Expansion Express – 10 Ways To Know You’re With Your Soul-Mate

Hey everyone! Robert here!

I always receive quite a bit of fantastic feedback regarding the “Soul-Mate” topic and that got me thinking of additional ways I may be of service to others in this area. I came up with an idea: how about “10 ways to tell if you have found your Soul-Mate?” I thought this may prove to be a helpful guideline in establishing your relationship with that special person who is a divinely “perfect” match for you. Yes, I believe they exist, mostly because I have managed to find mine. Yes, I believe you are out there waiting to find one another. Yes, I believe you can do it. I am not a so-called relationship expert, nor am I a therapist (thankfully, on both counts). I am however, an Expansion expert, and I am going to speak on the topic of Soul-Mates from that spiritual perspective as well as my own experience. I am not sharing theory here, instead, I am sharing actual honest experience from my own life and the honest observations I make of those around me. As always, the greatest truth is already known in your own heart. Your challenge is to learn to listen to it, feel it, follow it, and act accordingly.

CAUTION: This post is going to contain deep truths that will go against the grain of many social beliefs. (But then, just how many people in the herd are with their Soul-Mates?) These concepts may cause you to reflect upon yourself and your relationship. They may cause an awakening regarding your current relationship as well as a potential one that is just beginning to take shape. They may cause you to make changes. I am not going to pile on the fluffy, feel-good, empty content regarding this topic which is typical in the spiritual realm. Instead, I am going to give you some practical information you can apply to yourself and your life right now. YOU are solely responsible for your relationship and whatever choices you make regarding it. I am going to describe these topics with a sense of raw honesty; I hope you can appreciate it. Some of them will require great courage to face and accept as truth. I struggled with accepting this before my transformational process too, so I know how you feel. Some of these ideas may require working on yourself before you can share them with another. Open your mind and your heart and feel for yourself if what I say makes sense.

NOTICE: I am not an advocate of divorce. I have gone through it in order to correct my life situation, but it is an experience better left un-had. I am an advocate of taking your relationship seriously and entering into it with a sense of mindfulness and level of consciousness that allows you to make decisions with your authentic voice and presence. Your romantic relationship is the most important one in your life – act responsibly. Please keep in mind that this post is not simply about relationships, but about the relationship with your Soul-Mate; they are very different things.

I have come to know my Soul-Mate. I do not make that statement lightly, but I can make it with complete certainty. It is difficult to explain in a way that is easy to share, but I will attempt to share examples with you from my own life experience to assist me in shedding light on these insights. I hope that if you are already in a relationship, you can read each one of these and feel confident that they are honestly part of your experience too. If not, then you may have some things to think about.

1. Your Soul-Mate will have the same spiritual foundation that you do. This is always the first and most important insight I offer in regards to any relationship, but it is essential for a Soul-Mate. There will be no need for either of you to make changes to your own personal spiritual beliefs or practices. Each of you may bring something new to your practices from your own individual experiences, but the greater spiritual system with be the same. There is never any need for someone to be forced into “converting” into the other’s beliefs. The act of converting someone is an attempt to force them into being someone they are not for the gain of an establishment. Obviously, the establishment itself does not care about the well-being and honesty of the person involved, only that they increase their number of followers. Forcing anything is unnatural and shows that it is not meant to be. You will have the same spiritual ideas, basic practices and desires toward future growth. Soul-Mates walk the same spiritual path prior to the relationship as well as throughout it.

2. Your Soul-Mate will be the feminine or masculine version of yourself. In relationships, they often refer to your significant other as “your other half.” Using the phrase “your better half” is a poor version of this phrase – the underlying idea is that you are both equal. This is not merely a mindless statement to refer to your significant other, it is based in deep truth. Your Soul-Mate will be your “other half;” the other half of your soul. This is why we feel as though they have “completed us” when we find them. If you are a woman, then this man will be the masculine version of you. If you are a man, then this woman will be a feminine version of yourself. You will not be opposites, you will compliment each other so well, in every way, that it will be as though you are two halves of the same person. Indeed, you truly are. When the two halves of a soul find each other and come together, it is an amazingly powerful, divine experience that leaves no room for doubt that Soul-Mates exist. Soul-Mates vibrate at the same frequency and continue to raise their vibrations during the relationship.

3. There will be no compromise or sacrifice in the relationship. There will simply be no need for those things. Anyone stressing that there is, has never known their Soul-Mate. You will simply be who you are and do what is natural for you, and you will fit together with the other person as though it was meant to be. Because it was. When you are with your Soul-Mate there will never be a need to make sacrifices or compromises. You will be completely on the same page in all areas of your relationship and lives. This may be difficult to believe but it is certainly true. Remember that compromising means that someone is giving up a part of themselves and that does not allow them to live from a place of authenticity. Soul-Mates support each others authenticity and strive to allow each other to be who they are. Instead of compromise and sacrifice, you will experience a mutual sense of respect and desire to support each other’s growth. You cannot be happy when you are constantly making sacrifices and a relationship with your Soul-Mate will support an extremely blissful state of joy for you both.

4. The exciting, smouldering fire of love and passion you have for each other will not fade with time. Most people believe that its normal to become bored or complacent with your significant other. I disagree whole-heartedly. I often hear people say that the “magic” is gone after 7 years, or 3 years, or 2 months, or even a few weeks. Is it just me? Doesn’t anyone else see this as a huge red flag? Be willing to take a hard honest look at your relationship; realize the truth that if you feel this way toward the other person then they are obviously not your Soul-Mate. It has been about 5 years and I have felt my love become deeper and more intense with each passing day. The flame is not going out, it is becoming more intense, burning brighter and hotter than ever. You will also have what I call “spiritual love-making.” This is the deepest, intimate act that goes far beyond sexual gratification. Before, during, and after the act of love-making itself, you will feel deeply connected through your eyes, hearts, and bodies, and the union will be a divine connection that will expose the oneness of your souls. As your bodies unite, your hearts will open fully and you will feel your souls merge into one another as you lose yourself in them and them in you. This is a level of bliss that is a gift to mankind and can never be known through casual intercourse.

5. The relationship will be harmonious, even years later. There will be no “working at it” involved in a Soul-Mate relationship. That’s right. The belief that a relationship takes hard work is a myth. It is not true. The necessity of working at it is forcing something, that is not meant to be. Human beings must come to understand this if there is ever any hope of people finding their Soul-Mate. In the past 5 years, there has not been a single moment of working at it in my relationship. In research I’ve done, I have come to understand that this myth is often perpetuated by religious institutions in order to keep families together so as not to lose church members. Therapists often spread this myth as that’s what they were taught to do, and it gives them some form of measuring success and failure. The truth of a Soul-Mate relationship is that there will be no need to work at it, it will be naturally harmonious. Step outside of the belief of having to work at a relationship and know that its okay to expect a smooth, enjoyable romantic experience. Having to work at it is resistance to what is and merely an acceptable term for forcing something that is not supposed to be.

Even after many years into our relationship, we still hold hands, embrace and are affectionate. Our friends all convey to us that they find our relationship inspirational and desire the same for themselves. I never take this for granted, I embrace every time that I get to feel her hand in mine or feel her arms wrap around me tightly when we kiss. I love to envelop her in my arms and have her reach out for my hand whenever we are walking. Saying, “I love you” is commonplace and heartfelt every single time it is uttered. When we are relaxing on the sofa in the evening she still sprawls out, lying across me and I would have it no other way. These things should not fade with time, they should become stronger and more meaningful as the years slip by. Sitting in your own chair or at opposite ends of the sofa may be letting you know that you don’t want to interact with the other person. Having separate beds is definitely telling you something along those same lines. Unconscious body language is very telling. Soul-Mates do not become complacent over time, nor do they become irritated by one another. This type of relationship naturally holds a magic that never requires hard work.

6. There will be a mutually harmonious state of getting along. There will be absolutely no arguing, yelling, name-calling, slamming doors, throwing things, fighting or other form of physical, mental or emotional abuse. How can anyone fool themselves into thinking this type of relationship is acceptable, normal, or remotely healthy? Even when they know it isn’t right, they remain in the relationship for convenience, out of fear, because of social expectations, or for the sake of the kids. You cannot find your Soul-Mate while locked in the wrong relationship. This behavior is one of the clearest signs of all that the person is not your Soul-Mate. When you are with your Soul-Mate, you could never conceive of thinking, saying, or doing anything that would cause them even a moment of discomfort.

A Soul-Mate relationship is a mutually uplifting, respectful, and supportive one with admiration for each other’s strengths and no desire to hold them back in any way. An abusive relationship usually contains someone who looses control of their emotions and lashes out irrationally at the other. Misery loves company, and abusive behavior is an indicator of personal flaws as well as unconsciously acting out because they are unhappy in the relationship. This type of relationship is unhealthy and toxic. We are also programmed to believe that “letting off steam” is healthy in a relationship. I say that they could not be more wrong. If you are with your Soul-Mate there is no need to vent because there is simply nothing to vent about. You are not holding anything in because there is nothing to be held in. This may be hard to accept, but it is the truth. Likewise, you never take it out on them when you are angry or frustrated with someone else. That is another myth that claims it’s alright to take out your frustrations on the one closest to you. This is terribly wrong! When you are with your Soul-Mate, you will find that you want to do things to make them happy and their happiness is always placed above your own. You have no desire to take out anything on them; indeed, you wouldn’t dream of behaving in such a way. I would joyfully lay down my life for my Soul-Mate at any moment without the slightest hesitation. I would never consider spouting off at her because I was frustrated by someone else. Soul-Mates do NOT abuse one another in any manner.

7. You will find that there is no desire for time apart. Separate vacations, separate nights out on the town, just a general need to have your own time away from your significant other. These too, are the red flag warning signs of an unhealthy relationship that is being forced. They are certainly not the signs of being with your Soul-Mate. Apply even a small amount of common sense to this topic. If you desire or need to spend time apart, isn’t that telling you something? This doesn’t mean that you spend every single waking moment together, but there should be no desire to be apart. Alone time is healthy for every individual. It should, however, be just that – time spent with yourself. Most people are so uncomfortable with themselves that they need to constantly be surrounded by others or on the phone with them. It is still natural to spend some time with your friends or family, but you may notice yourself wishing the other person was with you, sharing your experience. If you are looking for ways to escape from the other person, then it’s obvious they are not your Soul-Mate. You should enjoy doing things with your Soul-Mate above all others, even your best friend, as they should be your very best friend.

I find the philosophy of – excuse me for saying this – “bros before hos” to be an extremely juvenile one meant to serve the male ego while degrading women. As a man, there is no one I place above my Soul-Mate. While I truly value my friendships and family relationships, I feel that the relationship with my Soul-Mate is the my highest priority. Soul-Mate relationships have no use for “work-spouses” or “online relationships” or the awful term I recently saw on MSN.com, “flirtationships.” None of this foolishness is necessary when you are with your Soul-Mate. The need for these types of things clearly shows that you are still searching for that special person.

8. Faithfulness, honesty and respect will flourish in a Soul-Mate relationship.These are highly desirable qualities of anyone with a high vibration that is seeking their Soul-Mate. You will be unable to find your Soul-Mate until you have raised your vibration to the level that will attract them to you. This is why so many “rebound relationships” fail: the person has not taken sufficient time to improve themselves. Dr. Wayne Dyer (who I admire greatly) is not just writing all those self-improvement books for his health – he is writing them for ours! At the end of one relationship, I began to put together and actively practice a process that allowed me to work on correcting many major flaws in myself that resulted in raising my vibration to all new heights. Now, you may be asking; if you did that before would your prior relationship have worked out? The answer is absolutely not. I found that by becoming a better person and raising my vibration, it carried me further away from the initial relationship. The transformational process I undertook became known as the Expansion Mastery System and it allowed me to bypass all the rebound relationships and attract my Soul-Mate.

When you have found your Soul-Mate you will naturally be faithful and there will be no cheating or even the slightest temptation to do so, regardless of the circumstance. There is no valid excuse for being unfaithful by either party. That behavior shows you that you are still searching for your Soul-Mate. It is not natural for men to behave this way and should it not be forgiven by the ladies. We are not “dogs,” we are human beings, and it’s time we matured and acted as though we had more intelligence than a homeless stray mut. Women should abide by this as well standard. Cheating is one of the most obvious ways to know you are not with your Soul-Mate. Let’s face it, cheating is never an accident and there is no excuse that justifies it. Not even being drunk or lonely or whatever you dream up in an attempt to be forgiven! A Soul-Mate relationship is one that allows both individuals in the union to be completely honest with themselves and each other. Being dishonest is yet another indicator that you’re not with your Soul-Mate. Both people will be completely satisfied in every way when in the proper relationship. Mutual respect is a clear sign of being with your Soul-Mate. I feel that this respect is a by-product of true love and will be there without effort. If the person you are with treats you disrespectfully in any manner, at any time, then they are obviously not your Soul-Mate.

9. In a Soul-Mate relationship, you can each be your true self. If you have any desire to change, condition, train or otherwise alter your partner, then it’s obvious they are not your Soul-Mate. Period. Soul-Mates will find that they can relax and be themselves, and all of their subtle quirks will be appreciated by the other person. You will find that you embrace these individual behaviors as endearing and smile when they arise because you are observing the person you love being themselves. If the other person irritates you, then I think that says a great deal, don’t you? Your Soul-Mate will basically be unable to irritate you or you them. Irritation is a form of resistance and this lets you know you are attempting to force something. Yes, we all have our off days or bad moods, but even then, you will realize that it is you who is off in that moment and not them. If at the beginning of a relationship, you feel there are things that you would change in the other person, then that lets you know that this is not your Soul-Mate. You will love your Soul-Mate for who they are right now and that love will continue to strengthen as you both grow in life. You will also notice that you encourage and inspire each other to grow while supporting that growth. This growth is the shared life journey of Soul-Mates.

10. There will be no need for drama, manipulation, control, or other negative behaviors or circumstances. Any healthy relationship must be free of these toxic behaviors. Anyone who participates in such things is not vibrating at a level conducive to attracting their Soul-Mate to begin with. A Soul-Mate relationship will not have the presence of any of these toxicities as there will be no need for it. Therefore, make sure that the person you are entering into a relationship with has made enough personal progress to have let go of the need for drama or control. These things always lead to an unhealthy relationship. Likewise, the need to manipulate others is a sign of severe insecurity; they attempt these things because they know the other person is not their Soul-Mate, yet they desire (in vain) to turn them into just that. This never ends well, for anyone. A Soul-Mate relationship will be drama-free. In order to attract your Soul-Mate into your experience you will both have to have made progress in raising your vibrations. Therefore, neither of you will have any use for drama, nor will you have the need to control someone else. You will have risen (vibrationally and spiritually) above such things. You will have no use for manipulation either, you will have risen above this and you will find yourselves able to accept “what is.”

In a Soul-Mate experience, you will find that you get your desired life path very clear between the both fo you from the beginning. You will also find yourself stepping outside of the confines of the herd and their social and cultural expectations. You will be able to honestly address questions that will verify that you are on the same page as the other person – as long as you each speak honestly from your heart. Questions such as, do we desire children or not? Where do you see yourself and us 5 years from now? Ten years from now? What personal pursuits do you have for yourself and as a couple? What about pets? Where do you desire to live? These questions, along with many others, should all be worked out prior to the relationship progressing too far. It is all too common for a relationship to begin and then people are engaged and they havent even addressed these common questions. This is a relationship based upon the unconscious, unawakened, mindless actions of someone who has no idea who they are searching for. I know because I was that type of person some 30 years ago.

You may notice that there are few relationships out there that can claim all of the ten points presented here. This speaks to how many people are in relationships with someone who is simply not their Soul-Mate, yet they keep forcing their way through life in denial of the truth. This is why Soul-Mate relationships are so rare. Not because the other person is too difficult to find, but because we continually insist on forcing relationships that were not meant to be. Human beings as a whole are not very good at finding that special person. It is a process that eludes us as we get taken off course by our own short-comings, sexual desires, impatience, the incessant urges of family members to make compromises (like they did – and how truly happy are they?) in order to have a relationship and give them play-toys in the form of children, and believing the unfortunate myths developed by social and cultural expectations. In a Soul-Mate experience you will notice that all of these points are in place without having to work at putting them there. Forcing anything is nature’s way of letting you know it is not to be. The typical result is human beings not being truly happy in their relationship and not willing to admit it to themselves or take action to correct it.

There are many stories out there designed to guilt you into staying in an unhappy relationship for a multitude of reasons. Remember that guilt is one of the lowest level vibrations in the human spectrum and not a healthy one. Guilt is often wielded casually and carelessly as an effective weapon and has the potential to do as much or more damage than any gun or knife. yet, guilt is used by so many people and religions in order to effect control. Rise above the guilt inflicted upon you by others- know in your heart what is right for you.

I feel that sharing your life with your Soul-Mate is part of your purpose for having this experience in the realm of time and space. I hope that you have the wonderful and blissful experience of being joined with your Soul-Mate. My only goal is to assist you in finding and cultivating the most absolutely magical, romantic relationship that was meant to be.

~ If you are interested in learning the transformational process known as the Expansion Mastery System, please grab your copy of my book, Expansion Mastery: The Practical Guide to Living a Fully Engaged Life. You can get it at www.expansionmastery.com or any fine bookseller near you!

148 thoughts on “Expansion Express – 10 Ways To Know You’re With Your Soul-Mate

  1. Thank you so much! Now I know what to look for whenever I find my soulmate. I’m trying to find all the information I can. I’ve looked into astrology and it says that the Juno asteroid is the soul mate indicator. I’ve gotten my full birth chart by a professional astrologer and it says that my Juno is in Aquarius. I already know that his # beside his sun sign (zodiac sign) should be 15.15. So I went through all the Aquarius birthdays until I found a birthday where their # was 15.15. I found that he was born on February 4th. Although, I do think we’ll have disagreements on the emotional level since his moon is in Taurus and my moon is in Sagittarius. I’m talking way too much! Anyways, just wanted to say thanks for all the information.

    • Hey Aniya!

      Thank you so much for leaving your wonderful comment. It certainly would appear that you are doing everything possible to find that one special person. I have confidence that you will. My soul-mate and I are creating an audio program right now that will guide you through the way we did it. We are trying to put together all of the best information and truths regarding soul-mates and make it available to others in the hopes that they may come to know the joy that we have together. the program will be available right here on the website. I truly hope it helps you in your quest.

      In Appreciation,

  2. Hello Robert,
    This is the absolute best, no frills, no nonsense, right to the point, absolute truth about a soul mate relationship I have ever had the pleasure to read.
    Thank you for the insights from your heart, I would greatly appreciate the audio program you are creating and would like to be one of the first in line when it is released.
    Thank you very much for your contribution to soul mate seekers everywhere !!
    Best Wishes,
    John Z

    • Thank you very much, John!

      I appreciate the kind words and I promise that we are working diligently to develop our incredible soul-mate program. We want to get into the hands of those who truly desire to find that one special love as quickly as we can. There are many unique aspects to this program, including both a male and female perspective! We are putting together the most complete, most honest, and practical information that we possibly can in order to help others experience the magic we have found. There IS a soul-mate out there for everyone, and our goal is to offer this amazing audio program as a map for others to follow so that they may find their bliss as well. Your happiness is my happiness. It looks as though it is going to be about 6 cd’s in total, and I am certain that I will be offering some great bonus gifts to go with it. I will be announcing it right here once it becomes available.

      In Appreciation,

  3. This is very informative I would say the best of how to identify your soul mate, wish I would have found it sooner. I was in emotionally abusive relationship filled with lies, I would stay thinking there was a connection with my partner I could read his mind get inside his dreams know all his emotions. I thought was unique to him. The dreams turn to leave him leave him know, and then I didn’t just get his emotions I could pretty much feel everyone around me like a wave of feelings. I realized I was with wrong person. I am in such a loving better place now in a financial and love luck jackpot.

    • Ruth,

      It is important to be able to realize when we are with the wrong person. This is usually difficult for us to do, but self-honesty is crucial for our true happiness. Sometimes, we are with someone as part of our life journey. They have something for us and we have something for them, but this does not always make them your soul-mate. The exchange may help shape us (and them) to grow and make positive changes in ourselves in order to gain the ability to attract our soul-mate. We may have to let these people go once the exchange has taken place in order to attract our actual soul-mate. I wish you the best of luck and I sincerely hope the information I share is able to help you.

      In Appreciation,

    • Sam,

      I am truly thrilled for you! Congratulations, my friend! I wish you both great happiness as you fully engage your lives together.

      In Appreciation,

  4. Hello Robert,
    I am a 39 year old woman and I have to say that you are right! I have been through other relationships even a marriage; but now I know, actually we both know, that we are true soulmates. We cry a little in happiness together about our love. We strive to make eachother happy and most of all our love is harmonious and our connection is deep like no other. He has all the strengths I do not and I have his. We have both walked the same path of pain and now we notice how appreciative how peaceful our love/ relationship truly is! I have never in my life dreamt of something so peaceful and happy. He knows that we are good alone BUT together we are great!
    When I read your piece I cried thinking yes this is EXACTLY what it feels like…he is the masculine of me and I am the feminine of him. If you decide to write a book on soulmate experiences please email me as we would definitely be interested. This love of soulmates is hard to imagine for those who have no encountered it. I can write this cause I never u doers told the feelings because I had not found it yet because I was there too BUT both parties must feel exactly the same! All the best to you and your soulmate.

