Expansion Express – 10 Ways To Know You’re With Your Soul-Mate

Hey everyone! Robert here!

I always receive quite a bit of fantastic feedback regarding the “Soul-Mate” topic and that got me thinking of additional ways I may be of service to others in this area. I came up with an idea: how about “10 ways to tell if you have found your Soul-Mate?” I thought this may prove to be a helpful guideline in establishing your relationship with that special person who is a divinely “perfect” match for you. Yes, I believe they exist, mostly because I have managed to find mine. Yes, I believe you are out there waiting to find one another. Yes, I believe you can do it. I am not a so-called relationship expert, nor am I a therapist (thankfully, on both counts). I am however, an Expansion expert, and I am going to speak on the topic of Soul-Mates from that spiritual perspective as well as my own experience. I am not sharing theory here, instead, I am sharing actual honest experience from my own life and the honest observations I make of those around me. As always, the greatest truth is already known in your own heart. Your challenge is to learn to listen to it, feel it, follow it, and act accordingly.

CAUTION: This post is going to contain deep truths that will go against the grain of many social beliefs. (But then, just how many people in the herd are with their Soul-Mates?) These concepts may cause you to reflect upon yourself and your relationship. They may cause an awakening regarding your current relationship as well as a potential one that is just beginning to take shape. They may cause you to make changes. I am not going to pile on the fluffy, feel-good, empty content regarding this topic which is typical in the spiritual realm. Instead, I am going to give you some practical information you can apply to yourself and your life right now. YOU are solely responsible for your relationship and whatever choices you make regarding it. I am going to describe these topics with a sense of raw honesty; I hope you can appreciate it. Some of them will require great courage to face and accept as truth. I struggled with accepting this before my transformational process too, so I know how you feel. Some of these ideas may require working on yourself before you can share them with another. Open your mind and your heart and feel for yourself if what I say makes sense.

NOTICE: I am not an advocate of divorce. I have gone through it in order to correct my life situation, but it is an experience better left un-had. I am an advocate of taking your relationship seriously and entering into it with a sense of mindfulness and level of consciousness that allows you to make decisions with your authentic voice and presence. Your romantic relationship is the most important one in your life – act responsibly. Please keep in mind that this post is not simply about relationships, but about the relationship with your Soul-Mate; they are very different things.

I have come to know my Soul-Mate. I do not make that statement lightly, but I can make it with complete certainty. It is difficult to explain in a way that is easy to share, but I will attempt to share examples with you from my own life experience to assist me in shedding light on these insights. I hope that if you are already in a relationship, you can read each one of these and feel confident that they are honestly part of your experience too. If not, then you may have some things to think about.

1. Your Soul-Mate will have the same spiritual foundation that you do. This is always the first and most important insight I offer in regards to any relationship, but it is essential for a Soul-Mate. There will be no need for either of you to make changes to your own personal spiritual beliefs or practices. Each of you may bring something new to your practices from your own individual experiences, but the greater spiritual system with be the same. There is never any need for someone to be forced into “converting” into the other’s beliefs. The act of converting someone is an attempt to force them into being someone they are not for the gain of an establishment. Obviously, the establishment itself does not care about the well-being and honesty of the person involved, only that they increase their number of followers. Forcing anything is unnatural and shows that it is not meant to be. You will have the same spiritual ideas, basic practices and desires toward future growth. Soul-Mates walk the same spiritual path prior to the relationship as well as throughout it.

2. Your Soul-Mate will be the feminine or masculine version of yourself. In relationships, they often refer to your significant other as “your other half.” Using the phrase “your better half” is a poor version of this phrase – the underlying idea is that you are both equal. This is not merely a mindless statement to refer to your significant other, it is based in deep truth. Your Soul-Mate will be your “other half;” the other half of your soul. This is why we feel as though they have “completed us” when we find them. If you are a woman, then this man will be the masculine version of you. If you are a man, then this woman will be a feminine version of yourself. You will not be opposites, you will compliment each other so well, in every way, that it will be as though you are two halves of the same person. Indeed, you truly are. When the two halves of a soul find each other and come together, it is an amazingly powerful, divine experience that leaves no room for doubt that Soul-Mates exist. Soul-Mates vibrate at the same frequency and continue to raise their vibrations during the relationship.

