what you are saying. Repeat the sentiment strongly again and this time end it without the “but.” Do not even allow the “but” to enter your thoughts. You will experience how much better this <em>feels</em> and that is a way to know you are following your Higher-Self instead of your ego. Once you tune into how you feel instead of what your ego wants you to think, you will better grasp how to navigate life from your essence. No excuses. No “buts.” Just think it, feel it, say it, and then do it.


For those interested in the conscious act of manifestation, you need to understand that you cannot attract something if you use “but” while projecting your intentions to the Universe. Many people wonder why manifestation doesn’t seem to work for them, this is one of the reasons. You cannot follow your intention with a self-defeating excuse or reason and expect to achieve attraction. It simply doesn’t work that way. Avoid holding yourself back by using “but” in your thoughts or words. Simply state your declaration and leave it at that. This allows you to speak more clearly and project your true intentions. As you progress in making real spiritual progress, you will find that you naturally have little use for this word as it fades from your vocabulary. Pay attention to highly successful (successful by any definition) people when they speak – you will not hear them say “but” after a powerful, uplifting statement.


Eliminate the limiting vibration of “but” from your thoughts and words and begin to soar. You will set your Spirit free. You will begin to live the life you deserve and become the person you desire.






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