    Dr Leslie

    • Hello Dr. Leslie!

      Incredible! I am so happy for you both!! There is no doubt that you are doing it right. I am thrilled to read your comment and I appreciate you taking the time to leave such valuable confirmation of that which I share. More importantly, the truth that you know for yourself from your own life experience. Thank you so much for sharing this and I wish you both all the best in your magnificent soul-mate adventure!

      We are currently working on a audio program about soul-mates. It may even become a book at some point. We recently passed the name of this program by a few people who know this sort of thing and they loved it. One of them is now talking about having us participate in a documentary television production on this topic. This will be their second such production. They are trying to get author, John Gray (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus) to host the program. We deeply desire to share the truth with everyone willing to listen so they can know the happiness that we do – and that the two of you do. Thank you so much!

      In Appreciation,
      ~ Robert

    • I loved reading this, it has confirmed what I believed all along. I and my current partner (my soul mate) were married to other people when we met, both were very controlling and although we both tried to fight our attraction (like moths to a flame) we couldn’t. I cried reading your explanation of soulmates because it is exactly how I feel about my partner. He is everything to me, I would die for him. He lets me be me, he is stronger than me in some areas but I am stronger than him in others, we support each other and I hate being apart from him. We have been together for 6 month but it feels like I have known him my entire life.

      • Hey Angie!

        I am filled with happiness for you and your soul-mate! It opens my heart even further every time I get to hear that someone else has united with their soul-mate. Thank you very much for sharing and I hope to hear that in 6 years or 16 years, that you’re happier than you ever dreamed possible.

        In Appreciation,
        ~ Robert

  5. I believe I met my “Soulmate” in High School. He was a few years ahead of me but we developed a friendship that was very dear to me. We liked each other but were both shy about revealing our feelings. He made attempts but I was too naive to see through the signs.
    About 6 years later, we stumbled upon one another and I left my current relationship to be with him. We lived together for a few months but neither of us were “ready” for the situation. I left, not looking back.
    20 years later, we again, regained communication. I am now married with 2 children but in a relationship that doesn’t satisfy my needs. He and I have been talking and have actually spent some time together hanging out. We are totally comfortable with one another and get along like no time has been missed. He seems to run every time he feels like he’s crossing a certain threshold. We’ve agreed not to run from our friendship again so this time I will not walk without looking back. He is divorced and cannot seem to find the “right one” and I am in a marriage but instant closeness is something that comes naturally between us.
    We have many things in common. We’ve lived similar lives, like the same things and I feel completed safe and secure when in his company.
    The only problem is – he says I “scare” him. I’m not scarey. I think he scares himeself.

    • Hey Debbie!

      Thanks so much for sharing your life experience. One of the main things we have found is that we both had to be ready to come together. This required a form of self-improvement – by both parties involved. It sounds as if you possibly both feel that you are deeply connected, but you each have things you need to work on within yourselves in order to be ready to be together in a healthy, loving relationship. It may be that you are still at different vibratory frequencies that need to be aligned in order for you to come together completely. Sometimes, we are brought together but cannot truly be together until we have learned some personal life lessons and become who we were meant to be as individuals, only then are we ready to move into a true Soul-Mate relationship.

      All The Best! In Appreciation,
      ~ Robert

  6. Hello Robert,

    That was cruel truth, wasn’t it ?

    There are dramas everywhere, anytime, with so much people around us and among us. As children, our expectations are built on social prejudices; ironically the fairy tales that we are reading at the youngest ages are the ones who hold some valid truth about life; too bad we stop reading them (and stop believing in miracles) as we grow up.

    There is a very thin border between guilt (i.e. the guilt of NOT exit a toxic relationship) and desire to NOT hurt (i.e. “I want to spread good energy, and I do not want to hurt any other human soul when breaking the relationship “) and to choose right it envolves a higher understanding of karma, spiritual growth and the universal miss-understood (yet) principle that a soul is here to learn and a moment’s pain is another lesson which would be passed or not.

    Happy must be those who truly have found the soul mate. If life is a puzzle, I see much too many humans to reach the last moment of their life still searching for the one last piece.

    That was the most influential article I have read in years.

    • Hey Alec!

      Thanks so much for this wonderfully written response. I greatly appreciate you sharing your insights on this topic. I agree that we are given glimpses of how life can be through fairy tales and other stories, only to be told not to believe them later on in life. I am happy that you know the difference. Best of luck in attracting your Soul-Mate!

      In Appreciation,
      ~ Robert

      • Robert,

        I believe all of your readers (including me) are landing on your blog to learn. I’ll be very short with my personal story, which by the way is very common for most of the people, and it would emphasize that ignorance always leads to falling (spiritual, physical and mental).

        Ten years ago when I have first met my actual wife it all started as a toxic relationship. With jealousy, fear of loosing, verbal fights that left deep wounds, resents and so much more. Back then I was convinced to fight and not to leave (my brain was playing a trick in which it reversed my father behavior who instead of fighting he has choosen to leave my mom). I was sure that with pain and suffer and trying to understand the other, everything would change and the universal wisdom would finally reward us with full harmony. Ten years later it gets more toxic than ever, with lies, addictions and mental falling.

        All this time I have fed my brain with ignorance and the brain have acted accordingly to this delivered “reality”. But my heart always have known that my puzzle is not complete.
        Now I truly believe that listening to your own heart is the moment when the divine wisdom finds an open window to your soul and would fill you with pure knowledge and genuine awareness.

        And the reward is the Love.

        • Thank you, Alec.

          I can certainly relate to your story and I feel it provides yet another fine example of what I consider to be the “ordinary relationship.” It sounds as if your heart knows what it will take to find an “extraordinary relationship” though. The heart always knows. We are conditioned, in many instances, to believe that fighting is a very normal part of a relationship and the proper course of action to inter-relationship conflict resolution. But in reality, fighting just breeds more fighting and the scars that are left become deeper and deeper. It never offers resolution, only more pain. This is no way to live. There is love and happiness out there for everyone. I wish you all the best on your path.

          In Appreciation,
          ~ Robert

  7. Your realtionship seems to be perfect. So you are telling me you two never had an argument or difference that caused a conflict or misunderstanding between you two? I understand that soulmates are so close that they dont want to see eachother hurt and will do anything to dolve conflict but that doesnt mean that they dont come abouf right? My second question to you is can outside influences have an impact on a soulmate mrelationship like financial problems and family problems. Im not being negative towards your explanation of what soulmates are just trying to figure out if my boyfriend is my soulmate. He loves his family but I dont like t.o webe around them because they dont card for our relationship. He put me first and we were so close that they became jealous and resentful towards him. So I believe he tried to push me away recently but in the process he cant leave me alone. I always felt like he was my soulmateeven years before we got together. We meet eachother our ninth grade year and the first time we looked at eachother it was different. I felt connected and i never forgot that glance niether did he. We stayed friends for a long time lost contact but he was always their. He was out of town once so i didnt see or hear from him for a while i woke up out of my sleep crying and something came over me saying he is your soulmate. Because of financial issues and family issues we are apart. We cant go a day without calling eachother. I dont feel complete unless i hear his voice. Help me out?

    • Hello Jayde!

      Thank you so much for the comment, I really do appreciate your questions. You also exposed the heart of why I write these articles – so that others can get a glimpse of what a true soul-mate relationship is supposed to be, in our humble opinions. Before I begin, I feel that it would be of great value to you to have my wife respond to your situation as well. I will ask her to participate in addressing this question by answering with her own separate comment. This is how we are addressing the book and audio program on this subject – as an equal team offering both male and female soul-mate perspectives. This situation requires a longer answer than what I am able to share here as I don’t have all the facts, and I assure you that we’ll address something like this in detail in our program, but I would like to share something of value here and now for you. While we cannot give you relationship advice as such, I think we can offer our perspective as to how we view this type of situation thereby allowing you to apply it to your own. I hope this helps you, your boyfriend, and anyone else in a similar position find clarity within their own relationship.

      If things such as family and finances are causing you to be apart, then this is showing you both two areas in life that you still need to improve upon before you can truly come together. Facets of life that cause us to struggle are areas where we need to improve ourselves. This is a great opportunity for growth. I worked to polish many aspects of myself before I was able to be ready to enter into the relationship I have now. Many couples take out their frustrations on one another and feel it’s acceptable, but it isn’t. When you live from a high personal vibration, you realize that any shortcoming is your own and then accept responsibility for it and correct it. Soul-Mates would never take it out on one another. If I were in this type of situation, I would strive to raise my vibration, correct my financial instabilities and get very clear on my role as an individual and how that takes precedence over my role within my family. In my book, I talk about the necessity of having a warrior spirit. This is to be strong enough in what you desire to stand up for it and allow no one to shake that sense of knowing. Not even family. I even share “challenges” to help you develop this type of clarity and strength of spirit.

      The first thing is to know yourself, to be authentic, and to live from a place of genuine authenticity as you strive to be the best person you can be. This means knowing yourself deeply and living from that space of knowing while actively participating in practices to strengthen your personal weaknesses. This prepares you for a Soul-Mate relationship. You see, you must rise to the place of such a relationship, they do not happen while our vibrations are low. A Soul-Mate relationship is the result of achieving a very high vibration. Soul-Mates are only attracted to one another through this high vibration. It’s up to each of us to know what we desire for ourselves and from our lives, then to go out and make it happen. You both need to feel complete as individuals, then as Soul-Mates if that’s the case, you will feel an intense sense of calm and completeness when you are together. For it to be real, it must be clearly experienced by both parties. Families often interfere in relationships and attempt to dictate what they believe to be best. This is often meant out of love, but can also simply be a control issue, it depends on the situation and the people involved. The fact is, we cannot allow others to dictate our lives. To do so is to surrender our personal power, something I feel no one should ever do. The main thing I stress here is to be authentic enough, (ie – to know who you are and what you want in life) to live your own life regardless of what anyone else thinks – even family. We never allow family members to negatively impact our relationship or even lower our personal vibrations for a moment. Should they insist on doing so, we separate ourselves from that toxicity until they behave more appropriately. We never get angry with them, but just because they’re family doesn’t give them the right to treat us in such a manner.

      I treasure my wife above all else. She comes first. Period. I strive to provide her with a drama-free, magical life filled with love, happiness and adventure. Something that just seems to happen naturally without much effort at all. I want only the best for her in every possible way. I know she feels the same for me.

      I have come to see thing this way – this is my life and I need to live it my way, taking 100% personal responsibility for everything in it. I do what I feel in my heart is right, whether others can understand it or not, whether others like it or not, and I offer no apologies for that to anyone. I can’t imagine my life without her, nor would I care to.

      Yes, I’m saying that we have never had an argument or harsh word between us in over 6 years. I understand how truly difficult that is for most to believe, but its absolutely true. No fights, no separations, not even the thought of such things. Of course little challenges arise on the rare occasion, this is because we are both deeply invested in spiritual and personal growth, but these things are very insignificant. There is never any yelling, arguing, fighting, drama or doubt for even a second about our love for one another. Allow me to share what we believe are a couple key factors in this – we both strive to overcome our ego and to live with a high vibration. When you are both doing so, then misunderstandings or arguments become completely unnecessary. Another factor is that we are so much alike that there is never a need to compromise or sacrifice, instead, we share an interest and appreciation for the same things. Its almost like two people living the same life. This is because we are both willing to be our authentic selves, there is no need to pretend we like something we don’t in order to pacify the other. That is deceitful and it betrays them and yourself as well. Soul-Mates have no need for such behavior.

      Maybe consider discussing the topics I have provided here with your boyfriend the next time to talk. If you can both agree on a common course of action, you may be able to begin to take your relationship to the next level. It’s not about blame, its about unified growth. If you come to an impasse, then that says one of two things…. One, that you still need to grow as individuals in order to be able to relate to one another vibrationally from a Soul-Mate level. In which case, if you work on yourselves using effective practices, in time you will grow and find yourselves gravitating back to one another. Two, you are not truly Soul-Mates, in which case you will need to be apart in order for each of you to find your true Soul-Mates. When you talk with him make sure to be 100% truthful in what you feel and encourage (and accept) the same from him. I know this takes courage as it’s easy to feel vulnerable, but it is the only way to communicate from the heart.

      I hope this may help offer some perspective and serve you well. I wish you happiness and all the best.
      In Appreciation,
      ~ Robert

    • Hello Jayde,

      I am Robert’s wife Amy, and as he asked me to weigh in on this question I am going to add my perspective on this.

      I think one of the biggest keys to having a harmonious relationship devoid of fighting and arguments is the work we can do on our ego. What is the essence of why people fight? It all comes back to the ego- we need to be right, we need to win, we need to feel more powerful than someone else. I don’t mean to suggest this is always a conscious action; if we are not very self-aware and living from our ego, this type of behavior just comes out in our actions. If I am not trying to always assert myself as a dominant force in the relationship and instead am focused on what is best for the both of us, there is no need to fight or argue.

      Let’s look at a common scenario that might start a small disagreement that could escalate into a fight if not properly handled. Say a couple is trying to decide on where to go for dinner. Firstly, if you are in a Soul-Mate relationship you typically enjoy the same types of food and dining experiences to begin with, so you will not have a situation such as this turn into an argument. But let’s say that we’re discussing it and I suggest we go out for Japanese food. I offer this as a possibility for us, but I am not dead-set on forcing my will, and my ego is not such where I am fixated that I must have this one option and nothing else will be acceptable. One has to be open to life and accepting of the moment, responding fluidly instead of only accepting one outcome. Now let’s say Robert says he really isn’t in the mood for Japanese food tonight, but he offers a different suggestion. This would be perfectly fine for me, as we both enjoy the same things. I do not need to bicker with him, start an argument, or try to “win” the situation, because we are both being genuine in our responses. I know if he doesn’t want that kind of food tonight, he really isn’t in the mood for it- he’s not just trying to “get his way”- and as such I wouldn’t expect him to settle or “compromise” for me. The word “compromise” to me carries the feeling of one or both people settling for something they don’t want. If you are with your Soul-Mate, you never have to compromise on any situation, be it as small as where to go for dinner or as large as where to live; you will both want the same things.

      If there are any challenges that come up for us, we sit down and discuss them rationally and calmly, though this doesn’t happen very often. There is never anything worth fighting about, it’s just figuring out how to respond together as a couple and find a solution. Again, if the ego is under control, there is no need to fly off the handle about small things- we do not have volatile emotional outbursts. We have so much respect and love for each other, it is unthinkable to imagine treating each other poorly, and we certainly wouldn’t do anything to cause the other any pain or discomfort. We have the same goals in life, the same priorities, and want the same things together, so there is no place for much to disagree about.

      As far as outside forces go, we don’t allow them to interfere with US- we put each other first. We both had the situation where our families didn’t want us to be together, but then it became time to separate ourselves from those influences because we both knew what was right for us and what we wanted for our lives. We made it essential to live from a place of authenticity. I did not even think of not being with him because his or my family didn’t totally approve. You have to learn to live your life on your own terms, not on anyone else’s, because only YOU know what is right for you. You see many spouses get in arguments and then go running to their parents, or side with their parents on an issue and separate themselves from their spouse- this says you are still not yet mature enough to even be in a romantic relationship if you still fulfill the role of a child that does what your parents want you to do. It’s great if you are close to your family, but there comes a time when you grow into an adult and become your own person- they do not own you because they raised you.

      As far as finances go, I made sure I would be able to completely hold up my end of things before we even progressed as far as moving in together. We both worked to get right with ourselves before we could give to each other- if you do not work on yourself and get to be the kind of person you want to be, you really don’t have anything to offer the other anyway. If you run into financial difficulties as a couple, then it is time to examine what kind of vibration you are offering and why you are attracting such lack, then work together as a team to correct it. You’ll find when your vibrations are high, you don’t attract so many difficult “external” circumstances, you start only attracting great things to you. This makes life truly magical and you don’t have so many issues pressing down on you to disturb your harmony together.

      This is why Soul-Mate relationships are so rare these days, because it is truly so important to work on becoming the best you before you can hope to attract the best partner.

      I hope this is helpful to you,


  8. Thank you very much for both of your answers. I really appreciate your time and concern. Im reading your post and i still dont want to believe this person isnt my soul mate. Our relationship was great for about two years until these issues came along. Both of you state that you must be at a certain point in your life for the relationship to thrive. So is it possible that it just isnt our time yet and we need to grow more and later we can come together? If this Thankperson is my soul mate will my heart ache regularly because of his abscence? If he isnt my soul mate i will get over him right? Basically from your post i feel as though our vibrations are not where they should be. I thought soul mates only came together when their vibrations were high. Either this person is my soul mate or im in a deep denial. Im 26 years old and i have never felt so attached to someone. I prayed and prayed and asked God to tell me whats going on and i felt like he told me its not our time yet. I dont work and my boyfriend did take care of me but he lost his job cars arent working and he told me to be patient as soon as he gets bk on his feet everything will be better. I cant take being away from him though. Do you think this is my soul mate? I know your tired of me asking questions but this is my last time. Thank you so much again for your time your post and answers were a blessing to hear. Im happy for you two and hope to vibrate equally with someone one day.

    • Hello Jayde,

      It is not really my place to say whether or not someone is a Soul-Mate. That is meant for those involved to figure out on their own journeys. I do believe its possible that each of you needs to grow in your own individual way in order to better fit together, should you be Soul-Mates. My best advice is to follow everything we have shared so far and apply it to yourself and your own situation. See what fits and what doesn’t fit yet. Relax and allow the answers to come to you. Heartache can accompany any lost love situation, not only those of Soul-Mates. I would repeat my earlier advice too – become strong and in control of your own life. Support yourself, become independent, and work on subduing the ego, then you will be raising your vibration and you will be in a better position to attract your Soul-Mate. I wish you all the best.

      In Appreciation,
      ~ Robert

  9. Any advice dear Robert to those who meet their soulmates while already married to a non-soul mate. Its a very difficult one.

  10. I recently have changed my life drastically to better my future, and in doing so I believe I have found my soulmate, this girl is me, but herself, at the same time, and we instantly shared a connection of friendship and trust. I was in a relationship at the time of meeting her, and as I grew as a person and moved past this unhealthy relationship, I have been connecting myself more spiritually to God and myself.. I am unable to stay away from this young woman, and it’s not an infatuation, as there is no desire to just have her(take that any way you want because that is what infatuation is, personal experience), it is a desire to know and move forward with her in my life, and even when we were just friends the thought of her not being in my life shook me down to the core.. I have had a long and painful journey since my youth, and most would look at me as just a youth still. But my eyes and mind are open now, and they only keep showing me how this person; friend, bundle of joy and happiness, despite her own past demons, continue to make me feel like I have never before about someone…

    • Hello Jay,

      Well said, Jay. It sounds as if you and I have had some similar life experiences in this area. I recognize some of the feeling that you share as well. If you are truly soul-mates, she will being feeling the exact same way toward you. make sure that you have improvement practices in place to be worthy of her and attain the ability to attract her into your life. The two of you must be a vibrational match. Soul-mates always are. So exciting to hear!

      Best of luck in moving forward!
      In Appreciation,

  11. Hello Robert

    Me and my partner fits everything on that list EXCEPT for #4.

    Everything has been going perfect but for some odd reason the love and fire has flamed out, I can’t find a reason as to why that is, we have no arguments, no compromise or sacrifice, any of that stuff….one day I suddenly felt no love for her, I cannot explain why.

    PLEASE offer some advice, I really need it.

    Thank you.

    • Hello Jason,

      I need to stress once again that I do not give relationship advice. I merely share my own experience in a way that may allow you to relate it to your own personal experience. I feel that to give advice in such a forum is far to challenging when all of the circumstances are unknown. Any relationship advice that I offer is offered only to personal coaching clients so that I have the opportunity to work with them one on one, meeting them in person and getting a feeling for them.

      That said, I will say that it has been my experience that a true soul-mate experience does not “flame-out.” Indeed, it becomes stronger every single day. It becomes stronger over time in a myriad of ways, with each passing year, and your heart opens further just when you feel it couldn’t possibly do so. Search your heart for the reason, it never lies – as long as you are willing to hear the honest truth. It could simply be that your heart has closed for a reason other than anything to do with her. Do you have a practice in place to effectively open your heart? If not, I provide a great practice in my book. Some soul searching may be in order here for you to discover what’s happening. Without knowing the complete situation, I can’t possibly offer more.

      Bets of luck,
      In Appreciation,

  12. This is beautiful. More people need to be honest like this. Yes, these perfect soul mate relationships do exist and so many people are in denial. Thank you for writing this.

    • Thank you so much Janet!

      Thank you for reading it, and for knowing in your heart that we are sharing a truth.

      In Appreciation,
      ~ Robert

  13. I really agree with this post. I recently met my soul mate few weeks ago. I currently moved to Rio De Janiero after coming here for vacation. But something deep inside me told me that i would find happiness here. I moved and settled here. I was in Lapa and i see a beautiful girl that walked by and caught my eyes for some reason other than beauty. I was too scared to talk to her and she walked away. But something told me i will see her again. 2 hours later, i walk out of a bar in another part of Lapa and she is standing right in front of the door drinking a beer and dancing. I was so surprised and walked up to her and introduced myself to her. Unfortunately, i was too afraid and told her my friend wanted to dance with her. They danced for a while and looked like they were having fun and i was really sad. But i noticed she kept looking in my eyes as she was dancing with my friend. I could feel a connection like i had known her before and could not take my eyes of her. 2 days later i messaged her on facebook telling her I was the one really interested in her. We chatted on FB for 6 hours and talked on skype the next day. We went on our first date and both of us could not believe how strong our connection was from the first second. We both feel very comfortable and ourselves with each other. I took a year off from dating to find myself and suprisingly she had taken 8 months off to do the same thing. Now we kind of live together and we both agreed that it feels like we have known each other before in a past life or it was something meant to be. I am really happy i have found my soul mate.