3. There will be no compromise or sacrifice in the relationship. There will simply be no need for those things. Anyone stressing that there is, has never known their Soul-Mate. You will simply be who you are and do what is natural for you, and you will fit together with the other person as though it was meant to be. Because it was. When you are with your Soul-Mate there will never be a need to make sacrifices or compromises. You will be completely on the same page in all areas of your relationship and lives. This may be difficult to believe but it is certainly true. Remember that compromising means that someone is giving up a part of themselves and that does not allow them to live from a place of authenticity. Soul-Mates support each others authenticity and strive to allow each other to be who they are. Instead of compromise and sacrifice, you will experience a mutual sense of respect and desire to support each other’s growth. You cannot be happy when you are constantly making sacrifices and a relationship with your Soul-Mate will support an extremely blissful state of joy for you both.

4. The exciting, smouldering fire of love and passion you have for each other will not fade with time. Most people believe that its normal to become bored or complacent with your significant other. I disagree whole-heartedly. I often hear people say that the “magic” is gone after 7 years, or 3 years, or 2 months, or even a few weeks. Is it just me? Doesn’t anyone else see this as a huge red flag? Be willing to take a hard honest look at your relationship; realize the truth that if you feel this way toward the other person then they are obviously not your Soul-Mate. It has been about 5 years and I have felt my love become deeper and more intense with each passing day. The flame is not going out, it is becoming more intense, burning brighter and hotter than ever. You will also have what I call “spiritual love-making.” This is the deepest, intimate act that goes far beyond sexual gratification. Before, during, and after the act of love-making itself, you will feel deeply connected through your eyes, hearts, and bodies, and the union will be a divine connection that will expose the oneness of your souls. As your bodies unite, your hearts will open fully and you will feel your souls merge into one another as you lose yourself in them and them in you. This is a level of bliss that is a gift to mankind and can never be known through casual intercourse.

5. The relationship will be harmonious, even years later. There will be no “working at it” involved in a Soul-Mate relationship. That’s right. The belief that a relationship takes hard work is a myth. It is not true. The necessity of working at it is forcing something, that is not meant to be. Human beings must come to understand this if there is ever any hope of people finding their Soul-Mate. In the past 5 years, there has not been a single moment of working at it in my relationship. In research I’ve done, I have come to understand that this myth is often perpetuated by religious institutions in order to keep families together so as not to lose church members. Therapists often spread this myth as that’s what they were taught to do, and it gives them some form of measuring success and failure. The truth of a Soul-Mate relationship is that there will be no need to work at it, it will be naturally harmonious. Step outside of the belief of having to work at a relationship and know that its okay to expect a smooth, enjoyable romantic experience. Having to work at it is resistance to what is and merely an acceptable term for forcing something that is not supposed to be.

Even after many years into our relationship, we still hold hands, embrace and are affectionate. Our friends all convey to us that they find our relationship inspirational and desire the same for themselves. I never take this for granted, I embrace every time that I get to feel her hand in mine or feel her arms wrap around me tightly when we kiss. I love to envelop her in my arms and have her reach out for my hand whenever we are walking. Saying, “I love you” is commonplace and heartfelt every single time it is uttered. When we are relaxing on the sofa in the evening she still sprawls out, lying across me and I would have it no other way. These things should not fade with time, they should become stronger and more meaningful as the years slip by. Sitting in your own chair or at opposite ends of the sofa may be letting you know that you don’t want to interact with the other person. Having separate beds is definitely telling you something along those same lines. Unconscious body language is very telling. Soul-Mates do not become complacent over time, nor do they become irritated by one another. This type of relationship naturally holds a magic that never requires hard work.

6. There will be a mutually harmonious state of getting along. There will be absolutely no arguing, yelling, name-calling, slamming doors, throwing things, fighting or other form of physical, mental or emotional abuse. How can anyone fool themselves into thinking this type of relationship is acceptable, normal, or remotely healthy? Even when they know it isn’t right, they remain in the relationship for convenience, out of fear, because of social expectations, or for the sake of the kids. You cannot find your Soul-Mate while locked in the wrong relationship. This behavior is one of the clearest signs of all that the person is not your Soul-Mate. When you are with your Soul-Mate, you could never conceive of thinking, saying, or doing anything that would cause them even a moment of discomfort.

