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  • Robert D. Bessler

Want Help Finding Your Soul-Mate?

Updated: Jun 17, 2019


I’ve been receiving a large number of emails and comments from people asking me for advice on how to find their soul-mate. Fair enough – and thank you very much for contacting me. I always enjoy hearing from all of you. While I should reiterate that I don’t really offer “advice,” I do share what I’ve come to know as truth in regards to the topic of soul-mates and the way it unfolded for Amy and I.


While I usually take coaching clients through this process in great detail to facilitate their success, I’ll share a few ideas here in order to help you to begin moving (and vibrating) in the right direction. In the near future, we’ll be making incredibly helpful tools available to all of you that should be of great assistance and serve your ability to attract your soul-mate. We’ll also be guiding you through specific, practical and effective methods at our live events for doing exactly what we did. Hopefully, we’ll be able to make it to your area soon. Of course, I’m always available for personal coaching clients who are serious about this as well.


So, you want to find your soul-mate. Are you sure you’re ready for such a life changing event to occur? Let’s find out.

The first thing to understand, is that in order to experience a life changing event, you need to change your life. Life change requires changes to made to your life, right? Of course. These changes may be in the form of vibration, mental/emotional advancement, or even personal responsibility. Whatever the specific form the change takes depends upon your own unique life situation, one things for certain though, anything you wish to change in your life begins by making changes to yourself.


The next thing to understand, and the thing that I know people hate to hear, is that you must stop trying to search for your soul-mate; that’s just not how it works. Soul-mates will be brought together through divine alignment and attraction. When you search, seek, or otherwise display an act of desperation, you’re attempting to force something that cannot be forced. This results in attracting more reasons to have to seek, search or feel desperate. So, yeah, don’t do that. The big secret to this is to learn how to Attract and Allow. You need to switch from an egoic mindset (that’s desperately forces) to one based in essence (your true self and the mind that allows). Patience is required.


In order to begin attracting your soul-mate, you must become perfectly content with your self. You need to enjoy and appreciate the person you are, and if that’s difficult for you, then how could you possibly expect someone else to love and appreciate you? Think about it. If you’re unhappy with anything about yourself, then you’ll need to take action in order to change it. These changes will result in you becoming a person that you can respect, love, appreciate and enjoy. This will raise your vibration to match that of someone who can love, respect, and appreciate everything about you. Remember that soul-mates have absolutely no reason to compromise.


It’s not about simply accepting yourself as you are in order to satisfy the ego while continuing to live with your own faults. This is a common misconception in regards to the new age idea of accepting yourself as perfect just the way you are. It may feel good for a moment, but you’ll find yourself stuck in the same place you’ve always been – without your soul-mate. In order to love yourself the way you are, you may recognize that there are (at least) a few things about yourself that you’re not particularly fond of. In that case, jump into action and make those changes in yourself. You can do it – I did. This is what I meant by my earlier statement of changing yourself in order to change your life.


Don’t wallow in self-pity or become discouraged over these faults, instead, accept that you have them, face them, accept that you desire to change them to become the person you know in your heart you were meant to be, and then engage in the practices that can help you make those changes. The most important change is overcoming your own ego. If you’re unwilling to look at yourself through the lens of honesty, and make improvements, than how can you expect someone else who’s truly magnificent to settle for you? You must rise to be magnificent too – and you know that you can. Only then can you be in vibrational alignment with your soul-mate. See, its not about trying to find them, its about vibrating at the same frequency so that the universe can bring you together.


Take a long honest look at yourself, change what you don’t like, and raise your vibration and value to match that of your soul-mate’s. Soul-mates require both people to be awakened and holding a sense of egolessness. To do this requires great diligence, that’s why so few people throughout the world are able to meet their soul-mate. They’re simply not willing to do what it takes. Are you? Do it for yourself first and foremost and the rest will fall into place naturally.


In becoming the mindful, awakened, and egoless person you know you were meant to be, by becoming your very best self, you will set into action, the attraction of your soul-mate. They may require some time to ready themselves in order to be worthy of you and all of your awesomeness as well. This is why the universe delivers them when the time is right, not necessarily when you want it to be. With each area of yourself that you strive to improve upon, that you begin to enjoy about yourself, and respect about yourself, you will set the attraction process into motion. It’s when you are the most happy with yourself; feeling free, loving your life and knowing what it is to feel like your true self doing something that you completely love to do – that you will be most likely to meet your soul-mate. The idea is to actively work on yourself, to get your life in order and begin living it joyfully. This is allowing.


The allowing starts when you become comfortable being with yourself and you no longer feel alone when you’re by yourself. When you come to enjoy your own aloneness, this will trigger the allowing process. This allows the universe to move things around in order to set up a synchronistic opportunity for the two of you to meet.

I’ve found, and continue to witness, people coming together with their soul-mates when they’re engaged in some form of activity for their own betterment and enjoyment, completely absorbed in their sense of self and enjoying who they are and how they’re living life. This is when you’re most likely to have your soul-mate walk into your life. When you least expect it, the universe will reveal who they are and you’ll be brought together through a situation that may likely appear as a random meeting or coincidence – however it’s anything but.


These are the first steps to implement for finding your soul-mate. This is how the process begins to unfold. I wish you the best of luck. If you have success, please leave a comment and let me know, I always enjoy hearing your good news.

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