  14. I agree with all you have described as i have found my soul mate and experienced all what you have mentioned..However i have no connections with him now as we met during a wrong time in our life with duties of each others families and resposibilities.But i know that i will never get that comfort and satisfaction from anyone in my life.The problem is that the grief and sadness which was left still hang around and it has become a eternal misery in my life.Do you have any solution to that?

    • Hello,

      I certainly wish that I had an easy solution for you. Sometimes, Soul-Mates come together before their time. This usually means that either one or both still have areas of themselves to work on in order to awaken and come into full vibrational alignment with one another. Maybe improving upon one’s self will raise your vibration and bring you into vibrational alignment with your Soul-Mate once again. Maybe you will have to wait for the other person to do so. I cannot know this. If not, then it’s been my experience that they may have been an outstanding and very important love, but they were not your actual Soul-Mate. I wish you all the best and I hope that you re-unite with your Soul-Mate and all your misery fades away so quickly that you forget you ever experienced it, leaving you to know only extreme joy. Take care.

      In Appreciation,

  15. Good Evening,

    I Believe To Have Found (Re-Found) My Soulmate. I Have Known Him For Many Years And We’ve Always Had This Magnetic Attraction And Unspoken Bond, However, We’ve Never Acted On It. Recently We Stumbled Soon Each Other Again AndNeither Of Is Have Ever Experienced Anything Like This. Being Around Him Was this Outer Wordly Experience And TheBond We Share Is MorE intense Than Anything I’ve Ever Known. We Are As You Described Each Others Completing Piece… He’s The Masculine Version Of Me And The Other Way Around. It Was Like I’ve Finally Found Home.He Brought This Peace To My Soul, It Is Hard To Describe. It Was Like I Could Feel His Thoughts Inside Of My Heart….. We Are However Forced To Be Apart And Had To Say Goodbye Again. He Lives In The Country Where I Was Born And Raised…. Here, I Have Been In An Abusive Marriage For About 4 Years Now With A 2 Year Old Son In The Mix. So Really…. There Is No Way For Us To Ever Be Together…. Can It Be That We Encounter Our Soulmates, But Geography Keeps You Apart?????

    • Hello Angela,

      The question about geography being a factor in soul-mate relationships is one that arises often. So, do I feel that geography can keep soul-mates apart? My answer is, no it cannot and does not. The entire planet is our home, not just the space inside the invisible fencing of imaginary lines created as a way to divide the people of the world. We are all children of the Earth. I feel you may need to give some thought to a couple different aspects of your situation in order to attain a better sense of clarity for what’s going on. I hope my thoughts are able to help you.

      1. Geography cannot stand in the way of soul-mates if they’re both working to attract their soul-mate to them. When we work to attract our soul-mate it doesn’t matter where they are or where we are, the Universe will devise a way to bring you together through the universal law of attraction. It’s critical to the process to have practices in place that allow you to awaken. You should be actively striving to raise your vibration, overcome your ego, and open your heart. It’s important to understand that he needs to be doing the same sort of things. Most often what truly keeps soul-mates apart, in a way that seems to be geography, is some other external circumstance in one of the person’s life. If you believe it’s impossible because of distance or living far apart, then you’re imposing your own limiting belief into your reality and interfering with the Universe’s ability to set circumstances into motion that would bring you together. Most often here, I find that personal beliefs and lack of awakening (or expansion) are at fault, not one’s geometry.

      2. The big thing here is that a soul-mate union requires both parties to be awakened and high vibrational, open hearted people. What practices and efforts do you personally have in place to achieve this? What practices does he have in place to achieve this? The vibration must be basically the same for both people in order for the union to happen. I feel that this is the greatest reason for the extreme rarity of true soul-mate relationships. Many people blame this on timing, but that’s not an accurate understanding of what’s taking place. It’s always about the vibrational alignment and attraction. It sounds like you’re currently in a difficult relationship and feel as though there’s no way out. I cannot say, but I suspect that it’s quite a struggle for you to hold a high vibration when your life experience includes an abusive relationship.

      Situations like this can appear to be incredibly complex. But, when we still the mind and silence the voice of the ego, we are often able to hear the guidance from within. If you are truly soul-mates, I feel that if you both strive to be the best version of yourselves that you can be, you will be drawn together even in light of what may, at this dark moment, seem to be completely impossible. I have witnessed the impossible happen right before my eyes. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find happiness.

      In Appreciation,
      ~ Robert

      • Thanks So Much For TheFast Response, Which Was So Sincere. I Do Believe In My Heart That Someday We Will Find A Way To Be Together, And He Has Said The Same Thing. Being Apart, And Not Having The Ability To Travel To One Another Has However Certainly Taken Some Of That Hope From Us Both. We Are Remaining Friends And Skype Often, Bu As You Said…This Is A Complex Situation. I Can’t Ever Leave America BC Of My Son, And He Dislikes America And Could Never Imagine Living Here. You Never Know What The Future Holds, But For Now It Seems Impossible.
        As For My Own Awakening… I Feel As Though Being With Him Has Blown Me WidE Open Spiritually And Has Pushed Me To Improve My Life. Pray Daily, And Am Trying To Heal From The Daily Emotional/Psychological Abuse While Trying To.Navigate This Separation. My Still Husband Is Threatening To Take My Son 50%, Which In This State He Can Get BC of The Laws
        Anyways…. Thank You Again For Your time And Your Advice. I Hope There Is A Light At The End Of This Very Dark Tunnel…. Because Most Days I Just Want To Give Up On It All.

        • As Fo Him…. I.think He Is A Realist And Is Working On His Own Life Now, Rather Than Thinking About Our Future. When I Had Just Left He Was Thinking Of Moving Here And Other Ways For Us To Possibly Be Together… But As Stated Above, The Distance And Reality Of Our Situation Has Made Him Retreat His Emotions A Bit. We Both Know We Care About Each Other Deeply. But I Guess Are Accepting This For What It Is… ๐Ÿ™

  16. I just want to thank you for your information on a soulmate I though I fpund my soulmate it was just a fantasy some things we were compatible to and some we were not he was very control as the relationship continue so with that am still in search of my soulmate.

  17. And I want to add to we live in different state I have job but he tells me we are soulmate he don’t work he said he would take care of the house while I pay all the bills. Is this really my soulmate he says he really do love me. But your. Understand of a soulmate makes me question is he really. The one for. We do have some of the same likes but he can’t still be my soulmate THANK YOU AGAIN ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Laverne,

      You’re very welcome. I’m so happy that this article has been able to shed some light on the truth of what a Soul-Mate is. I would simply add this – When Soul-Mates come together, they are two awakened, powerful individuals that together create a “power couple.” This means that both contribute to the greater good of the relationship equally in all areas. It feels wonderful when someone else professes to love you, but the love of a Soul-Mate carries the burning intensity of 1,000 suns. Its a love that allows you to feel their heart in yours and yours in theirs. When souls unite this way, it’s a very powerful situation that shacks the cosmos. You’ll find it – never give up. Best of luck to you!

      In Appreciation,

  18. I enjoyed your article very much. And completely agree about being happy and whole as possible, before entering into any relationship.

    I’m curious, upon meeting your soul mate, did he/she have an aura around them?

    Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Hey Tina!

      Thanks for the question. Yes, my soul-mate (now wife), certainly had an aura. However, as you know, every living person and thing has an aura. The aria is lost when their is no life in the form. Did she have a special aura or one that stood out to me? Yes, there was an attraction that drew me to her and I noticed that when we came near one another, our auras merged and expanded substantially into one. While a normal connection with any other human being brings a certain amount of brightness to both auras, this was a unique merging unlike I have ever experienced with anyone else in my life.

      I hope this helps.

  19. I need help, I don’t know if I have found my soulmate. I remember I was so upset at being alone that I found myself making a deal with the moon, and I know this sounds crazy, but I actually FELT someone there. Like someone or something was listening. I have dreamed of a man only twice in my dreams, he was tall with dark hair and the most beautiful eyes.. I only remember instantly feeling safe with him. But if I have I have no idea how to find him. I’m lost. Can someone please give me advice? I don’t know if I have dreamt of him or if it was just a simple relationship dream.

    • Hello Willow,

      I will share what we’ve come to know in regards to your question. First, I cannot say whether your dream was legitimate or not, that’s for you to determine. However, it’s certainly not out of the realm of possibility that you’re being guided through your dreams. I have experienced such things myself.

      As for finding him… you don’t. Stay with me. I know this is always the hardest answer to hear, but it’s the truth. Don’t search for him, don’t obsess over finding him. That is not the way. You need to attract him into your experience. This attraction is the key that everyone seems to miss. How do you attract him? By raising your own vibration to a point where it’s a vibrational match to his. By doing things to improve your own self, you will be actively attracting this great person to you. There’s no need to search for him. I always recommend to begin meditations for overcoming your ego, being authentic, take 100% responsibility for yourself and your life, and live what you love. Many times, when you’re engaged in participating in something that you’re passionate about and not even thinking about a relationship, you’re just being yourself and you’re completely happy with that; that’s when a soul-mate is very likely to appear. It’s at that time that you’re fully engaged in life, happy, content with yourself, and authentic – that you allow your soul-mate to enter your experience. Think about it from the standpoint of vibration and this makes total sense.

      I hope this gives you a clear perspective on what is necessary. We are currently guiding others through the steps we took and things are unfolding remarkably for them. We will be releasing a new book addressing this topic as a way to offer a clear path for people such as yourself. We’re not claiming it’s an easy way, but from what we’ve experienced it’s about the only real way to find a soul-mate. You deserves that and so does everyone else. We want to help everyone to succeed. Best of luck to you.

      Take care.

    • Hello Nic!

      Thank you for this wonderful comment. I’m very pleased that this article was able to benefit you. I wish you all the best in attracting your soul-mate. Take care, my friend.

      In Appreciation,

  20. Dear Robert,
    I believe I have found my soulmate. When we met , I just had my heart broken and it was sort of rebound for me. I focused on the wrong things, searched for the wrong things, and hurt him in the meantime. I think we were both hurtful towards each other. We needed to grow as individuals and we were not ready for a healthy relationship.
    I have never known another person whose ‘spiritual foundation ‘ is so close to mine, who I can truly be myself with, who is truly my complement, and whose dreams I feel are connected to mine. I am usually wary of guys, but with him I felt some kind of sexual honesty that made me more open.
    I knew I had wronged him a number of times. and when I realised it I apologized to him and told him that I really care for him. But he left, even though I knew that it really broke his heart. We are no longer in contact with each other. I could only hope that I at least also spurred him into becoming a better person as well.
    Since then, I have spent more than two years learning from him, from this experience, and improving my person in general. I am also getting clearer about myself and my beliefs.
    I know that I am not supposed to be dwelling in the past, and I try to be open to whoever the Universe sends my way, if that person is truly my soulmate. But I cannot get rid of this nagging feeling that he is the one for me. Could you maybe give an advice on how I can let this feeling go?
    I do not want to force him back. If he doesn’t find me, I really wish him well, and hope he finds true love. I would also want myself to find true love and live fully.

    • Hello Lauren,

      Thank you so much for sharing this experience. It truly allows everyone here the opportunity to grow. While I do avoid giving advice, I may be able to share some insights into this matter that could help.

      It’s not uncommon that when soul-mates first meet that they’re not ready for a soul-mate relationship. The Universe brings them together, but in a way that offers them the opportunity to build a solid friendship and trust for one another first. This may happen long before any romantic entanglements are ever thought of or take place. If two people are truly soul-mates, then they will find a way back to one other no matter what’s happened. This will usually only take place if both people have grown and awakened to some degree and it could be that the circumstances of the past were a catalyst to that growth.

      You have a very mature attitude regarding this situation, and it certainly sounds as if you’ve grown and expanded yourself. Well done. I respect your ability to wish him well and at the same time understand that you deserve the same thing. That’s exactly right. If he has done the same and is able to heal the hurt, he may feel that same longing you do. If this is the case, the Universe will create the circumstances to bring you together once again. You will gravitate back into each other’s lives. You cannot force him, nor can he force you – that’s ego and it never leads to anything good. As you seem to clearly understand.

      How do you let go of the feeling? Well, it depends if you’re supposed to or not. It could be that you’re hanging onto the feeling out of unresolved guilt or the egoic mind is clinging to what once was. It could also be that your high self is guiding you by continuing to allow these feelings to arise in you. This is a typical form of communication (feeling) used by our higher self. Which one it is only you can answer. If you’re not truly soul-mates, then he will remain unable to forgive and you will remain apart, as it should be. If this is the case, as you continue moving forward with your life and living it in a way that makes you truly happy, and the Universe will arrange for you to meet that one special person. If the two of you are soul-mates, then he’ll be evolving too and reach out to you at some point because his higher self will be urging him to do so. The key for now may be to just relax and get on with your pursuit of your own self expansion and move forward. It’s okay to hold a special place in your heart for him, just don’t allow it to block someone else from coming in. If you meet someone else and you have a feeling that’s stronger than anything you’ve ever known, something very deep and inexplainable stirs within you, you’ll know if they are really your soul-mate, at which time your feelings for the other person will fade into nothing more than a pleasant memory of days past. This is natural. I hope this helps.

      I wish you the very best. Be happy and keep expanding.
      ~ Robert

        • Lauren,

          Thank you for having the courage to share your situation with us. Please feel free to check back in with us and share your progress. I’m confident that you’re on the right path and you’ll attract your soul-mate into your life. I truly enjoy hearing that others have found this sense of happiness and completeness.

          FYI, we now have a Twitter feed and Facebook page for Entangle Souls. Please check us out and if you’re feeling it, give us a “Like.” We’ll also soon be releasing our all new podcast show called, Entangled Souls, and it promises to be incredible!

          Thanks again. Best of luck in everything.
          ~ Robert

  21. hi robert,

    i think i have found my soul mate. but the thing is she is 9 years younger than me. she is a female version of myself.our thoughts and feelings are exactly the same.i mean my characteristics are hers too. i was awestruck. we never met physically but only online , and we are worlds apart. and i’am attracted to her emotionally and spiritually. my intuition tells me she is the one. we two have never been in any other relationships.it’s like we have been waiting each other to find us. how can i go forward if there is so much distance between us.

    • Hello Shill,

      This offers us some interesting points to examine. Thank you for sharing.

      The age difference of 9 years (taking into consideration that you’re both of legal consenting age) doesn’t matter at all. The age difference problem is a false notion perpetuated by socially accepted rules. I feel that an age difference can sometimes be an advantage to the relationship. A soul-mate is brought to us in a way that is beyond many limitations and is definitely not bound by any social norm. In other words, the matter of age is beyond our control as the Universe presents you both in the appropriate manner for the relationship in this lifetime. I’m basing this only upon the limited information you’ve shared, without knowing ages, it’s difficult to determine the exact nature of things. You’ll have to do that for yourself.

      The part that concerns me is that you haven’t actually met in person yet. Your mind may believe that you’re soul-mates, but this is only through a virtual “reality” which is only like being soul-mates on paper; it can be an illusion/delusion. I feel that there absolutely must be a face to face connection in order to truly feel if your hearts connect. This is not something to be done through the internet, it requires “real life.” It requires the interaction of the physical senses and the ability to feel if your hearts open and connect. An internet relationship, contrary to what many believe, is simply not real. A soul-mate relationship certainly doesn’t happen as a long distance internet involvement. Remember that a soul-mate relationship is an ‘extraordinary” one. The only reasonable way I see to proceed is to physically travel to where the other is and spend time with them, feel what happens, and make sure that you have what it takes to be the very best of friends first. Spending a limited amount of time together through a computer is nothing like spending every moment with them in person. The relationship can grow from the platform of friendship through mutual respect and compassion. Then, if it’s right, it with naturally become romantic without being forced.

      It sounds as if you have some of the right ingredients for an extraordinary relationship. The only way to know for sure is to bring it onto reality and be face to face, heart to heart. If two people are truly soul-mates, the distance will not be an issue. Circumstances beyond your control will arrange for the two of you to be in the same place at the same time. I hope this helps you. Best of luck.


  22. One of your points is incorrect. Whether feminine or masculine is energy not actually gender. A female can be more of the masculine energy therefor, her soul mate would be a male/female that is more supportive and feminine in energy. And vice versa. This is the same in same sex couples also. Its not about the gender its about the energy that is expressed through the soul. I am an alpha female, very business oriented, corporate woman and my soul mate is a gentle, loving and devoted man that hates the rat race of high power jobs, corporate world, etc.

    • Hello Jamie,

      Thank you for sharing your insights and perspective, I respect your point of view and appreciate your willingness to share. Thanks too for allowing me an opportunity to clarify more deeply, what I was referring to in this section. I’d like to offer some points for consideration.

      1. Energy itself has no gender, it can be positive or negative (polarities), but these are not gender based, they are vibration based. Energy is beyond masculine or feminine as a singular frequency. The energy of Divine Source (which we are a part) contains within it, a balance of both masculine and feminine qualities. These energies, when manifested into the physical world, are then in (most often) either male and female physical gender form. This is why in certain lifetimes we may be male or female and this can change from lifetime to lifetime. We can see this with nearly every species on the planet. Our physical form plays host to our energy (spirit/soul) in the form of a gender. Of course, along with physical form, we also have the mind. The mind and body then express and embody the physical gender. This serves practical and natural purposes such as to allow for reproduction of the species; without which it would quickly become extinct.

      In non physical, we are all energy. This energy is beyond a single polarity as it contains both polarities within it. This is what I refer to as Divine energy. This is where we come from and where we return once our physical form ceases to exist. I have experienced this twice. This energy is not a bunch of separate energies all grouped together as many believe. This is the oneness of all. It is when, in the non physical, we make the decision to manifest our energy into the reality of time, space and matter in order to experience soul-expansion, that we enter the realm of duality which is expressed through form and gender. This implies two poles, both of which arise from a division of unity. The soul splits into two poles in order to manifest into form. This is why people desperately seek, not only love, but their one true love. They seek to complete their soul energy.

      2. Soul-mates are not always based in duality. A soul-mate does not have to be your opposite (complimentary or contradictory). This is not to say that they can’t be, it’s simply not a rule that must be followed. In most cases, I find that real soul-mates are not opposites of one another, but actually more likely to be essentially the same person. The need for opposites tends to be the reasoning of the dualistic mind. I encourage people to look beyond the veil of duality in the physical world in order to better grasp the true scope of life and spirituality. This is why I stress the need for awakening practices, such as meditation, which can take one on a path that transcends the mind and frees them from dualistic thinking. I do write about the value of duality and its naturalness in the physical world, but also how to see beyond its limitations in my book. As a personal example: My wife and I are both strong people who are business oriented, martial artists, and adventurers. We enjoy all the same things in the same way and we engage in them together which intensifies the experience substantially. Our hearts remain constantly connected, and we have yet to find any manner in which we’re opposites- other than our physical form. Indeed, even in mind we are often one. We think the same thoughts at the same time. When looking at a shelf with dozens of times, we focus on the same thing for the same reasons. The same goes for food presences, living preferences and so on.

      I hope these points offer some value.

      In Appreciation

  23. I would like to add this to the equation.. true Soul Mates will not allow any interference into their relationship. My Mom and Dad were together for 44 years; she passed one day before their 45th anniversary. I was always intrigued by their marriage.. I asked my Mother how she knew that my Dad was her Soul Mate, and she said “You will know”. It really got under my skin that she would not elaborate. Finally, after the 1000th time, I said “HOW DID YOU KNOW?”. She became silent, but after a few minutes, she looked me straight in the eyes with “the look”. She said, “when I saw your Daddy, I saw my children”. That statement hit me like a ton of bricks. That is a very primal, almost evolutionary statement.

  24. Hi Robert,
    I’d like you to elaborate on your line of thinking regarding soulmates and the internet. With so many meeting their spouses online these days it may be difficult for people to accept the, as you seem to be suggesting, necessity to meet in person. What is the role of physical resonance in a “soul” mate connection? Thanks in advance!

    • Hello!

      Thank you for yet another intelligent question. I seem to have some great comments being left here, and for that I offer my appreciation. I’d be happy to elaborate on the topic of soul-mates and internet relationships. Allow me to clarify that I can see value in people “meeting” via the internet, as far as being introduced, but no real healthy relationship can be ever established through an online romance.

      There are many points to be considered here. I’ll number them, offering further clarification if requested on any particular item, as I can easily go deeper into each area.

      1. I am not merely “suggesting” that soul-mates would need to meet in person, I’m stating it outright. There’s no question about this. Stay with me and hear me out. Initially meeting online is fine, but the relationship needs to bloom through personal contact. The internet is a virtual world, it’s not real. If people have difficulty accepting this, then it may indicate that they’re losing touch with reality as they’re continually sucked into the illusion of the virtual world. I see this happening to many and I’m concerned for these people. Especially those who were not alive before the internet existed. It’s a very real problem. If anyone feels this happening, it’s time to turn the computer off, put the phone down, and go out into the real world and interact with real people. Walk in nature, sit in the grass, talk to someone, take a swim, and experience your real life in the real world. The internet may serve as an adequate vehicle for which people can become aware of one another, but that’s as far as the value can go in regards to relationships.