A Soul-Mate relationship is a mutually uplifting, respectful, and supportive one with admiration for each other’s strengths and no desire to hold them back in any way. An abusive relationship usually contains someone who looses control of their emotions and lashes out irrationally at the other. Misery loves company, and abusive behavior is an indicator of personal flaws as well as unconsciously acting out because they are unhappy in the relationship. This type of relationship is unhealthy and toxic. We are also programmed to believe that “letting off steam” is healthy in a relationship. I say that they could not be more wrong. If you are with your Soul-Mate there is no need to vent because there is simply nothing to vent about. You are not holding anything in because there is nothing to be held in. This may be hard to accept, but it is the truth. Likewise, you never take it out on them when you are angry or frustrated with someone else. That is another myth that claims it’s alright to take out your frustrations on the one closest to you. This is terribly wrong! When you are with your Soul-Mate, you will find that you want to do things to make them happy and their happiness is always placed above your own. You have no desire to take out anything on them; indeed, you wouldn’t dream of behaving in such a way. I would joyfully lay down my life for my Soul-Mate at any moment without the slightest hesitation. I would never consider spouting off at her because I was frustrated by someone else. Soul-Mates do NOT abuse one another in any manner.

7. You will find that there is no desire for time apart. Separate vacations, separate nights out on the town, just a general need to have your own time away from your significant other. These too, are the red flag warning signs of an unhealthy relationship that is being forced. They are certainly not the signs of being with your Soul-Mate. Apply even a small amount of common sense to this topic. If you desire or need to spend time apart, isn’t that telling you something? This doesn’t mean that you spend every single waking moment together, but there should be no desire to be apart. Alone time is healthy for every individual. It should, however, be just that – time spent with yourself. Most people are so uncomfortable with themselves that they need to constantly be surrounded by others or on the phone with them. It is still natural to spend some time with your friends or family, but you may notice yourself wishing the other person was with you, sharing your experience. If you are looking for ways to escape from the other person, then it’s obvious they are not your Soul-Mate. You should enjoy doing things with your Soul-Mate above all others, even your best friend, as they should be your very best friend.

I find the philosophy of – excuse me for saying this – “bros before hos” to be an extremely juvenile one meant to serve the male ego while degrading women. As a man, there is no one I place above my Soul-Mate. While I truly value my friendships and family relationships, I feel that the relationship with my Soul-Mate is the my highest priority. Soul-Mate relationships have no use for “work-spouses” or “online relationships” or the awful term I recently saw on MSN.com, “flirtationships.” None of this foolishness is necessary when you are with your Soul-Mate. The need for these types of things clearly shows that you are still searching for that special person.

8. Faithfulness, honesty and respect will flourish in a Soul-Mate relationship.These are highly desirable qualities of anyone with a high vibration that is seeking their Soul-Mate. You will be unable to find your Soul-Mate until you have raised your vibration to the level that will attract them to you. This is why so many “rebound relationships” fail: the person has not taken sufficient time to improve themselves. Dr. Wayne Dyer (who I admire greatly) is not just writing all those self-improvement books for his health – he is writing them for ours! At the end of one relationship, I began to put together and actively practice a process that allowed me to work on correcting many major flaws in myself that resulted in raising my vibration to all new heights. Now, you may be asking; if you did that before would your prior relationship have worked out? The answer is absolutely not. I found that by becoming a better person and raising my vibration, it carried me further away from the initial relationship. The transformational process I undertook became known as the Expansion Mastery System and it allowed me to bypass all the rebound relationships and attract my Soul-Mate.

When you have found your Soul-Mate you will naturally be faithful and there will be no cheating or even the slightest temptation to do so, regardless of the circumstance. There is no valid excuse for being unfaithful by either party. That behavior shows you that you are still searching for your Soul-Mate. It is not natural for men to behave this way and should it not be forgiven by the ladies. We are not “dogs,” we are human beings, and it’s time we matured and acted as though we had more intelligence than a homeless stray mut. Women should abide by this as well standard. Cheating is one of the most obvious ways to know you are not with your Soul-Mate. Let’s face it, cheating is never an accident and there is no excuse that justifies it. Not even being drunk or lonely or whatever you dream up in an attempt to be forgiven! A Soul-Mate relationship is one that allows both individuals in the union to be completely honest with themselves and each other. Being dishonest is yet another indicator that you’re not with your Soul-Mate. Both people will be completely satisfied in every way when in the proper relationship. Mutual respect is a clear sign of being with your Soul-Mate. I feel that this respect is a by-product of true love and will be there without effort. If the person you are with treats you disrespectfully in any manner, at any time, then they are obviously not your Soul-Mate.