      2. Initially meeting online and introducing yourself to another is fine. No harm. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting many new friends from all around the world via the internet. But, for a romantic relationship it must become real and face to face contact is absolutely necessary. A romantic relationship is a matter of the heart, not the head. When people meet online they communicate only through dead words, using a dead format (typing on a screen), from their minds not their hearts, and no real emotion can be transmitted this way. Another’s true heart cannot be known. Emotion is felt, not thought about. Most often, this leaves room for the mind to create a fantasy about the other person based upon what they want them to be. While this fantasy version of the person is who they actually develop feelings for, these delusions will only hold true as long as they keep the relationship confined to the virtual world. In other words, this is not a relationship based in any form of reality, but the fantasy of the virtual world and a fantasy produced by one’s imagination.

      3. A conscious relationship (soul-mates) can only take place between two conscious individuals. This requires them both to be on the path of awakening and soul expansion. As such, these people live from their hearts, not stuck in their heads. The virtual world of the internet is an extension of the mind and nothing more, there is absolutely no heart connection that can be established online. An online relationship is nothing more than the meeting of two minds, two egos, and this is not real. How do I know? Because you are not your ego, nor are you your mind. The term soul-mates refers to the entangling of souls, not minds. Therefore, this coming together of the minds is little more than mutual mental delusion. A person walking the path of awakening is out in the world living, engaging real people, not sitting behind their computer hiding away from the world while stuck in their head. There’s a time and place for the internet.

      4. We have found that soul-mates generally meet one another as they are involved (absorbed) in something they are passionate about, something they love to do, and are working toward elevating themselves and their vibration. This is the perfect meeting place for soul-mates. This is why we stress that a mutual spiritual (not religious) foundation needs to be present. Both people would be present in this place because they honestly enjoy the activity, not to troll for prospective partners. They would be engaging the activity, enjoying themselves, be happy with themselves, and acting from true authenticity, and then – Bam! From seemingly out of nowhere they meet this other person, the other version of themselves and they feel this deep connection to this person. From this a soul-mate relationship can blossom. Trolling to pick someone up in a bar or online is generally not the birthplace of a conscious relationship.

      5. A soul-mate relationship, or any healthy relationship for that matter, requires an “entanglement” of electromagnetic fields generated by the heart. It’s through this that a heart resonance is formed and a heart-to-heart connection is established. This cannot happen through the internet. In this way, you not only get an accurate feel for the person, but you get to know the real person. You get to feel if you are a vibrational match to them, you get to feel their heart, and you have the opportunity to fall in love in reality.

      6. A soul-mate relationship, or conscious relationship as we call it, contains the component of love and lovemaking. Love cannot be felt through the internet. It can be believed to be felt, but this belief is yet another delusion of the mind. Love is felt in the presence of another. The same holds true for lovemaking. This obviously requires physical connection. through this close physical connection both lovers connect on a heart level and feel the other’s soul. It’s a beautiful and spiritual union that could never take place in a virtual world. This also requires an open heart and an open heart requires one to be in tune to and living from their heart. This cannot take place while on the computer because you are in your head. When in your head, you are also engaging the ego and where there is ego, there is an absence of essence (heart, spirit). The ego and essence cannot co-exist in the same person at the same time.

      7. We have also found that most people act out of desperation when creating a romantic relationship. They’re desperate not to be alone with themselves so they cling to someone in order to prevent this from happening. Doing so through the internet allows them to accomplish this easily because the online relationship formed from the mind uses it as a distraction as not to have to be alone with itself. Most people fear being alone with themselves so much that its second only to their fear of death. Soul-mates are people who are both completely content with themselves and being with themselves without distraction. This is not being lonely, it’s the ability to be perfectly fine being alone with yourself. The internet is basically good for two things – business and distraction. I’m not condemning the internet as I value it as a tool which allows me to meet great people such as yourself. But, it’s a massive problem when one becomes addicted to its distractions in any form. Meeting others online in an attempt to create a romantic relationship is just another form of mental distraction.

      There are 7 points. I could easily write an entire book based upon your outstanding question. Thank you so much for bringing this up as there are likely to be many pondering this topic. I trust I’ve provided some degree of clarity for you.

      Take care, my friend.

      • Your comments about online interactions are spot on. There’s a wonderful moment in the Fred Astaire/Rita Hayworth classic movie, “You Were Never Lovelier” where Rita’s maid advises her, “Beware of note writers who don’t have the courage to court you face to face!” As true now as it was then. Keep up the good work!

        • Hello Kelly,

          Thank you for the words of encouragement and for a very insightful comment. I certainly agree with Rita Hayworth’s maid!

          Thanks again and take care, my friend.

  25. I keep coming back to this because it is so spot on. Thank you! I’m glad this is still up, it’s been incredibly helpful time and again!

    • Nathan,

      This particular post has received a great deal of attention. As you can see, it’s also attracted a number of outstanding comments and questions. We will be expanding on this and offering more clarification through our Entangled Souls format. The majority of the book is already written and the podcast show is nearly ready to launch. While I wrote that article some time ago now, I still stand behind every single point as I continue to live their truth.

      I’m so thrilled that this is of value to you and to others. That’s the point of sharing it.

  26. Thank you so much! First, I too am a Wayne Dyer fan :). Second, thank you for this wonderful post. Everything you have written resonates with the relationship I have only recently entered into (almost a month). I have always been one to say hold on, step back, let’s analyze every aspect of this situation here. I’m feeling very much like this relationship is out of a movie, but so blessed to have found my soul mate. We both just know already, as you put it – we vibrate at the same frequency (I’ve only just in this article, come across Expansion Mastery). We are completely comfortable to be ourselves and love each others’ quirks. I’m baffled that this kind of love is possible (and especially so soon after meeting). I had given up at the relatively young age of 30 that I would ever find The One, and was consigned to having a good enough, happy enough life with my currently 3 year old son. I’m so glad I waited to get married and was fairly picky about relationships in the past. I just can’t be with someone I want to change or who wants to change me, mutual respect and care is so important. And truly, only your Soul Mate will be the someone you do not wish to change. We’ve both had similar life paths, spiritual journeys, similar sense of humor, taste in books, and we break out in random song & dance together all the time. It’s so fun and refreshing and we see a beautiful, happy future together. Reading your post and having every point resonate with my experience is nice. While we know we are soul mates, because we know, we are comfortable and there is no rush either. We have a lifetime we are looking forward to together. It feels so fast to have fallen in love, however we both know it’s right and that there’s no need to go further for a while yet. We have a lifetime and that is just bliss.

    • Hello Amanda,

      YES!!! I am so excited for you both! I couldn’t be more thrilled by your comment, thank you so much for having the courage to share. The sincerity of your words are very easily felt. You get it – and you got it! I have the biggest smile on my face as I write this, because I know how incredibly rare this type of relationship is, as do you. It’s so rare, yet possible for every single person on the planet.

      I would like to comment on a couple of points… First, it seems as though you knew, deep in your heart, what was right for you and your life, and you held strong. My wife had this same type of experience. You had the patience to wait for what was right and the strength to back it up. Now you’re enjoying who that has attracted into your life. This is why we say – Never compromise.

      You mentioned how fast it all happened. This is perfectly fine. I would simply like to share that after nearly 8 years of being together, the fires of love and passion are burning brighter than ever. Time has nothing to do with the moment that two souls recognize one another. We are eternal beings and time is a mental construct, therefore it has no real meaning to the soul. I have a feeling that the two of you may just experience the same thing. My wife and I are so happy for you both.

      Enjoy yourself. Enjoy your soul-mate. Enjoy your joyful adventurous life together!
      ~ Robert

  27. Hi can a married man still believe that his wife is his soul mate after she had two affairs. Also he has cheated on her (it is many years after her affairs when he had a short affair with one woman). He says he doesn’t want to end up old, alone and lonely. Also if they divorced she would get all his money and the house. They have one daughter who is at University. He loves his daughter and doesn’t ever want to hurt her. I think he is trying to convince himself that they are soulmates and he doesn’t want to accept the truth. He says he loves his wife but he doesn’t trust her. Are they still soulmates?Can you please explain this. Thank you.

    • Dear Margaret,

      Thank you for being courageous enough to post this type of question. It’s one that I’m sure is on the minds of many. This offers the opportunity for you and I to bring this sort of situation to light and allows me to offer some insight based on conscious spiritual relationships. I would like to take your question in segments for better clarification.

      “Hi can a married man still believe that his wife is his soul mate after she had two affairs.”

      Unfortunately, people tend to force themselves to believe many outrageous things. This is why I teach to let go of beliefs. But to directly answer your question – while they can choose to believe it, it is absolutely NOT the case. If either party in a relationship has an affair with another person in any form, theirs is unquestionably not a soul-mate relationship. People have affairs because there is something deep within them that’s still driving them to seek out their soul-mate. They lack conscious awareness. Once united with their soul-mate, there will be no considerations of such behavior. Affairs are not “accidents that didn’t mean anything,” they’re indicators that the relationship is not the right one for either party. Put simply – soul-mates do not have affairs.

      “He says he doesnโ€™t want to end up old, alone and lonely. Also if they divorced she would get all his money and the house.”

      This is all too common, clichรฉ even. Many people have a deep fear of being alone. The bottom line is that they’re truly afraid to be with themselves. Too many things they would have to acknowledge and admit to themselves and the mind would rather not do that. I address this situation in my podcast shows (The Fully Engaged Life), as well. This fear is the result of the egoic mind and no soul-mate relationship can be established while either party is still dominated by ego. The statement about the money and the house is just a rationalization, an excuse, nothing more. It’s a way for the mind to justify the false belief instead of addressing the real issue. You can always get another house or more money, but there is just one, and only one, soul-mate. Choosing property over true love makes a statement, don’t you think?

      “They have one daughter who is at University. He loves his daughter and doesnโ€™t ever want to hurt her.”

      I’m happy to hear that he loves his daughter. The relationship between father and daughter is a very separate one than that of husband and wife. All too often people hide behind their children in this type of situation. They inadvertently use them as a shield. This shield provides another form of justification for them to remain where they are, paralyzed by the fear of change and uncertainty. They’d rather feel it’s noble to sacrifice themselves and their happiness for their children instead of facing the discomfort of change, but this is merely an illusion. Each of us is having our own life experience and needs to do what is right for us. In the case of a soul-mate relationship, this experience will be perfectly aligned between the two people involved. It seems that in this case, the daughter is an adult and should be able to handle the situation, especially if the parents can address it in a mature manner. This is all another typical form of excuse, because his love for his daughter has nothing to do with his romantic relationship with her mother. He isn’t going to love his daughter any less by ending the relationship and they’ll always have the father-daughter bond. In this type of situation there is an low vibration and heaviness that once lifted will allow everyone involved to feel lighter and happier. Yes, there may be some pain in the beginning, but there usually is when change happens while people are acting in resistance to it. A great amount of bravery is required to make such a massive life change. I hope he finds the inner strength.

      “I think he is trying to convince himself that they are soulmates and he doesnโ€™t want to accept the truth. He says he loves his wife but he doesnโ€™t trust her. Are they still soulmates?”

      I would agree with you here, Margaret, he is indeed attempting to convince himself – of many things that appear to be untrue. This is how the egoic mind works, that’s why its associated with mental delusion. Trust is a component of love. You cannot have love without trust. More forced attempts to believe something that is obviously not true.

      Please understand that I am not judging this man in any way. His situation is not an uncommon one at all, although it is unfortunate, it provides us with the opportunity to clarify how a conscious soul-mate relationship truly works. I sincerely hope he is able to awaken and see the truth so that all parties involved may live the life they were meant to live. I wish them all the happiness they deserve.

      The sort of relationship that is built on affairs and mistrust, is in no way a soul-mate relationship. This is an dysfunctional relationship, not a conscious one. Many points of this relationship have been provided here, assuming they are accurate, any one of them is enough to realize that the relationship in question is NOT a soul-mate relationship. Wanting to believe it to be so doesn’t make it so.

      I hope this offers the clarity you were seeking and that it may assistance needed for someone to awaken and live their true life purpose with their one and only soul-mate. Life is meant to be a joyous adventure, not something to be lived in fear.

      Thank you very much,

  28. This was the most beautiful article I’ve ever read! I almost cried reading this, my eyes got watery a lot. I don’t know you, but for some reason feel soo happy that you’ve found your soulmate! It just lifts spirit seeing such sacred union between souls <3. I hope I'll find her aswell, one day.. namaste :*

    • Dear Goran,

      Thank you so much, my friend! Your kind words touched my heart. I wish you every success in finding your soul-mate as well. The ability to do so is within you, you have everything you need.

      I have the Preface, Introduction, and first 4 chapters written of our soul-mate book, I hope you’ll check it put and that it may serve you in attracting your soul-mate too.

      In Appreciation,

  29. I think I’ve met my soulmate , already 3 days were talking about being together forever .. We’re both Aries , March 24th and me the 26th. She’s the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever been with . We’re head over heals for each other.. Removed all other woman from my life . We both think about each other all day when we’re not together. It’s only been 3 days but the chemistry is strong , we kiss and snuggle with each other as much as possible. Could see her face forever and she could mine she says . I have money she works as manager of a grocery store a hour away , were already talking about when she moves here or closer . We have had sex one time, we both gave each other a feeling during sex that’s unexplainable .. I get turned on talking about it … Anyways we both have deep inner self esteem issues she loves everything i hate about my self and i love everything she hates about herself . The crazy part is the birthday we’re 2 day apart Aries .. If you know about our zodiac 2 Aries together either make a perfect bond of clash terribly .. I looked at soulmate calculate thing I saw on google and the days weren’t in sync with the data. We’re both Christians that want to go to church and plan on getting back on the path . . She doesn’t know if she can have kids , I’m unsure myself . No time soon we both agree. I know I should of waiting at least a week before posting but if she really is my soulmate I want to show her this one day ๐Ÿ™‚

    This question for Robert , did you take anything slow at first ?

    • Hello Steven,

      Wow! It sounds like you are in a whirlwind of love, my friend. Enjoy it!

      I would like to comment on a few points before addressing your question. Please keep in mind, that I am not offering relationship advice, just providing a spiritual perspective to be considered.

      I love the fact that you snuggle. Isn’t that incredible!? My wife and I treasure that closeness and time together. Snuggling and kissing are important acts of true love.

      I would recommend considering practices to help improve your self esteem issues. I would do this together as a team so you grow together and not apart. However, there are little things we all may dislike about ourselves that our soul-mate finds endearing. That’s a good thing. I would also suggest spending time sitting and thinking openly and honestly with yourself (and she should do the same), in order to know in your heart if you desire to have children or not, what your spiritual foundation is, and if that’s what’s right for you both. be clear of your life direction before the relationship goes too far. You both must know these answers for yourself, by being courageous and completely honest with yourself, being moving forward. Otherwise, you’re mindlessly allowing life to happen to you and that is not the conscious behavior of a soul-mate. Each of you needs to be clear on who you are and what you desire from life. If you do this and it matches perfectly – without compromise or sacrifice – that’s a great indicator that you are most likely soul-mates and not merely experiencing a “shooting star” relationship. If the two of you are at all like us, you’ll be absolutely amazed at how exact your desires are.

      I’m not familiar with the western Zodiac signs so much, I tend to view things more through the eastern Zodiac, where my wife and I are perfectly matched as a Dragon and a Tiger.

      Okay, onto your question. My wife (soul-mate) and I knew each other for several years but there was only a friendship based relationship. Many years later, when life circumstances changed for us both, we seemed drawn together in a way that neither of us had really considered before. Once that realization took place, we both knew that we had something very, very special. It felt so natural, honest, and true. We did take time to first know who we were and what we wanted from life, and then we discussed these points honestly. I feel that each situation is unique. Feel the timing, don’t force it one way or the other out of a sense of “reason.” Everything will unfold in the timeframe that its meant to, if you allow it to. I hope that helps.

      All the best in love and happiness,

  30. I am 67 years young, still look quite good for my age. Anyway, love reading all the info on Soul Mates. I believe I met mine when I was 15 yrs.’ old, my mother interfered with the relationship & stopped me from seeing him. I also found out years later, that he came round to our house, the night before my wedding. I was then 17, & pregnant. I married a man & had an abusive relationship for 35 years, my god, I was so scared to leave him. Eventually we divorced in 2001, phew, the best thing I ever did was get out of that marriage.

    Since that time I have been on my own & love it. The boy I fell in love with when was 15 I have thought about him every day of my life since we parted, he lives in France now & me the UK. But when I do think of him, it feels like pure love & I have never had a bad thought about him. I feel there is a connection between us still. I do hope that one day we will meet again.

    • Greetings Susan!

      Thank you so much for sharing your story. Incredible. I’m sorry to hear about your abusive relationship, no one deserves such treatment. Your story illustrates the point that no one can know who or what is best for someone else. While many parents, other family members or even friends, attempt to control such circumstances with the best of intentions, it usually ends in disaster or misery. There’s a phrase – “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions,” right? When others control the direction of our life path it’s easy to end up living a life that wasn’t meant for you. Once we gather the courage to stop forcing a relationship that wasn’t meant to be, we can correct our life path and position ourselves to attract the life and relationship that is meant to be. It sounds as if you have a solid foundation in that you’re happy with yourself and happy being on your own. These are the first requirements to attracting your soul-mate.

      I cannot say if this man is your soul-mate or not, but it sounds as though there’s still a very strong connection between the two of you. It may well warrant reaching out and making contact to explore the possibilities that may still exist. At 67 years young, you have plenty of time to spend experiencing a soul-mate love, and it certainly sounds as though you deserve it. Living in different countries is not really a barrier for soul-mates, love will create a way to bring you together if it’s real.

      I wish you the very best. Take care.

  31. Your blog nails it. I’d love to be able to share this on Facebook. So many people don’t know what it’s like to be with your soulmate. Thankfully, Jeff and I do.

    Funny that we are all in Kalamazoo!

    • Hello Lisa,

      Thank you so much! I am thrilled to hear that you’ve found your soul-mate, and in Kalamazoo as well! That is so awesome! I appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment here as I truly enjoy them all. I wish you and Jeff all the happiness that soul-mates deserve.

      If you’d like to share the article on Facebook, please feel free. This link should take you directly to the article at expansionmastery.com.
      http://www.expansionmastery.com/blog/487/ โ€Ž

      Take care, live fully, and love deeply,

  32. Thank you so much for this article. It has been one of the best that I have been looking through over the internet regarding Soul-Mates. I have basically been single since 2010- I had a couple very short relationships after then, but they didn’t seem right so I’d break them off. I have just met a guy over a month ago through my brother. He wouldn’t tell me anything about his new friend other then I had to meet him. We’ve been exchanging letters and last Friday I met him in person. Out of my social awkwardness, many subjects were brought up in our conversation- We got on the subject about religion, which I have a very open mind about all of them- they intrigue me. I don’t know what came over me, I would never bring that up upon first actually meeting someone. Not only was he able to keep up with me, but he shares my beliefs(believe me, they are off the wall) and was even taking the words out of my mouth- finishing my sentences. The other crazy thing was I could not take my gaze off of his eyes- I wanted so bad to look at all the tattoos he has lol, but it was a strain to try and do so. I truly believe I have met my match- I actually cried(happy tears) when I came home after the visit because it was the first time in my 31 years I felt understood. Thank you again.

    • Thank you, Brittany!

      Thank you for your kind words and your enthusiastic comment! I can really feel the energy in your words and I am thrilled for you. It sounds as though you’re off to a good start and I truly appreciate your ability to bring up such important topics right from the beginning. That can be very challenging. I’m so excited to hear that such great people are able to use this article as a working guideline in seeking out a real soul-mate relationship.

      Happy tears are the best! I could not be more elated to hear of your happiness and I truly hope this works out to be a soul-mate relationship for you. Isn’t life a grand and amazing thrill-ride!?

      I wish you all the best!

  33. Thank you so much for this. It is crazy how the universe will bring insight to your life at certain times. I actually thought I was with my soulmate. When we met the connection was so strong but throughout the whole relationship, we could never seem to come to a level of understanding…EVER! I honestly feel he only came into my life to help me grow and prepare me for my true soulmate. We would have been together for 3 years this year but I finally made the decision to put my happiness first (I haven’t been happy with him in a long time) and not think of the “connection” we have. I love him to death but after reading about the disrespect and the manipulation it was kind of a stab in the heart because it’s true. Again, thank you for this and I will continue to grow and prepare myself for my true true love.

    • Thank you, Courtney!

      I mean it, Thank you Courtney, for taking the time to leave a wonderful comment and for sharing your story with all of us.

      I applaud your strength and courage for realizing that your own happiness must come first. This is difficult for many to understand, but as I was sharing with someone the other day, it’s the same philosophy as used by airline with the oxygen masks – “Please secure your own mask before helping others.” Your courage too, to end the relationship is inspiring. It’s through this action that we create the space for a new soul-mate experience to be attracted into our life.

      Never being able to reach a state of mutual understanding is a very good indicator that the relationship is not the conscious relationship of soul-mates. As you stated, that doesn’t mean the person didn’t have something of value to give you or get from you. These interactions are very valuable life lessons for us all. However, they have nothing to do with a soul-mate relationship. I’m very pleased that you were able to connect to the truth of what I share regarding disrespect and manipulation. You deserve better and you know it. Everyone does. You’ve opened the space to attract your soul-mate, now just become complete content with yourself, being with yourself, and being your best self – this will set the stage for the attraction of your soul-mate. I wish you every success in finding your own true love!

      Take care and all the best in attracting your soul-mate!

  34. Thank you for this post. I never really believed in soul mates until I met mine. I’ve always been very pragmatic, but I cannot begin to articulate how right it is with this person.
    We are both currently in relationships. She has children that she doesn’t want to hurt by breaking up a marriage. I’ve been questioning my own relationship, and many of the points you have made spoke very clearly to me that it isn’t what it should be. Regardless of what happens with my soul mate, I needed to ask these questions.
    I think that the key thing is that even if we cannot be together, we would rather have the bittersweet joy of friendship only than nothing at all. Not having her as a part of my life is inconceivable.
    Thank you for articulating these things to help me move forwards.

  35. Hello Robert, thank you so much for writing this post!
    It helped me understand that what I feel is real, and not something I’m forcing.
    There’s something deep in my heart that tells me that this person is “the one”.
    Could it be that we are soul-mates, and connect on a high spiritual level, but we are not “ready” or we are holding back for feeling this completely? I mean, we are both young (she’s 19 and I’m 18). Or is a matter of fear?
    I feel as we are perfect together, but we are still lacking in somethings because we are not letting ourselves go… Do you think it could be possible?

    • Hello Ari!

      I am always thrilled to hear that this post has served to help someone!

      I’m pleased to hear that you understand your connection through your heart, instead of your head. This is a very good thing. Could it be that you are sou-mates? I cannot say because, unfortunately, I don’t know either of you or your situation, but yes, it’s certainly possible. In regards to whether or not you’re both “ready” – well, I must ask what the two of you have done to overcome the ego, raise your vibrations, establish a clear sense of personal authenticity, and open your heart centers? You see, these are all things that awaken people to the true soul-mate experience. Could it be that you’re connected on a higher spiritual level that you’re not yet awakened to? Yes indeed. Maybe these types of practices are waiting to be accomplished by you both in order to prepare you to move ahead in a soul-mate relationships with one another. I don’t feel that being 18, 19, or 20 has much to do with whether or not your experience is authentically that of soul-mates near as much as whether or not you’re spiritually “mature” enough. By maturity, I am not referring to physical age, I mean that you both have undergone certain practices to successfully overcome your egos and have established the same spiritual foundations. This is spiritual maturity. I contend that this is the most important thing.

      If you both truly feel that you’re soul-mates, remember that it’s never one-sided, you could engage in such practices together and walk the spiritual path hand-in-hand. My wife and I do just that. This would help you to be “ready” in every way, not to mention bring you closer together in an honest way that develops everlasting true love, friendship, compassion, admiration, and mutual respect.

      Is it fear? Fear is a product of the mind, not the heart, so this provides a clear indication where your love is originating. Maybe it’s not fear as much as the hesitation of the soul because deep in your hearts you both realize that you have yet to go through your own personal spiritual development in order to be ready fo such an amazing and intense relationship. It’s very possible that you’re not letting yourselves go because you’re both still lacking in some things. This brings even more validity to my statement above. Something to consider.

      Yes, Ari, I do think it is possible, and I wish you both the very best in the unfolding of your relationship.I hope this helps provide some clarity.

      Take care, my friend.

  36. Hi Robert!

    I think I met my soulmate back in college. We dated for about 2 years but broke up because he was seeing someone else at the same time (very complicated story, we were teenagers). However, whenever we were together, we always had that inexplicable attraction and love for each other. So after the breakup, 10 years ago, we both moved on and dated different people. He was always on my mind though, and many times he reached out to me to try to reconnect. But I pushed him away because I didnt trust him. That love and attraction however was still there.
    Three years ago I got married, and now know my husband is not the man for me. He has too much work to do to find his own happiness, and I spent the last 6 years (we dated 3 years before getting married) of my life trying to make him happy and teach him how to love himself. I forced myself to believe that I could turn him into the man of my dreams only if I could show him how to be happy. In the process, I lost my joy, my excitement for life, my enthusiasm, myself… About 2 weeks ago, a friend introduced me to the book “Ask And It Is Given”, and I started learning about the law of attraction. My attitude and overall feeling started improving and I felt a weight lifting off my shoulder when I finally admitted to myself that I had to leave my husband, and the man that I truly wanted is my college sweetheart. I reached out to him last week, and it was like he was waiting for my call. We texted for hours, remembering the good times. He had just left a relationship the same day I started reading that book. He told me I have always been on his mind and he feels like we are soulmates, and that he should have married me. He said he never experienced what we had with any other woman and I feel the same.
    I really feel he is my soulmate, but fears from the past kind of scare me. I still remember that he cheated on me and left me for the other girl. But that was 10 years ago and he may have changed, or not. We have made plans to see each others soon to see if the flame is really there. I know my marriage is at the end of the rope, and I am getting ready to leave, no matter if I end up with my soulmate or not.
    How do I know if he is really my soulmate and how do I focus on the positive instead of my hurt from the past? Could it be that we both had some work to do on our own and now we are ready to be together?

    • Hello Stella,

      Thank you for this complex question. This gives us the opportunity to explore a few aspects of the soul-mate relationship a bit more deeply. I will point out a few things, but please remember that I’m not giving relationship advice. I also want to say, excellent book choice! “Ask And It Is Given” is a wonderful book, as are the others in that series. I highly recommend them.

      First, before pursuing things any further with your old flame, I recommend ending your current relationship. Having the intent to leave your relationship is not enough; action must be taken which supports your decision to leave. The bridge must be burned so as not to be used as a safety net. Your resolve must be firmly set. Only then should this other relationship be pursued. Anything less is unfair to all parties involved, including yourself. Be careful not to do to someone else what this other person did to you many years ago.

      Next, did you learn the life lesson involved in this current relationship? No matter how good your intention, you cannot change another person – period. As you experienced, in attempting to do so, you sacrificed your own joy and enthusiasm. You paid the price. Not to mention, he didn’t change. A soul-mate relationship is never entered into with the idea of changing one single thing about the other person. Indeed, the desire to do so clearly reveals that those involved are not soul-mates. Could they be if the other person changed? No. We cannot change another person and forcing them to change themselves results in nothing more than the other person living a lie as someone they’re not. So, the second step would be to take the time to focus on getting back your own joy and excitement for life. Being without this speaks to the lower frequency of vibration you may be in at the moment and soul-mate relationships cannot begin from this space. Soul-mates recognize one another by their higher vibration, and this requires both people to be vibrating at the same higher frequency. Like attracts like, right?

      Okay, so you had a relationship with this person when you were both much younger, and this resulted in him cheating on you, which further resulted in the emotional pain that you still carry with you. Let’s look at all the factors here… you were both young and mistakes happen. Does this excuse his behavior? Not at all. Trust is a core factor in a soul-mate relationship. Trusting the other person 100% is tantamount. However, many years have gone by and you’re both older, wiser, and more mature. Does this mean that he’s changed? Maybe, maybe not. Remember too that soul-mates need to have experienced spiritual practices that have allowed them to overcome the ego, open the heart, developed mindfulness, live in the moment, hold a high vibration and state of constant appreciation. The question is then, have you both undergone this type of personal growth in the years since you’ve been apart? For one of you to do so is not enough, both are required to undergo this transformation in order to rise to the vibrational frequency that makes recognizing your soul-mate possible. This is the crucial factor and the piece of the puzzle must commonly ignored, which is just one reason why soul-mate relationships are so rare.

      It seems that the scar left by him cheating on you is still very much there, and as long as that is so, it’s going to be difficult to trust him. You must first come to fully trust yourself, enjoy your time alone with yourself, and then forgiveness can take place. Forgiveness takes place, only once the ego is overcome. Forgiveness is not overlooking or excusing unacceptable behaviors though, it’s the letting go of the emotional pain. This is true forgiveness. Without this, there will always remain a degree of mistrust, and this cannot be so in a soul-mate relationship. Plus, you deserve better and you know that very well. If you still focus on the negative so much, then you have to determine whether it’s because your ego is still hurt and refuses to let go, or if your higher self (soul) is telling you something. In my observations, it’s generally about the ego, unless the person has successfully practiced meditations to overcome their ego. Only then can the voice of the higher self communicate clearly. I might also recommend before you allow this new relationship to even begin, that you make it very clear that you will not accept being cheated on. Be clear and straight forward of what you expect from a relationship, and do not compromise.

      The third step then is to get involved in some practices that can truly result in raising your vibration, overcoming the ego, and opening your heart. Avoid the flood of New Age fluff out there and get involved in some real practices that have a solid spiritual tradition. Maybe this other person would want to practice these things as well? Your joy and enthusiasm must be found from within, it cannot be given to you by this other person. It may feel exciting in the moment, but it’s just an illusion. Your joy and excitement is not dependent upon another person, its dependent upon you. You should already be enjoying life and excited by the life you’re living when you enter a soul-mate relationship, then when the two of you come together the joy increases exponentially. As I often say, two people of high vibration finding one another and recognizing they are soul-mates, shakes the pillars of heaven with their combined vibration!

      The question is based on what I’ve shared here: are you sure you’re ready to enter into a soul-mate relationship? The challenging part is to be honest with yourself. Have you undergone the personal transformation necessary to raise your vibration? Have you overcome the ego? Do you live each moment form the space of heart-cenetered appreciation and joy? These are the questions you will need to answer for yourself. This is why I’m releasing various programs, to offer people real, practical, effective practices that can result in this sort of soul expansion and increase in vibration. I hope these programs can help great people like you to have the true love they deserve.

      I wish you all the best with your situation, take care. I hope this helps offers you a positive direction.
      ~ Robert

      • Thank you so much Robert. You gave me a lot to think about. There is definitely some trust issues with my ex, even though I feel I have forgiven him. It`s just the fear of going through this hurt again… But I will take your advice and meditate so I can find my inner happiness, joy and clarity before I move on with another relationship. ๐Ÿ™‚

        • You’re very welcome.

          It’s truly great that you have forgiven him and that you’re not carrying around a bunch of unnecessary negative emotions. Excellent! It’s even better that you refuse to allow that to happen again. Being strong and true to oneself can be challenging, but this is necessary if we’re to be authentic. The fear that remains has most likely caused the heart center to close (that’s what fear does to the heart, it closes as a defense mechanism) and, if I may, I would recommend pursuing some heart opening meditations. Chakra work on the solar plexus and heart centers would also be a good idea. Many people don’t realize that the solar plexus chakra must be strong and refined in order to support the opening of the heart chakra, so I might suggest looking into that as well. The heart heart chakra needs to be open in order to communicate with our higher Self. Take your time, get yourself in a really good place – if this is a soul-mate relationship and you’re meant to be together, it will happen. The Universe will see to it. Should this transpire, you want to be ready for it so you can enjoy the experience of a soul-mate relationship to the fullest.

          Take care, and I wish you great success in attracting your soul-mate.
          ~ Robert

  37. Hi Robert,

    I met someone that I shared an instant and very deep connection with unlike any other I’ve experienced. When we spoke, our eyes connected in a way that has not happened with anyone else. I don’t think either of us blinked for a long time as we spoke, and I felt my entire body flushed with warmth, especially at the heart center. My heart felt as though it would explode. The problem is that he is a monk, and though I have tried to forget him, it is impossible. It has been almost 4 years now. He is the only person I have ever been able to see myself with for the rest of my life, though we only ever shared 2 or 3 brief conversations. Since then we have avoided making eye contact with one another for obvious reasons. I don’t think a day goes by that I don’t think of him. There are other significant details of our first meeting which I could share with you personally, but would not like to have published on the site. I am over 40, and I’ve never felt a soulmate connection till this meeting. I would appreciate any insight you can give into this unusual situation and advice for moving on.

    • Hello Linda,

      Thank you for this unique situation. It seems all of you here are really challenging me on this topic – and I appreciate it very much.

      Upon my own divorce and complete ending of that relationship, I too considered becoming a monk. I actually began plans to move to Japan and live as a monk in the mountains. In truth, I did more than just consider this option, I had begun to act on it. That’s when I saw someone who had been right in front of me for many years in a completely new light. This would be the beginning of my own Soul-Mate relationship.

      I see two possibilities with the scenario you’ve shared.

      The first is that a heart-to-heart connection can be common when interacting with truly accomplished spiritual people, such as a monk. Both my wife and I have had numerous interactions as you’ve described with monks and priests, both male and female, throughout Japan and China. Tears well in all of our eyes as we speak to each other and it feels like we’ve known one another since the beginning of time. Indeed, we actually have. Sometimes, we can mistake this honest, heart-opened, interaction with that of love due to the fact that this raw, honest interaction is so rare between people these days. people speak from ego to ego instead of heart to heart. We spend far more time speaking to another’s ego than we do speaking to who they really are. Conversations are often guarded and superficial to the point of being meaningless. This open, honest interaction is indeed a type of love, because it comes from the open-heart, but it is not romantic in nature. It is the love of the awakened who are able to feel this love for all people. This is what I consider to be the true way of interaction between human beings. It feels so wonderful to speak this way to another person. One example of this that my wife and I experienced was in Peru while working on excavating a pyramid. We had an incredible conversation with one of the other workers, even without being fluent in his language. All three of us were speaking openly and honestly and the connection was truly powerful. We had a difficult time saying goode-bye that day. How great would it be to have this type of honest and loving interaction with everyone?

      However, as you said, there was more to the story than what you’ve shared here. Fair enough. Let’s address another possibility.

      The second possibility we must consider is that you are indeed Soul-Mates. One obvious question that comes to mind… are you working to elevate yourself spiritually as he is obviously doing in his role as a monk? You seem to have the same spiritual foundation, which is a must, now it’s time to engage in practices that will allow you to match vibratory frequencies. The situation may be waiting for you to catch up in this way. It could also be that he is still fulfilling something he needs to do in order to be worthy of you. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about the attraction of Soul-Mates, it’s this – When both people are in vibrational alignment and the time is right – there is nothing on Earth that can prevent the coming together of these two souls. Absolutely nothing! If you are indeed Soul-Mates, and you are able to vibrate at the same frequency, and you’ve both overcome your egos, opened your hearts, raised your vibrations, and have connected to your own soul’s guidance – then nothing can stop you from being together in a blissful, loving conscious relationship. There is no distance too great, no circumstance that cannot be overcome, in order for two Soul-Mates to come together as one. If you are indeed Soul-Mates, then he too is thinking about you non-stop and he is giving serious contemplation to being with you instead of continuing his current path.

      I might recommend making contact with him again and sharing how you feel. Don’t be afraid of being hurt, be honest and strong. You need to let him know and give him the opportunity to share how he honestly feels in return. If you are meant to be together, there are no barriers capable of stopping it. If you are not Soul-Mates, then at least you have had the incredible experience of a heart-to-heart interaction with another person. This in itself is a rare experience in life and something to be treasured forever.

      I wish you all the best in your quest. Take care.

  38. I wrote this from my phone.

    I think i found her. I met her 2 months before breaking up from a 5 year relationship. I was forcing that relationship and realized it once everything clicked.

    I first met her at work. I didn’t pay attention to her much. A glance here or there. She initiated the first contact. I said something funny and i felt her laugh deep inside of me. A week went by and i began to think about her. I would shoot her an email every now and then asking for gum or asking how her day went.

    During lunch time, she would sit next to me. Offer me whatever she had. We began talking about anything. 2 weeks ago, i began to feel drawn to her. I even told her that i felt this way which to me is totally out of character. i even wrote her a note( the first of many) explaining that i like to spend time with her and that i would like to get to know her more.

    Eventually work moved us around to different areas of the same floor. Once the dust settle, i couldn’t help but to go look for her. Once i found her, i felt at ease. The emails continued(and still continues) every day. Its funny because i tell her all the time that if she thinks im overstepping the boundaries to please let me know so i could stop. But she says she feels very comfortable around me.

    One day after finishing a day of work i saw her sitting by herself. It was a very slow day at work and she had a later shift. I sat down next to her. We talked for almost 2 hours. We have soo much in common. After leaving her side. I had this feeling. This feeling i cant explain. Its a beautiful feeling unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. This feeling in my chest. I couldn’t stop smiling. I felt at ease. I felt peace. I couldn’t stop talking about her to my friends. They said its just sexual but i can tell you that sex isn’t even a thought. I feel pulled towards her. I want to get to know her completely. I feel this need to make her happy. And this feeling i have in my chest i just can’t explain. I feel like i’m going nuts lol.

    I couldn’t hold this feeling in. I explained to her that she’s very special to me. I explained that i have a feeling about her that i cant explain. I told her that i felt like i have been traveling and finally found her. That i feel like i need to tell her something but i don’t know what it is.

    I’ve cried tears of joy. This has never happened. I cant stop smiling and i can’t keep her out of my head.

    We’re making plans to go hiking, apple picking/pie baking, drive in movies, circus, etc you name it!

    But there is one thing. How do i know if she feels the same way? She said that she is single but had a bad relationship but does want to hang out with me. She is focusing on school and work. I’m afraid that i will push her away if i continue to be overly passionate about wanting to spend time with her.

    I asked if she’d want to be my partner in crime and she said she would whenever she is free. Idk what to do.

    We haven’t gone out yet but i hope we do soon.

    • Greetings Arturo,

      Thank you for this comment. Your passion comes through in your words and your post is such a joy to read.

      Many of the instances and feelings you describe are familiar to me from the process of my own Soul-Mate experience. It seems as though you’ve made your feelings and intention very clear, and honorably so. I commend you for your ability to be open, honest and able to share your feelings with her, as well as for being patient.

      It also seems to me that she is guarded due to the trauma of a past relationship that was not a positive experience for her. She’ll need to address this and overcome it before she’s ready for another serious relationship. This will require spiritual practices and/or meditation. She’ll need to let go of the pain because as long as she holds onto it, her heart will be closed. While you can assist her with this, it is something she has to be ready and willing to do for herself. Avoid the male hero complex of trying to save her. This is her obstacle/opportunity that carries with it a life lesson. It’s common to dive into something such as work or school in order to avoid addressing the issue. It provides a distraction. It’s just one manner in which we hide from ourselves. It’s easier than feeling the pain and having to face it, but it causes us to hold that pain deep inside ourselves, instead of letting it go and moving past it. Too me, this seems to be the primary issue preventing this relationship. She likely needs more time.

      It seems that you are ready for this relationship, but she is not. The timing is not yet right if this is a Soul-Mate relationship. Assuming she is being honest with you, she cannot and should not be rushed into anything. Help her by supporting her and being there for her in whatever manner is possible. Give her a reason to trust someone again. This is how you can help her as she heals. She may have work on herself that needs to be accomplished before she’s ready for such an intense relationship. Likewise, you could take this time to elevate yourself as well to be worthy of her when she’s ready. Remember the key to a true Soul-Mate relationship is that you both vibrate at the same frequency. You must be worthy of each other. This is paramount. You’ll both need to be engaged in practices to establish the same spiritual foundation, overcome your ego, open your heart, raise your vibration, and listen to the guidance of your own higher self (soul), in order to align as Soul-Mates. Maybe this is something you could do together at this point in time?

      It sounds as if you’re a patient person who truly cares for this woman. Patience is a wonderful thing and you may be required to be more patient yet. Don’t rush her or pressure her. Give her the space she needs to heal and move forward. But, at the same time, do not allow yourself to be strung along by her. Things such as “just getting out of a bad relationship” and “focusing on work and school” are cliche’ forms of excuses used to kindly avoid someone’s advances. It’s up to you to determine if she is genuine or not. There will come a time when she’ll need to be forthcoming about her feelings as well. For this to be a Soul-Mate relationship, she’ll need to feel as strongly toward you as you obviously do toward her. If this should happen, then you’ll both know it beyond any doubt and nothing will stop you form being together.

      Good luck my friend. Thanks for sharing. Take care.

  39. Yaaaaaaaay!!!! This is always what I believed in and now somebody actually wrote it down ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

    I am soooooo stoked to know I’m not, and haven’t been, alone in thinking this!!!!

    Thank u Robert for posting!!!! I hope u have a healthy and happy lifetime this go around ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Well Hello Mimi!

      Thank you for the very enthusiastic comment! I love it! My wife and I certainly are writing it down, the new book addressing this topic is about half complete right now. It’s going to blow a lot of minds.

      I’m so happy to hear that there are some great people out there who already get it. Our desire is to help illuminate the path for all of you to have a magical, conscious relationship, because we would love others to feel what we feel and have what we have.

      Thank you, Mimi, for commenting! I hope you have an amazing adventure this time too. Thank you as well for the smiley face emoticons, one can never have too many smiles in their day! Take care, my friend.