9. In a Soul-Mate relationship, you can each be your true self. If you have any desire to change, condition, train or otherwise alter your partner, then it’s obvious they are not your Soul-Mate. Period. Soul-Mates will find that they can relax and be themselves, and all of their subtle quirks will be appreciated by the other person. You will find that you embrace these individual behaviors as endearing and smile when they arise because you are observing the person you love being themselves. If the other person irritates you, then I think that says a great deal, don’t you? Your Soul-Mate will basically be unable to irritate you or you them. Irritation is a form of resistance and this lets you know you are attempting to force something. Yes, we all have our off days or bad moods, but even then, you will realize that it is you who is off in that moment and not them. If at the beginning of a relationship, you feel there are things that you would change in the other person, then that lets you know that this is not your Soul-Mate. You will love your Soul-Mate for who they are right now and that love will continue to strengthen as you both grow in life. You will also notice that you encourage and inspire each other to grow while supporting that growth. This growth is the shared life journey of Soul-Mates.

10. There will be no need for drama, manipulation, control, or other negative behaviors or circumstances. Any healthy relationship must be free of these toxic behaviors. Anyone who participates in such things is not vibrating at a level conducive to attracting their Soul-Mate to begin with. A Soul-Mate relationship will not have the presence of any of these toxicities as there will be no need for it. Therefore, make sure that the person you are entering into a relationship with has made enough personal progress to have let go of the need for drama or control. These things always lead to an unhealthy relationship. Likewise, the need to manipulate others is a sign of severe insecurity; they attempt these things because they know the other person is not their Soul-Mate, yet they desire (in vain) to turn them into just that. This never ends well, for anyone. A Soul-Mate relationship will be drama-free. In order to attract your Soul-Mate into your experience you will both have to have made progress in raising your vibrations. Therefore, neither of you will have any use for drama, nor will you have the need to control someone else. You will have risen (vibrationally and spiritually) above such things. You will have no use for manipulation either, you will have risen above this and you will find yourselves able to accept “what is.”

In a Soul-Mate experience, you will find that you get your desired life path very clear between the both fo you from the beginning. You will also find yourself stepping outside of the confines of the herd and their social and cultural expectations. You will be able to honestly address questions that will verify that you are on the same page as the other person – as long as you each speak honestly from your heart. Questions such as, do we desire children or not? Where do you see yourself and us 5 years from now? Ten years from now? What personal pursuits do you have for yourself and as a couple? What about pets? Where do you desire to live? These questions, along with many others, should all be worked out prior to the relationship progressing too far. It is all too common for a relationship to begin and then people are engaged and they havent even addressed these common questions. This is a relationship based upon the unconscious, unawakened, mindless actions of someone who has no idea who they are searching for. I know because I was that type of person some 30 years ago.

You may notice that there are few relationships out there that can claim all of the ten points presented here. This speaks to how many people are in relationships with someone who is simply not their Soul-Mate, yet they keep forcing their way through life in denial of the truth. This is why Soul-Mate relationships are so rare. Not because the other person is too difficult to find, but because we continually insist on forcing relationships that were not meant to be. Human beings as a whole are not very good at finding that special person. It is a process that eludes us as we get taken off course by our own short-comings, sexual desires, impatience, the incessant urges of family members to make compromises (like they did – and how truly happy are they?) in order to have a relationship and give them play-toys in the form of children, and believing the unfortunate myths developed by social and cultural expectations. In a Soul-Mate experience you will notice that all of these points are in place without having to work at putting them there. Forcing anything is nature’s way of letting you know it is not to be. The typical result is human beings not being truly happy in their relationship and not willing to admit it to themselves or take action to correct it.

There are many stories out there designed to guilt you into staying in an unhappy relationship for a multitude of reasons. Remember that guilt is one of the lowest level vibrations in the human spectrum and not a healthy one. Guilt is often wielded casually and carelessly as an effective weapon and has the potential to do as much or more damage than any gun or knife. yet, guilt is used by so many people and religions in order to effect control. Rise above the guilt inflicted upon you by others- know in your heart what is right for you.

I feel that sharing your life with your Soul-Mate is part of your purpose for having this experience in the realm of time and space. I hope that you have the wonderful and blissful experience of being joined with your Soul-Mate. My only goal is to assist you in finding and cultivating the most absolutely magical, romantic relationship that was meant to be.

~ If you are interested in learning the transformational process known as the Expansion Mastery System, please grab your copy of my book, Expansion Mastery: The Practical Guide to Living a Fully Engaged Life. You can get it at www.expansionmastery.com or any fine bookseller near you!

Expansion Express – Practical Truths For Finding Your Soul-Mate

Hey everyone! Robert here!