  40. Hello Robert and Ram,

    This will be a long one, and I do hope you read it.
    I met a boy at university 11 years ago; we were very very close, and very attracted to each other, but he was in a long term relationship.
    He always made me laugh, conversation flowed, and although nothing happened for over 18 months, we held hands, stayed up late talking.
    I met my (now emotionally abusive) husband ten years ago, we have a 9 year old child. We eventually married and moved to a different country. But, whilst dating him, one night I slept with my friend from school.
    I never saw him again, and never really thought about him again.
    About three years ago, my marriage underwent a severe crisis, and I have struggled mentally since. A year ago, at my lowest point, a book called Ask and it is Given fell into my lap and gave me the strength to make the decision to leave. I just didn’t know how.
    Then 6 months ago,my old friend contacted me out of the blue on social media, saying he was in the country for work, and could we meet up? I did, against my better judgement, and from the second I saw him again I felt pulled to him; the same feelings; feeling safe, comfortable, natural. We walked around the city, holding hands and talking for 7 hours, like nothing had changed. It felt like time slowed down and we’d never been apart. Long story short, we slept together again, and he went back home.
    We have either texted or called each other almost every day since, and it shows no sign of slowing down. We are both married, with children, in different countries. We haven’t even seen each other in 6 months! I can’t believe I did it, but a part of me feels like it was a slap in the face, like my mind literally being woken up. I no longer want this marriage, and whether or not this impossible connection and relationship continues, I now know the kind of love I don’t want.
    I still don’t know why he contacted me after ten years (and it was not his first visit to the country) but I have not been the same since; it shook something deep within me and everything has changed.

    • Hello,

      I’m not sure who Ram is, perhaps you meant Amy?

      I have stated several times recently, and I’ll state it again here – I do not condone nor encourage adultery. Cheating is unquestionably that act of a low vibration which is the opposite end of the vibratory spectrum of that required for a true Soul-Mate relationship. Cheating clearly indicates that all of the people involved are not in a Soul-Mate relationship in any manner, nor are they currently prepared to attract one into their life. There is simply no way around this truth. I don’t make up the rules, I only observe and articulate them.

      I am not clear as to whether or not you’re desiring my input, but I’ll offer it regardless in the hopes that it may provide some sort of vibration raising direction.

      Is what you have with this other person a Soul-Mate relationship? Not at this point in time, it is certainly not, no. Does it have the potential to be? This is not for me to say. But, when you both continue to cheat of your current partners this indicates that neither of you have attained the spiritually open hearted, high vibration, egolessness required for a real Soul-Mate relationship. At this point in time, it seems to have the makings of an infatuation compounded by being in unhappy marriages. This does not make it a Soul-Mate relationship. It seems that the preference is to continue cheating instead of first ending your current relationships. Walking around with someone else for hours and holding hands is cheating. Emailing, calling, texting, and so on are also forms of cheating when done behind your partner’s back. Sleeping with them is obviously also cheating.

      It’s great that you clearly understand what type of relationship you don’t want. So, maybe end that relationship in order to move forward. In order to have a Soul-Mate experience, you’ll need to both end your current loveless relationships, if that’s indeed what they are. Then spend some time raising your vibrations, opening your hearts, and overcoming your egos. Once this has taken place you’ll be in a place where a true Soul-Mate relationship can be attracted. This will reveal the potential, or lack there of, for this to be a real Soul-Mate relationship. You may need to read that book (Ask and It Is Given) again to better understand how attraction truly works. It’s a great book, but some of the practical nature of it’s wisdom seems to elude many who read it. You attract into your life (and relationship) what you’re a vibrational match to. Think about this in light of your current abusive relationship. It seems mutually abusive to me. Could there be a correlation between the cheating and the emotional abuse? Same vibrational frequency, don’t you think? From a low vibration, we’re unable to attract our Soul-Mate because this type of spiritually sacred relationship can only take place within the space of the mutually shared high vibration of both parties involved.

      I wish you the best of luck in attaining a happy, healthy, Soul-Mate relationship. Remember to get yourself and your situation right first, then you’ll attract what you’re looking for.

      Take care,

  41. Thank you for this valuable information. I am in a relationship and we both think we are soul mates. From the first time we saw each other we felt that we have know each other. And making love to each other feels like heaven we feel complete, above the clouds and euphoric . He is more mature than I am so I am the one with the arguments only because I can’t bear being apart from him. We communicate and call each other everyday and when we don’t the day feels empty and unbearable. I can even feel his pain, one time I woke up in the middle of the night and my body was all sweaty the next day he called me and told me that at that exact time he was rushed to the emergency room. I feel chest pain whenever he is sick. And he feels me too one time I was on a trip and I didn’t tell when I will be back I called him when I arrived and he said welcome back. Because of cultural reasons we can’t get married but we difinetley want to. It feels so right, so heavenly and spiritual we can’t remember how we lived without each other it feels that life started when we met. We love each other so much we can’t describe it in words. He is the male version of me even though we are from different generations we get each other it’s like looking in the mirror does this mean he is my soul mate? I am sure he is but I need an expert to judge?

    • Dear Noura,

      Wow! Thank you for sharing this outstanding comment!! I love it!

      In your comment, you use many of the same words and phrases that my wonderful wife and I use to describe our own experience. You seem to share many of the same traits in your relationship that we do in ours. In order to be certain that you are Soul-Mates, I might suggest engaging in practices that would allow you to feel, instead of having to think. Feeling is the way to know for sure if you are Soul-Mates. Thinking can engage the ego and cloud your ability to feel truth.

      My only concern here is the cultural reasons for not being together. Is it that you simply cannot get married, or do the cultural reasons keep you from being together in a relationship at all? It’s not that marriage is necessary to be engaged in a Soul-Mate relationship, because it’s certainly not. While it’s a wonderful concept and one that I obviously brought into my own Soul-Mate relationship, the truth remains that it’s a human creation. The Soul-Mate relationship is something divine and beyond such human bindings. The important thing is that you’re able to be involved in a healthy, loving relationship together. My wife and I decided to let nothing stand in our way, including the generation difference, and enjoy both the divine aspect of being Soul-Mates with the human aspect of marriage. But, this was our unique path and yours may unfold a bit differently. This is perfectly fine. I understand that cultural aspects of life can provide a sensitive issue, but nothing is capable of holding back a true Soul-Mate relationship. Soul-Mates are able to overcome any obstacle in order to allow this divinely inspired relationship to manifest.

      It certainly seems as though you have many of the qualities necessary for this to be a Soul-Mate relationship, and while I cannot say for sure because I haven’t met either of you and all I have to base this on is what you’ve shared here, I would say that it’s a very good possibility that you have found what eludes most people – your Soul-Mate. It certainly sounds promising to me based upon the information you’ve provided! I would ask this however – Do you both actively engage in spiritual practices that would overcome the ego, open the heart, raise your vibration, and allow you to live in a constant state of appreciation? These are factors for attracting your Soul-Mate and living in a Soul-Mate relationship.

      I wish you all the best in this promising relationship and I hope you find it to be a true Soul-Mate experience.

      • Thank you for the reply. Actually I was very different and after I met this man I bacame more giving and forgiving of other people. I no longer use curse words and they actually irritate me now. I am more involved in charity and I am more aware and loving of myself. I became a better person after knowing him. We are both better people now. Cultural reasons are complicated we are from different countries and the law does not permit marriage for foreigners. But we spend time together every now and then and talk everyday. Even if we are not in the same place physically mentally we are together every second. Other people feel this is too little but for us the satisfaction we have after talking or meeting each other is more than we have ever wished for.

      • We have a spiritual marriage to me he is my husband and to him I am his wife we don’t need the validation from a culture that forbids love. If we were in a different country we would be together and we would have a family.

        • Dear Robert,
          Is it possible that someone who I have never met and seen only on TV can be my soulmate ? I have always been single as I have always believed in one relationship in one life time.I am also a very spiritual person and evolved a lot in last few years. It’s the first time in my life that I saw someone(on tv) and that person seems so known to me in every way , its like I know the person since so many life times and can also see thr ‘real self’ the pain and sadness in them and feel like i m the one who can provide them what they do not have in life. Its tough to explain here but in my mind I am already living a life with tht person and I don’t have to force my thoughts about it. It all comes so naturally.

          • Hello, my friend!

            In accordance with my experience and understanding of a true Soul-Mate relationship, I have to say that No, you cannot know your Soul-Mate from seeing someone on television, in a movie, or over the internet. Now, in all fairness, this doesn’t mean that you can’t initially meet them this way. However, to know your Soul-Mate requires face-to-face interaction. You have to have a heart connection and this simply is not possible without knowing the person and being directly with them, establishing a real friendship in reality, not something made up in your mind. A Soul-Mate relationship is not known in your mind, this is where you seem to be mistaken, it’s felt and known in the heart.

            You stated, “But in my mind I am already living a life with that person” but this is surely not reality. Therefore it’s nothing more than mental delusion. Having a fake, fantasy relationship with someone in your head is not reality. It’s no more real than having a fake relationship in virtual reality. Besides, a real Soul-Mate relationship requires BOTH people to feel the same way, and chances are, this person doesn’t know you exist. This is why I’ve been warning people about the trap of the mind and teaching methods to help escape the delusion of the egoic mind. Anything you believe to see or know about this person is most likely just made up in your mind. Why? Because in reality you don’t know them at all, save for maybe what you’ve them in media sources, most of which are nothing more than media stunts to keep your attention. I know this is most likely not what you wanted to hear or what you’ll believe, but this is the truth. I recommend turning the TV off and start actually living your life in reality – it’s much more fun there and it’s the only way you have a chance to find your real Soul-Mate. Chances are, your real Soul-Mate is out there waiting for you to step into your life.

            Take care. I wish you well,

  42. Hi! I asked for a big sign and I think that finding your website might be it. I am married, but I never should have married him. He is a very nice man, but I never felt that spark. He was a rebound relationship that I could never seem to leave because I didn’t want to hurt him and I was afraid that I would never find anyone better. I used to promise myself I wouldn’t marry him, and I initially said no when he asked, but eventually I convinced myself it was a smart idea. I’m so tired of hearing everyone tell me that it’s my responsibility to MAKE it work even though my heart is not in it. We both deserve so much better and my soul knows this.

    I actually think I met my soulmate when I was very young but he lives in another country, so we’ve been separated for a very long time. We kept in touch for a while then life happened and we lost touch but every few years, I would have this NEED to find him and make sure he was still out there and to get in touch with him if I could. And i’ve always dreamed about him. Recently, I had a spiritual awakening which started with him popping into my head COMPLETELY out of the blue. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since. We’ve been in touch again, but since I’m married, we speak rarely. I feel so much love for him that I can’t even describe it. I’m also seeing signs all around me. I see his country referenced everywhere, his initials, and now his name (which is uncommon where I live). I have a question about the signs. They are constant. Maybe 3 a day for the last 8 months… Do you think this is the universe reminding me of him, keeping me on track? Is this common? Or are they maybe a sign that I’m getting closer? I guess it would mean something different for everyone. Just curious if you have experience with signs and soulmates.

    I know that I need to leave my husband before anything can happen. I’ve begun yoga, meditation, and reiki, as well as looking into law of attraction and am working on raising my vibration. I’m suddenly becoming so aware of who I am and what I want out of life. I’m delving back into the hobbies that used to bring me so much joy and shedding the things that I had chosen unconsciously. It’s an amazing journey, full of emotional highs and lows, but I am so eager to see if it ends in us actually being together again in this lifetime. It’s been so hard to get over the guilt and fear of divorce, but your blog is really helping me to realize that a better life and a real love awaits both me and my current husband. We are only standing in each other’s way of true happiness.

    Thank you so much for your honest words.

    • Hello,

      Thank you for sharing such a powerful email.

      I can certainly relate to what you’ve shared. The mind convinces us to do many things that lead us from our true life path, which is evident by the vast amount of unhealthy relationships in the world. Those of us with tender hearts have difficulty hurting the hearts of others, but our own authenticity is always sacrificed because of it. When we step into a true sense of authenticity, we stop sacrificing ourselves for others and do what’s right for ourselves. This may sound selfish at first, but it’s really not. We’re able to give our best to the world when we take up our own stance in the world. That’s when we provide the most value for all those whose lives we touch. Plus, we’re capable of acting on this without unnecessarily hurting anyone else in the process. True compassion is not sacrificing yourself for another, it’s the knowledge to give the other person what they need to become authentic while holding onto your own authenticity. If the relationship is not right, then you’ll both benefit in the long run from dissolving it. That’s the only way both of you will have the potential to find your true Soul-Mates.

      “Making it work” is forcing it. Period. This stands in opposition to the natural flow of life. This notion may be the socially acceptable way to handle such things, but it couldn’t be more wrong. It’s terribly outdated and was developed from an agenda of those set to benefit by people who make it work. If your heart isn’t in it, it’s not meant to be and no amount of “making it work” can ever change that. Only once this belief is realized as being incorrect will the truth about relationships become understood. I commend you for seeing past this illusion. I too was made to feel guilty during that time. But, my transformation allowed me to realize that guilt was being forced upon me by others and I didn’t have to feel it. They can’t force it on us if we don’t allow it. I could feel that what I was doing was right and I knew it beyond any doubt in my heart. When you’re doing what’s right there’s never a reason to feel guilty. If you’re truly doing it for the right reasons you’ll be able to rise above it. Remember that guilt and shame are very low vibrations.

      It sounds like you’re doing so many things right and I’m very excited for you! You’re reclaiming yourself and it feels great. It’s okay that it feels great, it’s supposed to. Never feel guilty for that. Keep walking that path. I might offer a suggestion as to a future form of practice. The emotional rollercoaster should be smoothed out. The ego loves the drama of the ups and downs, but we should strive to establish an emotional baseline. Yes, there’s still natural moments of highs and lows in life, but they don’t have such a dramatic affect on your mind and vibration. In other words, your base feeling (and vibration) of being happy is rarely upset by what’s taking place in your life. This helps you to hold a high vibration.

      To address your question of all the synchronicity taking place. Yes, these things serve to show us that we’re on the right track. They’re like sign posts along the way, showing us that we’re right where we should be at that moment and doing what we need to do. These little signs guide us through life. As we tune into our higher Self, we recognize these signs for frequently. When we’re stuck in our heads and dominated by ego, these signs go unnoticed even though they’re still present. When we’re not seeing these things, it’s a good bet that we’ve strayed from that guidance. I cannot say as to whether or not the Universe is guiding you to this person from your past, but I do encourage people to end one relationship before beginning another, which you already know. Yes, I have a great deal of experience in regards to signs and how they tend to appear for Soul-Mates and for our life path in general. I do discuss this at length in my book and podcast show and while they’re unique to each of us, they’re not always open to whatever interpretation our mind decided to associate it with, they’re guiding us in a specific way that has a core of consistency.

      The one thing I might suggest is this…. Continue focused on yourself right now. Get yourself to a place that you want to be. The person you want to be, living the life you desire to live. This is first. My free e-book given when you join my website may help with this. It’s what I did. Bring the current relationship to a close if that’s what you feel is right for you. Do your best to stay focused on the present and do what needs to be done. Take your stance in the world and be strong. I cannot say whether or not this past relationship has the potential to be a Soul-Mate relationship. You have to determine that for yourself. Ask yourself this question… “Would I still end my current relationship and be excited about the future knowing that this person from the past was not the one?” Pay attention to how you feel immediately after asking yourself this and be willing to be honest with yourself. It’ll tell you a lot! Plus, then you aren’t allowing the mind to cling to the past, just in case this is not your Soul-Mate. The mind loves to cling to the past for security, it loves to attach to what it already knows. Be ready and willing to embrace the the potential of the unknown. This could be leading you to your real Soul-Mate whether it is this person or not. I’m not saying that they aren’t your Soul-Mate, I’m just trying to help you move forward from a healthy place and be ready for your grand adventure, however it may unfold.

      In my opinion, from what you’ve provided in your wonderfully courageous comment here, you’re in for a great adventure! It sounds as though you’re beginning to awaken and move toward a Soul-Mate relationship. Isn’t that what life is meant to be!? I wish you the very best and I hope this is indeed your Soul-Mate. I’d love to hear from you in the future where you’re telling me all about the incredible love and joy in your life within a real Soul-Mate relationship.

      Best wishes,

      • I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind and thorough response. I have signed up for your ebook and I bought your book on Amazon. I am so very excited to read everything you have to say. You are the first person I’ve seen to put into words what I feel in my heart. I have started reading your ebook and in it you say that you have counseled people along this path. Do you still provide that service? I can’t seem to find it on the website. Thank you again.

        • Hello again,

          You’re very welcome. I’m always humbled by responses such as yours and I appreciate them greatly. My book will give you much more information, especially practical ways to keep your vibration high, thank you so much for buying a copy. I hope you love it. My wife and I are currently writing a book together that will focus entirely on Soul-Mates. I promise this will be a unique, and the most honest, book on this subject available. We’re also planning to launch a new podcast show around Valentine’s Day, called Entangled Souls. You can also visit us on Facebook at our Entangled Souls – conscious relationships page.

          Yes, I still accept private coaching clients. I just haven’t gotten all of that information on the website yet. I still have to have them add the Breath Bridge audio program as well. Jeez, I better get on it! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Anyway, I’m happy to email you some of the information if you like. I can use the email address you provided if that’s alright?

          Thank you for the kind words,

  43. I hope you donโ€™t mind me commenting again and asking another question. I feel undoubtedly that I must divorce my current husband and I feel undoubtedly that my soulmate is speaking to my soul and that my higher self is guiding me toward him right now. However, I want the divorce to be as painless as possible. I am currently using Law of Attraction to manifest a mutual and amicable divorce which will result in a true and strong friendship between myself and my current husband and which will be in alignment with the souls of all involved (myself, my husband, our daughter, and our waiting soulmates), however, I am feeling a little unsure if this is the way to goโ€ฆ. Am I supposed to make the leap to show that I have faith, or am I supposed to use LOA? lol, as I type it, I definitely feel that LOA is the way to go. Funny how we already know the answers. I am just wondering if something like that is possible with LOA? I think maybe itโ€™s manifesting because my husband showed me that he was watching a video about spirituality and at first I mistook that as a sign that we had to stay together which made me feel awful, but then I realized that my next step was to begin sharing these tools with him because aiding in his awakening is the only way to set him up for success after the divorce and for him to understand that this is the best course of action for everyone. Iโ€™m just wondering if you have any other advice for creating a mutual and amicable divorce or tips for how to go through divorce in a loving and high vibrational way? This is the hardest part of where I am in my journey right now. Thanks so much!!!

    • Hello again,

      I applaud your desire to end things of friendly terms, I truly hope it works out that way for all involved. One thing you should probably keep in mind is that the LOA is about creating your own experience, others still have the free will not to participate in your reality. You can co-create your own life experience, but you cannot control anyone else’s. I wish you luck with this. In all honesty, I’m probably not the right person to ask about it though, because I attempted to end things on friendly terms with my ex-wife, but she was not having any part of it. She can choose to be angry if that’s what she wants, and in that way she’s creating her own experience and I cannot interfere with or change that. My vibration was in a very different frequency than hers and I wasn’t going to lower mine, nor was she about to raise hers. Hopefully you can have a different experience, but it depends more upon the other person’s reaction and natural vibration more than anything you can control through the LOA. LOA just doesn’t work that way.

      Can a divorce possibly be experienced with a high vibration? Certainly it can! Most anything can be. But this relates to your own vibration first and foremost. Others must hold a high vibration of their own conscious desire. I managed to hold a high vibration throughout most of the divorce proceedings, but there were still a few challenging moments, although for the most part I held a high vibration because I could feel how right and necessary this action was for me (and her, although she couldn’t see it at the time). When you’re moving in the right direction for your own life path, it’s easy to hold a high vibration even in the face of temporary difficulties. Sometimes too, it takes great courage to make substantial life changes.

      Best of luck,

  44. Hi beautiful blog. I was surching because Sean and i are just in awe of how we fit. I mean i meet him 15 years ago and lost him…only to find him again walking in to my familys buisness…. Everything has just happen so fast..but the most natural feelings. The comfortably with eachother ive never had or thought to be possible. It was a great read. Like we were made for one another. Things i never did before…come to me like ive done it for years. It is truly an amazing feeling whenyou just know that you know.

    • Hello Nicole!

      Thank you for the kind words. I’m very thrilled for you both! Enjoy the awesome adventure you have ahead of you and remember to live your life fully engaged. I wish you both all the love and joy of a soul-mate relationship!

      Enjoy every moment.

  45. I had all this for 25 years and then it just stopped gradually over a couple of months.

    Now it’s all gone. Does that mean he wasn’t my soulmate all along?

    • Hello and thank you for leaving such a great comment.

      I can relate to this situation in regards to the time involved in the relationship, so I understand a bit of where you’re coming from.

      I see two possibilities here. Both of these do point to the fact that you were not soul-mates at all. I take no pleasure in saying that. This is why we must be clear on our understanding for the reality of how soul-mates are even possible and what this relationship truly entails and not just what we want it to be.

      The first is that, in reality, you did not satisfy all of the points I’ve laid out for a soul-mate relationship. You may have believed so, but those beliefs may (or may not) have been made from a faulty perception. Unless you’ve undergone specific and authentic mental practices to overcome the ego and attain the state of clear perception, the perception forming your beliefs is that of the faulty delusional nature of the ego and not the truth as known by our essence. The essential qualifier for a true soul-mate relationship is the same spiritual foundation (not religious), with both of you continuing to share that same path together as you engage in the same spiritual practices. If you’re truly soul-mates, this will happen naturally without any sense of forcing it, converting anyone, or dragging the other into something they’re not ready for nor interested in. It’s so easy for our own mind to convince us that we’re in a soul-mate relationship, and for the fluffy new age ideas to seemingly offer supporting evidence of that, when in reality that’s just not the case. The ego needs to feel secure. This is why I stress the need to be awakened in order to attract your soul-mate, who must also be awakened. By “awakened” here I’m referring to actively engaging the ever unfolding process of authentic awakening.