This post and my last are just a couple ideas to help you start off the new year moving in the right direction. That direction, is toward happiness. I have been hearing that 2013 is off to a rough start for many, I hope these posts help you to turn it around and get yourself on track for a wonderful year. Our year is already off to a great start and filled with fun and exciting surprises.I hope the same for you.

Yes, I am a believer in the soul-mate concept. I wasn’t sure I did in the past, but I know with complete clarity now that soul-mates exist. I feel that people have different ideas of what a soul-mate is, so please allow me to share mine. I believe that a soul-mate is someone who is your other half. In the universal law of duality, we have a male and female. This is the same with the natural energies in the universe. The energies of masculine and feminine are not opposites, but compliments. I believe that we are linked to our soul-mate throughout every lifetime, that you have been together throughout countless lifetimes and have the potential to continue finding one another in many more. I also believe that finding one another, while being a challenge, is not always the difficult task it is made out to be in our mind. Remember that the Universe is always conspiring in your favor, attempting to bring you what you desire and are a match for vibrationally. Becoming a vibrational match with our soul-mate is a huge key to finding them.

Understanding what it takes to find your soul-mate is more involved than merely aligning your vibration. While that is certainly a determining factor, there are others things that will need to be brought into alignment as well. I would like to share some of them with you and offer personal examples that expand upon the topics I included in the section of my book on this subject. I hope you find them useful and that they can lead you to a happy and healthy soul-mate experience. I feel it is worth noting again, that opposites do not attract, at least not for long. The belief of opposites attracting should be changed to the understanding that “like attracts like” in order to find true happiness and your soul-mate.

I am going to be honest and share some insights that may be tough to hear. My goal here is not to offend, but to shed the light of honesty on this topic and areas of truth that others may not dare to share. I feel the truth is necessary if you intend to achieve success in finding your soul-mate. Not being ready to hear these truths indicates that you may not truly be ready to meet your soul-mate until such a time that you can hear and act upon the things shared in this article. I hope that if you are reading this that you are ready to progress in a positive direction. My agenda is to serve and assist you in the best way that I can so that you can do just that. I hope for your happiness that you are able to develop a truly honest, open and healthy relationship with the person perfectly suited to you and you to them.

The first step in finding your soul-mate is realized through finding yourself. This may sound strange, but it’s impossible to find your soul-mate if you are not crystal clear on who you are and who you desire to be. Coming into a state of clarity for who you are and who you desire to become is critical for attracting your soul-mate. This requires you to be completely honest with yourself, and you must develop the ability to listen to the voice of your heart instead of the voice in your head. We tend to make most of our life decisions based on social expectations and not truly from a place of personal honesty. Being honest with ourselves can be one of our greatest challenges and yet, failure to do so almost always results in a relationship that ends in unhappiness.

Here are some ideas to help you in this area…
1. Know what your spiritual foundation is in this moment and where you desire it to go in the future as you grow and mature. This is the core of your being and cannot be sacrificed or compromised. The spiritual foundation of your soul-mate will match yours. There will be no need for either of you to change. Converting someone is another form of forcing someone to become someone / something they are not, and is not necessary if they are truly your soul-mate.

2. Be honest with yourself on the things you do and do not like in life. Know yourself. This is your life! We are conditioned into feeling guilty of our behaviors when we focus on our true selves, believing we are being selfish. Living your life, your way is not selfish, it is what you are here to do. This area can include topics such as where you want to live, what type of hobbies you enjoy, what type of lifestyle you desire, what you expect from a relationship, what career you desire, what your personal morals are, what you prefer for a living environment and so on.

3. Be honest with yourself on the type of person you are attracted to. It helps to gain great clarity here as well. Knowing yourself will help you to be better in connection with the type of person you desire to share your life with. The type of person you are attracted to may have something to do with directing you toward your soul-mate. Living this way allows you to connect to your life purpose.

Another crucial factor is the ability to hold your state of authenticity within the unity of a relationship. It is all too common for people to sacrifice their authentic selves in the name creating a relationship, and then they further slip away as a family takes form. Of course, this begins with the relationship built upon untruths and will most likely not end positively. Usually, people attempt to give up part of themselves to fit with someone else or they pretend to be someone they aren’t, but this is not healthy and certainly no way to align yourself with your soul-mate. This is often viewed as compromise, or working at it and are signs that you are forcing a relationship that is not meant to be. It is great for each person to hold onto their individual identities and have their own personal interests, but the majority of interests should be the same as yours.

Here are some ideas to help you in this area…
1. Your soul-mate will like the things you like, there is no reason to compromise. The need to compromise means you are giving up part of yourself (or they are). Either way will lead to unhappiness at some point in the relationship. The need to get away from each other and “do your own thing” is a sign that you are not with your soul-mate.

2. Your soul-mate will love you for who you are now, not who they can train you to be or change you to fit the mold of someone they want. This is goes for you as well. You should love everything about them right now. There should be no desire to change them or train them, but instead, there should be the desire to help them to grow and expand who they are. Here are a couple examples of what I am referring to:

Women must break the cycle of falling for the proverbial “bad boy” in hopes that they can save them or change them. This is a no-win situation because you cannot force someone else to change, and even if you force them to want to change, as soon as they do change, the bad boy is no longer being authentic and then the woman doesn’t love them anymore because they are not the bad boy. The opportunistic man finds this type of woman an easy mark to live off of or cheat on and get away with it because they are addicted to the drama a “bad boy” provides. This whole cycle is one of insanity. You cannot fix someone who is broken; they will stay broken until they make the conscious decision to fix themselves. Releasing your need for drama will allow you to gravitate toward someone who is well adjusted and will provide a harmonious partnership.

Men must escape the cycle of falling for the proverbial “damsel in distress” in the hopes of saving them and being a hero. This hero complex is a weakness of the oversized, yet fragile, male ego and never results in a healthy relationship. The larger the male ego, the larger the hero complex. Often times, this makes the man an easy mark for an opportunistic woman as they find this type of man easy to manipulate by appealing to their inflated ego. Soon to follow is the “accidental” pregnancy as a way to trap you into a relationship. This type of situation doesn’t work out for a couple of reasons. Firstly, as soon as the woman doesn’t need saving anymore, the man loses interest and begins looking for another who does. The second reason is that for the woman who plays this game, the man eventually grows tired of the game and decides to change the rules; this usually means the end of the relationship. As you learn to subdue the ego you will no longer find it necessary to save the damsel in order to stroke your ego. It is then that you will gravitate toward someone more honest and well adjusted, providing you with a more harmonious relationship.

3. You should share the same ideas and discuss desired lifestyles at the beginning of the relationship. Things such as “do we even want to have children?”, “I like a clean, uncluttered home,” and other relationship preferences should be decided upon. The key here is honesty, right from the beginning. Knowing what you desire from a place of authenticity, not social expectation. Be honest with yourself and them; if you have different ideas regarding these things then the truth of the matter is that this is not your soul-mate. The relationship cannot be forced into existence and then expected to be healthy.

Yet another factor is the ability to raise your vibration to the level of the type of person you would like to attract as a mate. Remember that “like attracts like.” That means that if you desire to be with a high quality person with much to offer a relationship, then you must have your personal vibration to the level of a high quality person with much to offer a relationship. Often people look to someone else to lift them up, but this is not how you find your soul-mate; that simply results in a dysfunctional relationship. You must lift yourself up in order to attract someone else who is uplifted. That’s how this universal law works. Align your personal vibration with that of the type of person you truly desire and they will come to you. This is how you find you soul-mate – you attract them to you. The Universe will provide the opportunity to meet, there will be no need to force that either.

There you have it. Three key areas to help you find your soul-mate. You may have noticed the underlying theme of honesty running deeply through this article. It is typical to the point of being cliché’ that people desire honesty in their relationship. Yet, they themselves do not possess the ability to be honest with themselves or truly honest with the other person they are forming a relationship with. The ability to be completely honest with yourself is vitally important. How can anyone expect someone else to be honest with them when they cannot be honest with themselves? I stress this because it was my experience.

I wish you luck in your own journey for a soul-mate. Trust that they do exist and that they are waiting for you. I wish that you come to know the happiness that I know and live a life that feels like heaven of earth. I hope the ideas I share are able to guide you in the process and maybe even speed it up so that you spend many years together experiencing unified love, happiness and appreciation.

– P.S. – Don’t forget to grab your copy of Expansion Mastery! Its for sale on the website and each copy is signed and personalized to you or anyone you desire. While you are there, don’t hesitate to download your copy of on FREE e-book on Reinventing Yourself Through Re-Alignment. Visit www.expansionmastery.com today!

Expansion Express: Cleanliness and Clutter


Hey everyone! Robert here.