      I’ve worked with many people who’ve claimed to satisfy all of the points I present, until we really go into the details with them and they quickly find that what they believed they had was not truly what they had. Not to mention, I find that so many people use the term “soul-mate” in a very loose and generic fluffy buzz-word-like manner, which leads to incorrect perceptions and faulty beliefs. Some also become confused by the vastly varying definitions of karmic relationships, soul-mates, twin flames, and all kinds of other silly descriptors. The book that my wife and I are soon releasing will offer a definitive understanding of all of this. I trust that it’ll help anyone seeking to understand the truth of this type of amazing relationship, and to be clear on the circumstances of their relationship early on.

      The second possibility is that the other person was not open and honest with you regarding how they truly felt. This can be difficult for people to do as most just allow life to happen to them and go along without a sense of understanding. I know this from past experience when I was younger, this is how I entered into a 25 year relationship that was not meant to be. Although, I never mistook it for a soul-mate relationship, but I just went with it. In this way, you may have been led to believe that you had something that you really did not. This seems fairly plausible since things changed so dramatically in just a couple months, but then I have no details of your situation at all, so I cannot say with any degree of certainty.

      True soul-mates remain entangled for all eternity, it can be no other way. They’re two halves of the same soul and therefore must remain entangled in both physical form and non-physical formlessness. Time, as we know it, does not apply to this type of relationship – it is forever and that’s never long enough to be together for true soul-mates.

      Thank you for sharing with us and I wish you success in finding your true soul-mate. Take care my friend.


  46. I thought I was in a soul mate relationship but ..after 31 years he decided to get a bj from my bf. she was asking him for years to do this at parties always turned her down but …he finally gave in. He never finished cause he kept thinking of me ..not good .he was sooo drunk I no not an excuse. I’m trying to move on but am very hurt from her doing this ..him to I’m scared to take him back . He said he was drunk but doesn’t make it right. I dunno what to do now. We are separated he says he loved me always but was drunk and she offered .. No I think it’s wrong he knows it was and she is no longer my friend. What do I do should I take him back is he my soulmate still ???
    Counselling did help but dunno what to do. He still can’t be my soulmate right ??? He cheated …doesn’t matter if he was drunk or am I wrong ?

    • Hello Lizzy,

      This is another unfortunate experience being shared here in the comments section. But, it also allows me to illustrate a very important point…

      Please keep in mind that I know nothing of the details of this situation, so I cannot offer any advice or give you the answers that you need to come to for yourself. However, I can share some things from a spiritual standpoint. Being drunk is never an excuse. It’s so common to blame this behavior on being drunk that it’s cliche’, but in reality, people know what they’re doing. Being drunk is not an excuse. Not finishing the act is not an excuse. There is no excuse. It also sounds as if this so-called friend should have been “unfriended” years ago for offering such a thing in the first place, obviously she was not a friend at all. We might want to ask why she was allowed to remain as a “friend” by either of you when her behavior was so unacceptable.

      He cheated. She betrayed. Regardless of other circumstances this is still a fact. Being drunk lowers our inhibitions allowing us to act on desires that we might otherwise try to suppress, but the desire is already there to do those things. This is how alcohol is used as an excuse. Doesn’t make it valid however. A true Soul-Mate would not have that desire to cheat in the first place.

      True Soul-Mates do not cheat. Period. I feel this may answer your question. How you choose to act on this is up to you.

      Okay, now for the point. I am not commenting directly on this case, but as to this type of situation that has been shared a couple times recently on this blog. Thanks go out to all of you who have the courage to share these things.

      It’s very easy for the mind to create the thoughts and beliefs of someone being our Soul-Mate. We want to believe that our relationship is special and that it’ll last forever. This is a fundamental desire deep within us. It’s the built-in guidance from our Higher Self to attract our Soul-Mate. But here’s the thing – did you lay the proper groundwork ahead of time? Did you both actively engage in spiritual practices that allowed you to overcome the ego? How about becoming crystal clear on your spiritual path? Had you both engaged in authentic spiritual practices that would open your hearts, raise your vibrations, allow you to develop mindfulness and higher states of consciousness as you meditate to attain no-mind? Did you both train to develop a warrior’s spirit? These are all the things that need to raise both of your vibrations and consciousness to the level of awakening in order to attract, recognize, and create a true Soul-Mate relationship. It’s all too easy to fall victim to our own mental delusions about our relationship or to carelessly and mindlessly use the word Soul-Mate when we don’t have a clear and honest understanding for what it actually means.

      Without this groundwork having been accomplished, with authentic practices, not new age feel-good fluff, we’re certain to fall victim to our own mind/ego as it creates yet another false belief (delusion) to make us feel good and feel safe. The practices are extremely important and yet people are convinced by their own mind that they aren’t necessary, don’t apply to them, or that they already have this state or ability. Please be aware of this trick being played on us by our own egoic mind and understand that the only way to avoid this is to begin engaging in authentic spiritual practices. This is the path to experiencing a true Soul-Mate relationship.

      Be brave, be strong, be true to your heart. Take care my friend.

    • Hello Hurbert,

      A soul-mate relationship is centered around conscious awakening. The soul-mate experience is a conscious relationship where both people involved have attended (and continue to attain) a state of awakening.

      There are a couple factors needing to be considered here. First, anyone on psych meds is in a chemically altered state of mind. From this state, there can be no conscious awakening. The same goes for any drug that chemically alters the person’s mental state. Secondly, anyone who’s suffering from a mentally illness is unlikely to attain a state of consciousness awareness, especially if their mental illness prevents them from living in an ordinary mental state to begin with. There are many reasons why a true soul-mate relationship is so rare, this situation highlights just one of those reasons. True spiritual teachings even consider living from the mental state of the ego as a form of mental illness. To attain awakening and freedom of this illness, the ego must be allowed to die. While every human being develops the ego, it still ends up becoming a mental affliction. Freedom of ego leads to awakening, to consciousness. It’s from this state, free of ego and beyond the mind, that one find conscious awareness.

      This is a very unfortunate situation and I’d like to have a more positive response for you, but I cannot change the truth. I wish you well, my friend. I hope this helps bring you some degree of clarity.

      Take care,

      • It’s ok I understand. So with her having a mental illness (paranoid schizophrenia) she’ll never have a soulmate because her mind won’t let her consciously awaken?

        • Hello Hurbert,

          Allow me to offer a couple perspectives of this type of situation.

          1. A soul-mate experience is a two-way street. What I mean by this is that one person cannot believe to be with their soul-mate while the other person doesn’t truly feel that way at all. Likewise, both people involved need to be experiencing, or already attained, some degree of awakening. A soul-mate relationship is a “conscious” relationship requiring both people to be consciously aware. Without this, the realization of a true soul-mate (conscious) relationship cannot be known. Can a person with a mental disorder attain a higher state of consciousness? That would depend upon how severe the mental illness was, what medications they take that result in altering the chemical nature of their brain, and whether or not they can overcome that illness. I cannot make the assessment of these things, so I cannot offer an answer as definite as “never.” I would say, depending upon the severity of the problem, it’s unlikely. However, if they were to engage in authentic mindfulness practices and have the ability to achieve success with these practices, they might effectively free themselves form the mental illness. I say this only as a possibility and not medical advice.

          2. Another perspective is in regards to practice. Is this person able to engage in authentic practices, free of prescription medication side effects and influence? If not, how can they possibly be sure that they’re having a real experience and not something that results from a chemical reaction or a flawed mental state? These are the unfortunate questions that I have to pose. Attaining a state of no-mind and ultimately conscious awakening, requires that the mind be directly and clearly engaged, through a particular sequence of practices, free of chemical influences. It must be natural to be real. But, let’s look at the idea of no-mind here because this brings to light a very interesting point. The mental illness is literally an illness of the person’s mind. If they were able to go beyond the mind, into a state of no-mind, then they could essentially (theoretically) step outside of that mental illness. The illness could not exist because the mind is not present. Is this person capable of engaging these sorts of practices safely and effectively? This is yet another pertinent question. Has this person ever attempted to discipline their mind or attempt real meditation before? Are they capable of meditating? I feel that before we assume that this person could “never” attain conscious awakening, we need to address the possibilities of mindfulness and meditation. If they’re unable to successfully perform these things, then it might be an indicator that they will not attain a higher state of consciousness, there is no other way than through meditation.

          I hope this offers you some sort of direction of possibility. Best of luck to you both, my friend.


    • Hello Luis,

      Yes, it is indeed possible to have soul-mates situated in different countries – in the beginning.

      But, here’s the thing… You cannot know for certain if a person in another country is truly your soul-mate until you meet them face to face, spend time with them, and feel the connection in person. Likewise, soul-mates will not continue into a long distance relationship, they’ll feel an irresistible draw to be with one another. Long distance relationships are never long lasting and they’re not conscious relationships.

      So, if you meet someone who lives in another country and you feel this overwhelming connection to them, and if you are indeed soul-mates, you’ll no doubt find a way to be together. However, if you merely meet someone over the internet, then there’s no real valid connection that can be considered to be that of true soul-mates until it’s validated through direct personal contact.

      Best of luck.

  47. hey Robert, i sent you an email not sure if you got it.
    I really love all the signs you listed in this article, i truly believe and agree with them all.
    as a young woman in her late 20s, I find it difficult to find people that are at my level of spiritual awareness, the only people i meet that wholeheartedly agree with everything you said are usually much older than me. people often say i am an old soul and very mature for my age. young people these days dont really believe in the things you listed…alot of them put money fame career etc way before relationship/marriage.

    i don’t doubt that my soulmate is out there, but i seem to have tons of trouble finding someone that is around my age to date and share the same views.
    i have been attracting the wrong person in my life over and over again, although they are getting somewhat better, it’s still not right.
    i tend to find myself with someone that displayed some signs in the beginning showing they are not my soulmate, but i still get involved somehow, and after 1-2 years, the nagging voice deep in my soul just can’t take it anymore and i tend to break off the relationship knowing it’s not my soulmate.
    i am currently in a relationship with a person who i really thought was finally my soulmate, after 2 years together, i realized he’s not..again. i need to break it off..
    how do i break out of this cycle?
    i am focused on creating my best self and best life so i can attract the right person. but every time after a break up, i hear the same things from people saying i should be able to do better. i just wonder why do i keep attracting and getting into relationships that are far below my potential…..is it low self esteem? desperation? my overall energy?
    definitely want some help. thanks

    • Hello Rosiel,

      Yes, I did indeed receive your email. My wife (and soul-mate) and I were celebrating our wedding anniversary in Lake Tahoe so I was away from the office. I apologize for the delay in communication, but I was living what I teach – living in the moment, fully engaged, hand-in-hand with my loving soul-mate!

      I’ve responded to your email and I wanted to respond here too, as I do personally read and answer every comment and email that comes into Expansion Mastery, and I felt others in the EM audience could benefit from your great comment.

      As you know true soul-mate relationships are extremely rare in the world. Why? Two reasons – because the vast majority of people are programmed to believe a false narrative about relationships and so few ever attain any real sense of spiritual awakening. This means we must go against the herd, the mindless masses, and see for ourselves what the truth is. This is exactly what I did and it allowed me to find my soul-mate. But most cling to what they falsely believe are facts, such as the need for sacrifice and compromise in a marriage. They mindlessly accept these things as fact, but they’re not. They believe this because it’s the experience when one or both people are unconscious, unawakened, and still dominated by ego. However, when the ego has been overcome and conscious awakening has begun, these so-called “facts” are seen as foolishness and completely unnecessary. Nine years together and neither of us has ever had to sacrifice anything, make any compromise, or engage in an argument or fight. We’re not holding anything in as the unconscious suggest because there’s just nothing to be held in. Remember, I’m speaking form direct personal experience here, not speculation.

      This is why it’s so incredibly difficult to find anyone else who can feel the truth in what I share. Especially someone who is still young, such as yourself, but there are many who are beginning to awaken from the programming of the societal norm, so hang in there and stay true to yourself. Placing so much importance on things such as fame, money, etc. speaks to the ego dominated minds of the masses. Some refer to these younger people as “trendies” and they’re completely brainwashed by artificial culture being perpetuated right now. However, establishing a career before getting into a relationship can be a sensible idea. It’s not about being dependent on another in order to get into a relationship, each person must still consciously develop themselves prior to the relationship in order to be living from a place of authenticity instead of desperation for a relationship. Love yourself first, know who you are and the life you desire to live. This is the first step to attaining a conscious relationship.

      Could it be that you’re still stuck in some of these forms of programming yourself? I’m just asking. You mentioned the age difference, but is that real or conditioning? Does age really matter in regards to relationships? There is an age difference between my wife and I, and yet here we are. Is the relationship truly the core of life or is it desired out of the fear of being alone with yourself? There’s a massive difference between being alone and being lonely. I point this out as a way for you to begin freeing yourself from any accepted societal expectations and conditioning that may be remaining.

      It’s important to realize that a relationship is not the right one for you and end it before it gets started. There’s an entire section in our book covering this crucial topic. But let’s look at two points here. First, you stated that you attract the wrong type of people. This speaks to your vibrational frequency. Like attracts like. This offers you room to engage more specific spiritual practices that are truly capable of helping you to attain and hold a higher vibration. I created the Appreciation Mastery Program for just that reason. Secondly, instead of recognizing and ending the relationship, you insist on putting your head down and going blindly forward. This is very common, to mindlessly go into a relationship, knowing full well that it’s wrong, yet letting it happen anyway. Why? It’s primarily out of the fear of being alone with one’s self. But it’s also out of fear, lust, convenience, lack of self-esteem (ie – I might not find anyone better), etc. This is exactly what I allowed to happen in my first marriage, so again I speak form experience – not judgment. The key here is to be consciously aware that these people are not your soul-mates and end the relationship immediately instead of wasting years on it. This also keeps others from getting hurt. Most fluffy New Age relationship “experts” say, “Well, everyone we have a romantic relationship with is a soul-mate. This is just crap – plain and simple. It’s an ego-driven justification for mindlessly and/or desperately beginning and ending relationships and sleeping around. It’s a perspective that’s very far from anything truly spiritual. How about just getting it right from the beginning?

      As I shared in my email to you, in order to break this cycle – and good for you for recognizing that it is indeed a cycle! – you must first become comfortable with being alone with yourself and creating the life you want for yourself. (please read my free ebook on this topic) When you do this and you become self sufficient, empowered, and happy – that’s when you’ll be in a position to attract your true soul-mate.

      I hope all of this offers you the guidance you seek. I can email you the information on becoming a coaching client if you’d like. I wish you the very best.

      In Appreciation!

      • Hey robert, thanks for your long reply, I have emailed you about private coaching info details, hope you can get back soon. i really look forward to it and hope to talk to you soon!

    • Hello Jill,

      Yes, I’m happy to say the book is still happening. My wife and I are writing it now and the bulk of the book has been written. The format is a bit different than usual and it’s taking us some time to dial it in, but it will be happening. Hang in there with us, it’ll be worth it, I promise!

      In Appreciation,

  48. Dear Robert,

    Thank you for posting this. It was beautiful.

    So I was in a relationship for 15 years, 7 of which were legally married. In the last year of my marriage I met a man 10 years my senior whom I truly believe to be my soulmate. I left my marriage and have gotten divorced. He is still in his marriage … trying to work harder so it succeeds. He is wrestling with feelings of guilt and is trying all he can to save his marriage, I still believe him to be my soulmate. We have connected in a way that I believe to e deeper than most marriages. Everything you have written is true for us. Please tell me what you think.
    Thank you

    • Dear AL,

      Thanks for the great comment, and the kind words are always appreciated. I did respond to your email as well, but I wanted to reply to your comment too in order to offer even more insight and share with others who may be in a similar situation.

      The first thing is to go beyond “believing” that someone is your soul-mate. It’s all too easy for the mind to convince itself of all sorts of beliefs which possess no form of truth in reality. The mind’s tricky that way, it’s capable of forming all kinds of beliefs based around things it knows deep inside is just not true. My point here is that if you’re engaged in a true soul-mate experience, you won’t need to “believe” it, because you’ll “feel” it with every fiber of your being. Believing something means it’s based in the mind/ego, whereas feeling it comes from the heart. Often times the words we choose to describe things can be indicating the truth. You’ll have to see if you can truly feel it or not.

      I do not condone cheating in a relationship and it certainly has no place in a true soul-mate relationship. Cheating, regardless of the justification for it, is a low vibrational act that is not indicative of a soul-mate relationship. Infatuation and lust do not make a conscious relationship. The age difference part has little to do with it, as long as it’s within reason. We’re dealing with eternal souls in this type of relationship, not physical age.

      If he is feeling guilty, than that says something doesn’t it? Guilt is one of the very lowest vibrational frequencies and a conscious relationship, that of soul-mates, requires both parties to be in a state of high vibration. If he is trying to make his marriage succeed, then the question that must be asked is… why? I cannot say, because I don’t have that information, but this situation is typical of a man who feels the need to cheat on his wife while staying in the marriage. It’s a common scenario and as we know, soul-mate relationships are not at all common. It seems as though he’s made his choice clear here.

      I’ll end with this… You claim that everything I’ve written is true for you both, but I feel you’re mistaken. If you review what I wrote, and look honestly at the material, you’ll see that the insights I’ve shared here regarding the situation you’ve described, are in contrast to much of what I wrote. It’s easy to believe what we want – it’s far more difficult (and rare) to experience truth.

      I wish you both all the best and I hope that you do find yourself in a soul-mate relationship one day. Take care.

      In Appreciation,

  49. I have met a man through an infidelity site which has caused me pause. Both of us are in our 40’s and have felt with divorce following betrayal of our long term spouses. There are thousands of members on this site, but for some random reason, we started messaging each other, and couldn’t stop. In retrospect, it felt as if it were fate that brought us together… and our initial conversations were not centered around infidelity, but of a sexual nature… which is out of character for me, and (I am female) I initiated it.
    It quickly progressed to talking on the phone, and within 4 months we arranged to meet. Spent a weekend together and it was amazing. We live several states apart. Both of us have children, and cannot/will not move. Although any kind of committed relationship has not been discussed. It was agreed from the start that we would be “fwb” and not hold each other back from our new freedom…

    But the connection is deep. Profound. Indescribable. I was so taken back by it I had an astrology reading done on us which also placed us as a fated relationship.

    To look at us, we are unique… both attractive, but I am conservative from middle upper class, and he, tough bad boy leather wearing look… but I must add, a complete sweetheart. I believe the early talking before pictures solidified what was on the inside of both of us, and I told him I liked him no matter how he looked… we are truly however extremely attracted to eachother ohysically.

    With the divorces, there has been much drama with our families, and I can feel his pain at a deep level from hundreds of miles away. It is unnerving, yet feels right.

    We have been careful, as I’ve said before, not to put restrictions on eachother, but have wound up restricting ourselves by choice.

    I don’t know how long this can go on, and I hate to think it could end and hurt him. So for now, we just are living in the moment. And planning a once a month weekend together until it doesn’t work anymore…

    If I could describe soul mate attraction, it would be this. And now, I cannot imagine finding another who could make me feel as at ease and safe as he does.


    • Hello Campbellmom2,

      As it turns out, I may have some thoughts on your comment, thanks very much for leaving it. I always appreciate everyone’s comments and questions as they allow all of us here to gain new insights. As always, please understand that I am not giving relationship advice, and all decisions and actions you take regarding it need to be your own.

      Alright, let’s break this down from the beginning… You met a man on an “infidelity website.” This is the first red flag. Well, more than one really. The first is meeting someone online. You’re unable to feel their vibration or have any type of real heart connection through the virtual reality of the internet. Two people hidden away behind screens and simply talking or typing is not a great way to begin a relationship, from a conscious relationship perspective. Meeting in person allows you to look into their eyes, get a feel for them, and see if there’s indeed a heart connection. Let’s look too at the type of website – “infidelity.” When we look at this vibrationally, it tells us a lot doesn’t it? First, this is a low vibration topic and a place for people of like low vibrations to come together. We must remember that a conscious relationship requires that both people involved be in a place of high vibration. This seems to be a place for those holding onto the low vibration victim mentality to virtually gather and, just as in group therapy, strengthen that which they are meeting around. According to the laws of vibration, you are then engaging in attracting more infidelity into your life experience. It’s best to be in a space where you are not clinging to this thing that happened to you, and neither are they. It would be best to meet under more positive circumstances in the real world.

      You initiated the sexual advance. Okay, this is fine, but just because it’s out of character for you doens’t make it something profound. Look at the root of the action – it was based on lust, not love. Lust and love are two very different things and carry very different vibrational frequencies. I also feel that fact that neither of you is willing to move for the other pretty much says it all. There was nothing that would keep me from being with my wife. I hope these points provide you with some interesting food for thought.

      I feel too, that you were most likely misguided by this “astrology reader” and maybe you should ask for a refund. But, this is the problem with new age fluff, they’re in the business of telling you what you want to hear in order to make you happy. Unfortunately it doesn’t always matter if it’s true or not. Although to be fair, a “fated relationship” is something very, very different than a soul-mate relationship, so if they used that term, it may be an error in your perception.

      I feel that I cannot agree with your description of a soul-mate relationship here. From my experience with this subject and living it now for nearly 10 years, the situation you’re in is not a conscious relationship. I wish I could say some thing more positive, but I must be honest with you, you deserve that. I feel for you and I hope one day that you’ll find a true soul-mate relationship. In the meantime, what authentic mental and spiritual practices have you been consistently engaged in? This is the first step to attracting your soul-amte, not looking online. Love yourself and your life and then you’ll attract someone special to share in that.