In my book, Expansion Mastery: The Practical Guide to Living a Fully Engaged Life, I cover in detail the importance of the role that cleanliness plays in our lives, our health and our spiritual expansion. I would like to take a moment to specifically address the cleanliness of our living environment. Allow me to start at the beginning…

When I was a child I had great housekeeping influences in my life. My grandmothers both kept their homes spotless and my own mother did a great job of keeping our family home clean as well. My grandfathers and dad kept up the outside and other repairs along with the vehicles. Together, working as a team, they kept enjoyable home environments. We were blessed that way. I was known for being clean and organized, even as a young child. To this day, my brother enjoys ribbing me about the way I used to clean my bedroom. My mom used to tease me about it too. Not your typical behavior for a young teenager, I admit; but I just knew a clean room felt better to me. Later, with my first factory job, I was placed in the warehouse and charged with the task of organizing their entire inventory after moving into a new facility. It was my job to catalog everything into the computer and then to keep track of it all as raw materials and packing supplies would come and go. Initially, the warehouse was a complete wreck, but soon enough I had successfully organized the massive storage space and had things operating smoothly.

Then there came a time in my life where I was not living from a place of authenticity. I allowed myself to be carried upon the whims and decisions of others without having the ability to be honest with myself and voice my heartfelt opinion. I was in a silent struggle with myself over what I truly desired and what I felt was expected of me by everyone in my life. I kept quiet and allowed others to make life choices for me. After all, I had grown up to become the “responsible one” and I couldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings or act in a way that would disappoint them. I was young, only 18 years old, and I didn’t know any better at the time – unfortunately. By the age of 20, I found myself shouldering the responsibility of a wife, a child, a house payment, and a factory job that I definitely knew I didn’t like. Before I knew it, my life had gotten away from me and I was in deep.

My living environment became messy and then progressed to lacking in cleanliness as the years went by. I lived with so much clutter and piles of “stuff” everywhere that I ended up just giving up trying to keep anything clean or nice. There seemed to be no use in doing so because it was right back to a state of clutter and lack of cleanliness in a matter of days after I cleaned. This placed a great deal of mental and emotional stress on me of which I was well aware. Reaching the stage of giving up is never a good thing, but I managed to achieve it after many years.

I accept full responsibility for living this way for over two decades; it was my own choice that was made through a lack of making a conscious choice in the first place. I would later learn that such differences are actually ways of showing whether or not you are compatible with a particular person; neither person should be forced to sacrifice the way they enjoy their living environment. Compatibility is not about compromise; that’s an unfortunate myth. It’s about sharing the same values from the very beginning. I have since come to know the truth that true compatibility or finding your soul-mate is about finding another person who shares your vibrational frequency and spiritual foundation. Attempting to raise another’s vibration to your level when they don’t want to is about as effective as attempting to awaken someone who is pretending to be asleep. Likewise, trying to lower your vibration to match someone else’s will have you living from a state of unhappiness almost instantly.

Through this, however, I have come to know the truth of the saying, “a cluttered home reveals a cluttered mind.” Your environment truly is a direct reflection of your mental, emotional, and vibrational conditions. Endless excuses can be made as to why the home is cluttered or dirty, but the fact remains that it is still a choice to allow it. When a cluttered or messy home is your comfort zone, it is a good sign that you are operating with a pretty low vibrational frequency and there are deeper mental and emotional issues that you may want to address and sort out. I always advise people to begin by being honest with themselves about who they want to be and the life they desire to live.

Your home, your car, your desk at work, your deck or patio, your yard – they all reflect the level of discipline and condition of your mind, your emotional state and your vibrational frequency. I often hear people claim, “we have small children so a messy house is to be expected.” Wrong! That’s simply an excuse created by your ego to pacify itself. It is a lack of mental discipline in yourself that you are passing along to your children. I also hear, “I am just too busy, I get to it when I can.” Another excuse with no merit whatsoever. Remember that no excuses are valid. I encourage you to make the conscious choice to stop accepting your own excuses and choose to clean the clutter of your mind and your living environment.

I am writing this after a wonderful experience I had a couple of days ago. We received a free carpet cleaning when resigning our lease; a nice gift that we appreciated. We decided to get it scheduled and taken care of as a way to help keep a certain feeling and level of cleanliness to our living environment that we both enjoy. We moved all of the furniture we possibly could to allow the carpet cleaner to do his job, piling things in the kitchen and bathrooms.

I must admit that I felt great pride when he came in and began to look around. Even in a state of disarray in preparation for the cleaning, I was still comfortable having someone come in. He told me that our carpets were the cleanest he had seen and that he wished everyone made his job this easy. He was able to clean our entire apartment in under 30 minutes, when he told me it usually took him 2 hours to clean others. He then began to look around even more and visit with me about all the things we have in our home. He was fascinated by all of the art, books, statues, and other furnishings in our home. He even stopped cleaning the floors at one point and told me that he wishes he could come in and just look around sometime because he could spend hours in here. Then the comment that everyone makes, even those who have not developed a sense of awareness for such things – “You have created an amazing home here! It feels so peaceful and everything is so clean and well-kept.” Why, thank you very much sir! That is 100% by design. 🙂 It felt so great to hear those words from him.

You see, there was a time when I was deeply embarrassed to have anyone show up on my doorstep at all, let alone unannounced. Usually I would not answer the door due to this embarrassment, instead hiding as though I wasn’t home. At most, I would go out onto the porch to talk to any visitors so they didn’t have to come in. What do you think happened? That’s right, people stopped coming over altogether.

I can say that it sure feels wonderful to be able to open our door at <em>anytime</em> and be proud to let someone in. There is never a need to apologize for the mess upon letting them in either. As a matter of fact, I find myself inviting people in at any opportunity because I am proud to share my living environment with them. Some people adopt the attitude of “This is how I live, if they don’t like it they don’t have to come in.” This is not a healthy attitude – mentally or emotionally. It is one thing to not be affected by the judgments of others, but it is another to alienate them because they choose not to have their vibration negatively impacted by your living conditions.

It is much more uplifting to know someone enjoys visiting your home and can appreciate being there with you, not to mention how great it feels to have people compliment you on how nice your home is. We enjoy knowing that someone’s vibration may be raised just by them visiting us in our home. We find it satisfying that someone’s vibrational frequency may be higher when they leave then when they arrived. Isn’t that the sign of positive human interaction, to have them feeling better than before they were around you?

I am not a “neat-freak” but I am someone who enjoys a clean and serene living environment, and I made the conscious choice to live no other way. It took me a while to get myself back on track and to be honest with myself regarding this and other personal issues, but better late than never. When you do this in all areas of your life you will find there is no longer a need to apologize for yourself or your opinion anymore. Then you can live from your own authenticity.

So by having your mind and emotions free of “clutter” it is reflected in your clean and organized living environment. Likewise, living in a clean, well-kept home and driving a vehicle that’s clean inside and out is a reflection of someone with a mind free of mental and emotional mess. Living in a cluttered, unkept home will cause you mental and emotional stress, negatively impacting your ability to focus. It drains your ambition and enthusiasm, and can drag you down into other poor behaviors. Whether you are able to discern it or not, it is still there, eating at you and diminishing your state of well-being like a form of cancer.

If you would indulge me, I would love to share something about the “feeling” of our home. We consciously set out to create a specific environment in our living space. Each room has a type of decorative theme and purposeful placement of furnishings through the concept of Feng Shui. We sat down together at the beginning of our relationship and discussed what kind of home we each wanted to live in. This is a great way to be authentic, honest and give your heart-felt opinion. This allows you to know that you are in agreement and working together. The desire to share the same type of living environment is a good sign that you are with the right person. There was no need for “compromise” as we each stated the same ideas. Then we went about manifesting this atmosphere within our home. We feel it everyday; others feel it whenever they walk through the door. We’ve had many people visit and every one of them has commented on this feeling because it is so prominent. It also serves us well when we have been traveling; to return home is like hitting a reset button of comfort and tranquility, returning our vibration to its usual state.

Make the conscious decision to develop a clutter-free mind and emotional state. Make the awakened choice to make changes to create and maintain a clean, clutter-free home. Make the choice to keep your vehicle clean and in working order inside and out. When we cook a meal, we get messy. We then clean up right after eating, then we go for a walk to aid the digestion process. This is much healthier mentally and physically then passing out in a recliner after eating. We also created the habits of closing a cabinet after we open it, keeping the refrigerator clean, no dishes in the sink- ever, and just randomly cleaning whatever we see needs it.

We take great care and effort to keep our vibrations high. There is never any yelling or arguing happening in our home, there is simply no need for it. We constantly strive to keep our minds free of clutter through being open and honest with ourselves and each other. We make it a habit to no longer even visit or stay anywhere that is run down, messy or cluttered.

The beginning of this New Year is an excellent time to clear the clutter from your mind and your living environment!