      Take care. In appreciation.

    • Thank you Campbellmom2!

      Thank you for the very kind words you offered as well. I’d like to share them here, but I’ve left out all of your personal info. I have not edited your email in any way, it’s in its original form.

      comment: Sir

      I just want to say that I just stumbled on your site, searching for information on soul-mate relationships, and since have read your piece on authenticity and am enthralled! Such great insights I am looking forward to reading more… I posted a comment on the soul-mate article and afterward had many more thoughts on the relationship I described.. as an older woman having escaped an abusive 22 year marriage with a narcissistic husband, I am searching for my own authenticity and hope to find it in others. I refuse to waste time in relationships of any sort where people have alterior motives. Life is short, and there are so many good people of all walks of life that are worth knowing and spending time with.

      Thank you for sharing your knowledge, it is so encouraging and thought provoking.

      – Campbellmom2, I agree with you, life is short and there are so many awesome people of all walks of life out there. We need to move past all the silliness of political correctness and simply treat one another with respect and compassion. It’s only difficult to do so when the ego is involved. Without ego, we can unit as one people and live in harmony, love, and respect with one another. Everyone is worth knowing and everyone is unique, that’s what makes everyone so cool!

      I would add just one thing however – you cannot find your own authenticity through others. It can only be found within yourself, by yourself.

      In appreciaiton,

  50. May I suggest an addition? “You never feel alone.”
    I have noticed one of the main reasons couples split is when one or the other feels alone – even in the same room. Why would someone remain in a relationship when they feel lonely? I believe this feeling develops from feelings of misunderstanding, or simply a lack of attention. Independence is obviously better than co-dependence but frequent mental, verbal, and tactile connections keep a good couple together more than any other aspect in a relationship.

    • Hello Richard,

      Thank you for your addition.

      I agree, when you’re in a conscious relationship you never feel alone. You actually feel more complete than you’ve ever known. It isn’t that you’re dependent upon the other person, it’s much deeper than that. The other in a relationship doesn’t allow you to find your authenticity, you must come to know that within yourself. But, with a Soul-Mate relationship, when the two halves of the same soul unite, then there is a deep sense of completeness.

      We always encourage people to be comfortable with themselves first. This means never feeling lonely because you’re by yourself. In this way, even in a relationship, you never feel alone either. But, the mental, verbal, and physical connection is very important in a conscious relationship and it’s a natural part of the connection you have together. If there’s no desire for such things, this may indicate a problem in the relationship.

      Thanks for the additional input, and Happy Thanksgiving to you, my friend!

      • Hi Robert,

        Great post. I found my soulmate. She is basically me in a female body-I fell in love with her before I even liked myself. We have literally had the same lives suffering all sorts of abuse at almost the same ages too. As a result of this we both have feelings of a lack of self esteem. Currently we are not together-we both are worried that we are not good enough for the other. She triggered my fears subconsciously and I have triggered hers. When we both let our guards down and talk from the heart it’s as if we are reading each other’s thoughts-same phrases, completely compatible sexually and emotionally. We want the same things from life.
        I find it hard to trust my heart as does she-my depression and OCD clouds my feelings and I struggle with doubts. It’s as if we both couldn’t believe that we felt the same-it was too much for us to take, we’re not used to being happy and good things happening/lasting. When I am able to tap into my heart I know she is the one. I hope that this time apart allows us to address our issues. The only time we seem to struggle is when we are both afraid to say what is on our minds/in our hearts. We know each other so well that we can tell that when we aren’t being fully authentic with one another and this breaks the connection. This is the result of past baggage/relationships.
        She’s my lover, best friend and teacher all rolled into one-unfortunately it seems like some lessons I/we can only process in her/my absence.

        • Hi Robert,

          Do you believe it’s possible to meet whilst you’re both in a low vibration and then go your separate ways whilst you gain other experiences which raise your vibrational level and then re-unite? In those lower vibrational levels you may not recognise each other until you achieve higher vibrational levels? Do you share almost identical life experiences?
          Also how do you learn to accept yourself and forgive yourself for past mistakes-if you can’t accept yourself then you’re going to struggle to accept your soulmate as they are you.

          • Hello Peter,

            Wow, many outstanding questions, I’m sure everyone will benefit from them. Thank you.

            Okay, yes, it’s possible to meet while you’re both in a place of low vibration. Can you share a soul-mate experience from that place? No. But, you can certainly meet and feel drawn toward one another. Then, if you should separate and both successfully work on your own personal self-improvement issues and raise you’re vibration, you could be drawn back together if it was truly a meeting of soul-mates. So, my answer would be yes, under the right conditions, this is completely possible.

            Do my wonderful wife and I share identical life experiences? No. There are some things that are very similar, but not identical. Most people (wrongly) believe that soul-Mates are drawn together from past adversity, (ie-both sharing the same type of abuse, etc.) but I disagree whole heartedly. It isn’t the “identical life experiences” before you came together that creates the basis for Soul-Mates, but having identical spiritual foundations, interests, life goals, etc. This creates the raised vibration that is in alignment with one another that allows for like attracts like. These are positive things, which are high vibration, and past experiences can be focused on negative experiences which are low vibration. Soul-Mates are not attracted through low vibrational life experiences. This is not to say that you can’t have similar or even the same previous life experiences, it’s just that the union isn’t based upon that.

            You do indeed need to accept yourself before you can enter into a Soul-Mate relationship. This is why I stress to get yourself right first and then you’re more likely to attract your Soul-Mate. There are many effective meditative practices for helping you to better accept yourself and develop a true sense of ego-less self-love. It’s generally the ego that cannot get over making past mistakes. The key is to free yourself of the ego, which is one of the prerequisites I speak of, and then realize that everyone makes mistakes. Of course, I don’t know the scope of the mistake in reference here. Mistakes in life are natural, they’re learning opportunities, the key question is, “did you truly learn from them?” If not, you’ll certainly repeat them. I made sure that I learned from my past mistakes and consciously and authentically went into this relationship knowing I would not allow those same mistakes. I learned some very valuable lessons that helped prepare me for a Soul-Mate relationship. Even though I had no idea at the time. But, I couldn’t have this relationship today if I hadn’t learned those lessons. This is an important step in forgiving and accepting yourself.

            I trust this helps. Thanks again for the great questions. I wish you all the best.

        • Hello Peter,

          My best suggestion would be to remain apart and both of you work on yourselves. I know this doesn’t sound like the most attractive idea, but it’s essential that you both take the time to address the “baggage/relationships you have and get all of that cleared up before reuniting. Hey, if it were easy, everyone would be in a Soul-Mate relationship, right? The more intensely you strive to overcome personal issues and raise your vibrations, the sooner you’ll find yourselves back together -if you were truly Soul-Mates.

          I highly recommend addressing and overcoming the OCD and depression as best as you can, as these sorts of things are obstacles to a Soul-Mate relationship. That may come off a bit harsh, but I don’t make the rules, I just share them. I had things to overcome as well and in so doing, I attracted my Soul-Mate and didn’t even realize it at the time. I would recommend that she addresses any issues she may be struggling with as well. If you are truly Soul-Mates, and you both overcome these issues and raise your vibration, then you’ll be drawn together like never before. It’ll be the most powerful thing you’ve even felt. It sounds as though you may have the foundation of something great – time and a higher vibration will tell.

          Please remember that none of this is relationship, medical, or mental health advice.

          All the best, my friend! Take care.

          • Hi Robert,

            Thanks for your answers. They make sense. I am doing my best to address the depression and OCD-mindfulness has been suggested for both but I have to say that I find it very difficult to put into practice. I’m trying to face the fears and believe that the depression is the result of bottling up emotional baggage etc. It’s funny how you say it’s not our past experiences which are the reason for soulmates getting together-it seems to be that we’ve separated/been pushed apart whilst we face our past as individuals. We don’t really have a choice except to give each other space-we know each other too well to try to interact with each other from a low vibration.

            I’ve ordered your book so hopefully that will give me some ideas about practices that I can implement to start living from the heart and quieten/eradicate the fear in my mind.

            Out of interest what are your thoughts about people who remain single? Do they not have soulmates?

          • Hello again, Peter!

            Thank you so much for ordering my book! I’ll be autographing it today and it should get shipped tomorrow.

            Putting the changes into practice is always the most challenging aspect of making real, lasting progress in ourselves, and in anything that requires change for that matter. The most important thing is to begin taking action, even if they’re relatively small actions at first, at least it’s generating forward momentum. The big secret to success is consistency. Be patient and gentle with yourselves and just keep at it – the changes you seek will follow. It sounds as though you’re both tuned into some sensible ideas, such as knowing to remain apart until you both make positive growth changes and raise your vibrations. I feel this speaks well to your chances of success. Be ready to come together completely, without baggage, so you can walk the relationship path unencumbered, with nothing between you but love.

            I provide many “challenges” – or practices – in my book that I feel will be very beneficial to you. These should help you to create a foundation for positive change. For more in depth practices, you can check into the Appreciation Mastery Program – it’s perfect for developing mindfulness, opening the heart, and raising the vibration to very high levels (as long as you follow the program). I might suggest sharing my book with the other person when you’re finished, send it to her, just as a way of staying on the same page and growing together even though you’re apart. Just a suggestion.

            Do single people have Soul-Mates? Yes, of course. It doesn’t mean everyone is forced into a relationship however. We have the right to choose whether to not to act upon it. In its base urge, it’s part of the natural instinct for any species to reproduce and keep that species from extinction. Nothing spiritual about this aspect. However, most, if not all, have a deep sense of longing for a healthy, happy, deeply meaningful relationship with someone special. This goes far beyond the base animalistic urge to reproduce – this is about love. This is the signal from our essence (soul) to seek out (attract) its other half in order to experience completeness or oneness while in physical form. We’re free to ignore this impulse if we like. In such cases, it’s possible for both individuals to never come together and yet still accomplish some degree of spiritual expansion, but they’ll never know the spiritual fulfillment, level of expansion, and completeness that accompanies the union of a Soul-Mates relationship. This is a highly spiritual endeavor that few in the world ever seem to attain. My wife and I have teamed up to write the definitive manual on this type of experience, it will be released this year.

            Take care my friend and enjoy the book!

  51. Robert I just read your wonderful blog. I am married but not to my soul mate. My soul mate walked into my life almost a year ago. We instantly connected on a level that I tried desperately to deny because he is 25yrs my junior. We spent almost every possible waking minute together just being and doing whatever. He being young sought advice from me even bringing some of his multiple partners around me. I never felt jealous or even concerned because he always held me in higher regard than them. Our relationship never became physically intimate but it appeared to everyone around us that it had. Those that thought that forced us apart. We have not communicated in months. I have sent him short simple messages which he instantly reads but doesn’t reply. That is until now. I am certain he feels our connection but doesn’t know what it is. Do I tell him or should I tell him? If so how do I do that?

    • Dear Casey,

      Based upon the limited information you’ve provided, I have to admit that a few concerns. I’ll provide my thoughts on them for your to consider.

      First, in my opinion, you need to take care of your current marriage before pursuing anyone. If it’s finished, then end it. A soul-mate relationship is not built upon cheating. If you’re already separated and things have ended, then that’s a productive first step, finish it out and free yourself in order to be in a position of non-attachment which will open you to attracting your soul-mate.

      If he has “multiple partners” then this is a clear indication that this is not a soul-mate situation. Jealousy has nothing to do with it. Soul-mates are the one and only, not the one with a few others on the side. Not being “jealous or concerned because he holds you in higher regard” speaks more of the ego than of essence. Soul-mates desire to be with one another and no one else. Likewise, soul-mates won’t allow the interferences of others to keep them apart.

      It is not for me to tell you what you should or should not do here, but you shouldn’t need to tell him you’re soul-mates, he should know it as well. If he doesn’t then you most likely are not. Age has nothing to do with the ability to determine that a very special relationship has been sparked. This sort of love is never one sided.

      If you are actually soul-mates, he’ll not be able to live without you and contact you stating as much. In the meantime, I’d recommend re-reading the article I wrote on this topic and finding the areas that you could be working on in order to attract him into your life once again, provided he is your soul-mate. In addition, see how these concerns play themselves out, this will tell you a great deal.

      I wish you all the best. Take care.

  52. Dear Robert,
    Im so glad to find this information, it is amazing that you care and respond our posts, so id like to share my story, ive been married for 12 years now, all this time i always dont feel connected to my husband, although he is such a good person, and good father to our only son too, everyday i spent with him feel very exhausted, i am like someone living in the over dried sahara, yelling for a home to return, all this time, there is a guy who is always there, his only sister is married to my brother, ive known him since 13 years, he is five year younger than i am,
    at first i dont really pay attention that my heart vibrate so crazy everytime he is around, and i dont dare looking at his eyes, because i am shaking without i ever want it, i didnt see him often, only occasionally, i think he feel the same too, sometime when i linger around him a bit longer, we would talk, and any psychologist would say i am so atracted to him, and him to me,
    I didnt realize until recently, a tragic event in our family that brought sadness scattered his only sister who is very close to me too, he came to seek my advices, we talk for hours with tears and sadness and time passes i think he and i just didnt want to leave, and i suddenly realize that around him the aura is so different, it is like the lights and shine brights the room, i recall the days when i didnt pay attention about it, i just found that my feeling to him is magnetic and magical, lt is like i feel complete and home, i seek for photos of our family together, and recalled everything i went through when he was around, the feeling i never had with my husband, it is so deep and intense.
    But the sad part is that i am married, and he is not, i know when we met i look at his eyes, and i know that he yearn for me, i want to reach his hand, telling him that i care, but we just dont talk about our feeling, we pretend to act like casual family interaction, he is not kind of guy who will act nasty, and i dont seduce him either, i just can hear him in my head, and the silence between us tasted like heaven, but i can not betray my husband, what do you think Robert?

    • Hello Ann,

      Well, first please understand that I do not give relationship advice, I only share information based upon my own soul-mate relationship. I hope what I share helps guide you, but ultimately, all decisions are yours to make. The thing I see in this case is the fact that you’re in an unhappy marriage. Generally speaking, in order for someone to be in a position to attract their soul-mate, they must be holding a high vibration and an open heart, while having overcome their ego. When we’re in an unhappy marriage, our heart is closed down and because of this, our vibration is lower too. Remaining in an unhappy marriage is not the way to live in our authenticity. I share this from my own personal experience. In my case, I removed myself from an unhappy, toxic relationship and spent time alone raising my vibration, reconnecting to my sense of authenticity, overcoming my ego, and opening my heart. It was only then that I was able to attract my soul-mate. People ignore the part of overcoming their ego, because it requires actually engaging in an authentic practice to attain this state, but when we are of ego we’re detached from our essence, and when we’re of ego dominated mind, we cannot know a soul-mate relationship at all. This is an important point.

      Remember that a soul-mate relationship is based upon being connected to our true self (higher self, consciousness, etc.), being in a high vibrational state, holding an open heart, having overcome the ego, and living authentically. Both people involved must be in this state of being. Be cautious that this is not merely an infatuation due to your unhappiness in your current relationship. You may consider being honest with your husband about your feelings and decide how best to handle this situation before focusing too much upon another. I appreciate that you’re not jumping into an affair while married, that’s a very good statement of your quality as a person, however, longing for another is still an unfortunate state of being unhappy and both of you deserve to be happy in your romantic relationship. I know I’d be crushed to know my wife was longing for another man while remaining married to me, it may not be the physical act, but it’s still a form of emotional unfaithfulness, if you think about it. No one can be happy in the relationship when this is the case.

      I wish you all the best in your search for your soul-mate. I hope this offers you some form of direction, or at least a few things to ponder. Good luck and take care.

      In Appreciation,
      ~ Robert

      • Thank you so much Robert for replying my email and elaborating something i never realize before, you are correct that when we are being unhappy, we let our ego dominates us, and fail to see the real situation. I agree with you that in this case, i need to be alone, bringing back my authentic self, while hoping one day i will be able to solve this weird situation between me and my husband, wishing us both an happy ending.
        Thank you Robert, have bright and blessing years for the rest of your lovely life.


  53. Hello, I read your blog and just wanted to know if there is such thing as “Spiritual Soulmates” or “Twin Flames”? Let say for example, I meet someone through social media like Facebook yet haven’t met in person yet. Then strange things happen in regards to this person like having many dreams about them pointing towards something more with them. There are messages, possible metaphors and signals in all of these dreams. Sometimes out of nowhere you get this pulsating feelings in your chest and it makes you feel nervous because you maybe actually feeling that persons feelings without realizing it and you’re thousands of miles away from each other. Does any of these examples qualify for the types of soulmates I just mentioned? Have you ever known someone or anyone to have gone through something like this?

    • Greetings Cherice,

      From my own personal experience, there is no difference in a soul-mate or “spiritual soul-mate,” they’re the same thing. A soul-mate is just that, the other half of your soul (or spirit), and thereby the other half of you physically, mentally, and spiritually. Literally, in every way. Some prefer the term “twin flame” and this is fine, but I find soul-mate to be far more descriptively correct. Is a twin flame some other category of soul-mate? No, there is only one form of soul-mate, not an array of categories, that’s just new age fluff to push personal agendas and sell products. Nature is just not that complicated, but the ordinary ego-dominated human mind certainly is.

      I’ll share my current level of understanding about what you’ve shared here… Dreams are nothing more than the unconscious mind processing stored thoughts, beliefs, and images – nothing to do with signs or deeper meaning. However, if you’re capable of remaining consciously aware during your dreams, which really only happens after being trained to do so, then you can focus on certain topics and allow your consciousness (higher self) present you with information and ideas as you sleep. Which you’re experiencing is up to you to determine as I know nothing of your training or abilities.

      Can you realize someone’s your soul-mate through the internet, via social media? I’ve answered this question several times before and since that time I’ve experienced my understanding to be even more powerfully truthful than I first realized. The answer, beyond any doubt, is no. Sorry, but you absolutely cannot find your soul-mate via social media. All too often, people are not acting as their actual authentic self when online. Besides that, the heart needs to sync with the heart resonance of another for the soul-mate connection to be made, and this needs to happen face-to-face. You must be able to “feel” the other person and this has to happen through personal face-to-face interaction. I recommend that people get out in the world and get off social media, as there’s no other way to meet your soul-mate. Unfortunately, technology is taking us further away from such things as a true soul-mate experience and real spiritual experiences. I wish you all the best in finding your soul-mate.

      Take care,
      ~ Robert

  54. Hi Robert…what an eye opening article you’ve written there. Im currently dating someone who our connection is exactly like the way you’ve described. He is an amazing soul. He is staying in another country and we don’t see each other so often due to his debts. He is owing about 200000k, I’m currently not working and i can’t assist him although if he does come to visit i manage to spoil him. The only obstacle here is money and he even had to sell his car. He says he wants to marry me but my family and friends are saying he’ll be marrying me for his debt as i’ll be working soon. Can you please advise me. I sometimes take about 4 months without seeing him but the connection when we meet is still fire cracks. Is he really the one for me or am i lying to myself?

    • Good morning!

      Thank you for this great and very important question. I’d like to begin by saying that I’m thrilled that you found someone who may be your soul-mate, it’s truly a heavenly relationship.

      Obviously this money situation is point of uncertainty and possibly contention, so let’s walk through it a bit in the hopes of offering you some clarity and direction. Your family and friends are just concerned about you and mean well, it’s such a wonderful thing to have people who love and care for you in your life. They may be capable of seeing something you can’t because they’re not as deeply attached to the situation as you are. Just something to possibly consider. I cannot say whether they’re right or not, but men have been known for doing such things to unsuspecting women.

      I don’t give relationship advice, but my feeling regarding such as situation is this… It appears to me that there’s a very simple solution here – if both of you were to take care of your own debt, you pay yours and he pays his, then all obstacles would be removed. Perhaps you could encourage him to take care of his own debt so you can be together, because if he is truly your soul-mate he’d do anything to be with you, he’ll find a way to pay off this debt. I would not get too involved until this has been taken care of. If he is unwilling to do this, or gets upset upon you suggesting it, then it may indicate his intentions are not honorable. Likewise, you should take care of any of your own debt, just so this is off the table, clearing the way for the relationship to develop further without any looming concern or doubt.

      If both of you take care of your own debt, and I do not recommend paying for his or getting stuck with it, then this obstacle is no longer an issue and you can move forward. A real man would not want to drag the woman he loves more than anything in the world into such a situation, plus he should be capable of handling his own finances. Debt like this causes our vibration to lower and we know that a soul-mate relationship requires both parties to have high vibrations. Debt can be a dark cloud over our heads that is best cleared away so it doesn’t cause problems in the relationship. If he were to pay off what he owes, it would lift a weight from his shoulders and allow his vibration to rise. At the same time, he’d be improving himself to be worthy of a relationship with you. I wouldn’t be too hasty in this situation. I know it can be difficult to control our emotions when we’re in love, but take things slow and be wise. If you are soul-mates, then this will intensify the love you have for one another and the desire to be together, as well as act as encouragement for him to get things right in order to be together. If he gets upset or angry at this, then he’s not really your soul-mate. If he truly loves you, he’ll understand and agree with you, and then spring into action to rectify his situation.

      I hope you’re both able to get your financial affairs in order and that he proves to be your soul-mate. That would be incredible. I’ll be cheering you on! I wish you all the best, take care.


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